Silent Heartbeats
by Karrah Aretz
Summary: now finished!!
1. Mind the Gap

Silent Heartbeats: Mind the Gap  
By Maureen  
  
Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine, they're Disney's. I don't own a single one of them, although I wouldn't mind getting Chris as a present, not at all...anyways, my dreams aside, I'm not making any money on this either. I'm a poor college student and will take money, food, and free rides in cars if someone is feeling generous.  
Warning: This is a mature story and deals with many mature themes with graphic detail. There is adult language. If child abuse, cussing, and graphic allusions to sex & drug usage offend you, don't read any farther. If you do read this and become offended, you have been warned and I will have no sympathy for you.  
Authors' Notes: Thanks to BE-A-TL and Mad Cow for beta reading, I owe you both nuked lasagna (best I can do, sorry!). Also, parts of this are very similar to a fic by DQ77 and yes, I know it. Her fic, along with a movie from Lifetime (bows head in shame) helped inspire me, so thank you.  
  
***  
  
Jamie trudged out of the EMS station, both glad to be done with the grueling 24 hour shift and dreading going home. It was as if he was permanently stuck between a rock and a hard place, unable to find solace. A few blocks past the station it began to drizzle, a rain light enough to make everything wet, muddy and miserable without truly soaking him. With a sigh he thought about the mud stains he would be forced to scrub out of his pants later that night.   
  
When the team left their shift everyone headed off to the left of the station towards the high school and into the surrounding neighborhoods. Jamie headed to the right where soon the well-groomed shrubbery surrounding the houses ended and the slums of Kingsport began. Picket fences became chain link and an assortment of machinery and tires tended to take the place of well-kept flower gardens. This was where no one wanted to admit they lived, least of all Jamie Waite, but he was stuck there, at least until graduation.  
  
As he turned his key in the lock the door did not give the telltale click to announce the door being unlocked. That meant someone else was home. It couldn't be Peter who was away at college and would never been seen or heard from again. He received a scholarship to get out of what was termed 'Kings trash' and would never come back. The only person that could be home was his father, who was supposed to be at work.  
  
With an audible groan Jamie realized that he had taken yet another day off of work again to get drunk. This mean that soon his father would be home permanently while he combed the classifieds looking for another job. He hated it when his father was home; it was never pleasant. As long as Jamie had school during the day and did not have to come home while he was on shift, his life was almost perfect. Excepting those days when he was off shift and his father was home.  
  
"Boy, is that you?" the slurred words showed that this was easily his fourth or fifth beer, and the stink of cigar smoke permeated every orifice of the small house.   
  
"Yes, dad," Jamie replied, hoping that he would be so inebriated that he would allow his son to go quietly to his room without a problem. His wet and dirty uniform as well as the rest of his laundry could wait.   
  
"Where the hell have you been, boy?" he yelled indistinctly.  
  
"At work, sir," Jamie replied quietly.  
  
"At work," his father repeated, "And did you bring home a paycheck Mr. Workaholic? Your half of the rent?"  
  
"No sir, it's not payday yet." Jamie didn't bother to mention that since he was only on the EMS team because of his probation sentence he wasn't being paid anyways.   
  
That was the wrong thing to say. Lurching out of the faded easy chair, his father tumbled towards him, slightly unsteady on his feet. "It's never payday! You claim to work and work and work but you never bring home any fucking money! I think you're out fucking every whore you can get your hands on and getting high between whores! How many times do I have to tell you, either pay your half of everything or get the hell out of my house! You eat my food; use my electricity and water, live under my roof!! What do I get from you? Nothing. Not a fucking dime! Well no more James Waite!!" Jamie had simply stood there during his fathers tirade with his head bowed. There was nothing he could say in his defense, not that anything he could say would make a difference. Before Jamie could react his father swung his arm out, fist connecting solidly with his ear. Stumbling with surprise, he missed seeing his father swing at his head again, again connecting with his other ear. Stars came to his eyes and he fell down in pain. This gave his father the perfect time to begin kicking him, his heavy workman's boot making a sickening thunk against Jamie's face and chest.   
  
After only a few minutes he became bored with using his son as a human punching bag to work out his frustrations and turned towards the kitchen to find another beer. As he left Jamie crawled to his room and somehow managed to lock the door behind him before collapsing on the floor, unconscious.   
  
***  
  
Several days later Catie ran up to Val, her loose pigtails flying behind her, trying to catch her before she left her locker. "Val! Have you seen Jamie?" she asked her best friend, breathless. Val worked with Jamie on the EMS squad and she thought that even though Jamie hung out with the other "bleacher junkies", Val might've heard something from her friends within the "super squad".  
  
Jamie had been absent from school the past couple days. It was normal for him to skip school on occasion, but he rarely missed more than one day unless he was sick. Even then though, he usually called Catie or someone and let them know.  
  
"Actually, now that you mention it, no, I haven't. Why, don't you know where he is?" Val knew that Catie had a massive crush on the EMS gofer and she had thought that she would have known where he was before she did.   
  
The "super squad", was the nickname given to the three senior members of the EMS squad by Catie and Jamie aptly demonstrated why they often did not know where Jamie was if he did not show up somewhere. After all, "bleacher junkies" did not hang with members of the "super squad" willingly. Although, each admitted that neither group was totally bad or wrong. Simply different.  
  
"No! If I knew that I wouldn't be asking you! Hey," she said suddenly, "don't you guys go on duty after school today?"  
  
"Yeah, so?"   
  
"So Jamie will either call in sick or show up. I just hope he hasn't been sick…"Catie trailed off as she realized that she was acting like she cared for him. He was only a friend. Nothing more.  
  
"Yeah. He's been gone all this week actually. I haven't seen or heard from him since we got off shift this past Saturday. Tell you what, Catie, I'll call you at home as soon as I find something out, alright?" Val said, trying to be as positive as possible. Jamie was a refreshing addition to the team and was very good as the squad gofer as much as he grumbled about it.  
  
"Yeah, okay. Maybe I'll bring him some chicken soup or something later." Catie replied before walking away, her thoughts obviously still wrapped up with Jamie's apparent disappearance.  
  
The more Val thought about it, the more worried she became. If he was sick he would have at least checked in at the station in case he was needed or to let them know he wasn't coming in, as did everyone else. No one had heard from him since he left last shift. As she walked to the station the more convinced she became that something was foul at the Waite house.   
  
***  
  
"Alright, where's Jamie?" Alex yelled as the other three squad members came into the common room of the station. They had already been on shift an hour preparing the ambulance should an emergency arise. Jamie was sometimes late to work too, but never an hour late.   
  
"I don't know, Sir," Hank, the squad leader said, "I called his house thirty minutes ago and no one answered."  
  
Sighing, Alex rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I just called as well, no answer. I've also paged him and he hasn't called yet. Look, has anyone seen him since last Saturday?"  
  
Everyone shook their heads, no. Then Val piped up, "Catie mentioned earlier that she thought he might be sick. She's really worried, sir."  
  
"So am I, Val, so am I." Alex knew that Jamie came from a troubled home. His mother had left when he was only 8 and his father was continuously being fired from whatever menial labor job he had currently obtained. His brother Peter, often considered the 'perfect one' had graduated and left two years ago and no one had heard from him since. Before Alex could say anything else, the siren declaring a call rang out. "Go!"  
  
Racing into their seats in the ambulance, they started off, Hank reviewing the known information while Tyler drove. "A woman called saying something's wrong at the house next door, she didn't say what, only that a bedroom door is locked in the house next to hers and the house has been quiet the past several days. She also said there was a history of child abuse there and that the father left with a suitcase a while ago and hasn't returned."   
  
They all waited with trepidation until they reached the beginning of the neighborhood. Driving down the street to the house, Val looked out the window shocked at the general air of despair around her. Even though her family had recently moved to a smaller house, it was nowhere near as small or as run down as the houses they were passing. Even the yard that she had worked so hard at restoring was not as overgrown as the ones in front of these houses. Finally Tyler stopped the ambulance in front of a small gray house with peeling paint. It looked exactly the same as all the other houses.   
  
Climbing out, the trio ran into an obese woman in a muumuu and curlers. "You kids looking for the Waites?" she asked.  
  
"Yes ma'am," Hank replied, not realizing they were in front of Jamie's house.  
  
"The back door doesn't lock at the house, you can go in through there. It's the second bedroom door! The sons room!"  
  
"Thank you ma'am," Tyler said with a smile as they made their way around back.   
  
Once inside the house they were greeted with a mountain of unwashed dishes littered about the kitchen and living room. Old cigars and beer cans were strewn about the sofa and several flies buzzed around them. "Ew." Val whispered, shuddering. Never had she seen such squalor.  
  
Since there were only three other rooms than the kitchen/living room, it was fairly obvious which one was the bedroom they needed to look at. All the other doors were open, showing a bathroom that had probably never seen any sort of cleaning.  
  
What they could see of the open bedroom left much to be desired. The curtains were drawn and the bed unmade. Several beer cans were littered around the bed.  
  
Tyler turned the knob, nothing happened. Locked. He quickly began pounding on the door, calling out to whomever was in there. There was no response from inside. Spreading out, Tyler charged the door, hitting it with his shoulder. With the sickening sound of wood splitting the door swung open. "Thank god for rotted wood," Val mumbled as Tyler looked into the room.  
  
What they saw shocked them. Lying on the small, disheveled bed was Jamie, obviously in vast amounts of agony. He was covered in sweat and still wearing the uniform he had walked home in. Within seconds Hank was by his side, this was not his friend, this was a patient. "Tyler, Val, go get the backboard and supplies." He ordered.  
  
Clasping Jamie's clammy hand in his own, he said to him "Shhh, Jamie, it's okay. You're going to be fine." Hank then began his cursory diagnosis.  
  
When their hands touched, Jamie's eyes opened in surprise. "Wha?" he mumbled. Before Hank could reply Val and Tyler were back.   
  
"Alright guys, he's feverish and clammy and sweating. He has multiple contusions and abrasions, plus he's dehydrated and something's probably infected. Let's get him to the hospital!"  
  
Jamie felt nauseous inside the ambulance as it sped towards the Kingsport hospital. He could see Val trying to comfort him, but everything was silent, even though his mind was hazy, he knew he should be able to hear her. Struggling to not throw up, he mumbled, "Can't hear you," before falling back into unconsciousness.  
  
***  
  
Several hours later the doctor in charge of Jamie's case came out of the OR to speak with the EMS squad as well as Alex and Catie who had showed up concerned. As soon as he walked through the double doors everyone was up, out of their seats wanting to know if their friend was going to be all right.   
  
"Alright, is anyone here his family?" the doctor asked, knowing fully well that no one was. He had seen the punk-EMS member several times before helping to bring in patients to the hospital. It was quite different seeing one of the EMS members being brought in on the gurney though; his normally spiked black locks plastered to his forehead with sweat.  
  
"I'm in charge of the EMS squads. He works for me." Alex said in a tone that brooked no argument.   
  
"Well, he's going to be fine, but it will take time. He has pneumonia and several cracked ribs although nothing broken and his organs are undamaged. We've also put stitches in the cuts on his forehead and chin. They should heal with little scaring. He's going to be pretty sore for a long time. What we're most concerned about though, are the contusions around his head. There is no swelling but we're always careful about blows to the head. They often cause unforeseen problems, so until he regains consciousness we won't know how much permanent damage, if any, was done."  
  
"Well, what could happen, doctor?" Tyler asked. He didn't want the truth sugar coated. Despite the differences between the "super squad" and the "bleacher junkies" they really did care about Jamie and he, along with Catie, had opened their eyes to a new way to view life.  
  
"Possible blindness, deafness, brain damage, any or all could be temporary or permanent. If any has occurred. We don't know yet, but I think he'll be fine. He's in ICU right now and we're planning to move him to recovery tomorrow morning, you can come back then and see him, alright?" he hoped this would ease their fears.  
  
The squad reluctantly left the hospital to finish their shift, except for Catie who had insisted on staying a bit longer. As Alex had put it, "we all want to be here with him, but he would also want us out there saving lives. We can't be with him now, so lets help someone else until we can help him." No one could argue with his logic.  
  
***  
  
The next morning Val showed back up at the hospital bright and early, Tyler and Hank were both on their way. Catie was still there waiting to see Jamie. She was nodding off in the uncomfortable, molded plastic chair when Val touched her shoulder. She instantly jerked awake, and looked around. When she saw it was only Val who had awakened her, she gave a wan smile. "They just moved him to recovery. We can go see him soon. I thought you were the nurse telling me I could go in."   
  
"Have you been here all night?" Val asked her friend, handing her the cup of coffee she was holding.  
  
Without even looking at what was in the Styrofoam cup she took a huge gulp. Grimacing at the sweetened coffee, she handed it back to Val. "Yeah. I don't know how you can drink that stuff."   
  
"Catie, you need to go home, shower. We'll call you when it's alright to come see him, okay?"  
  
Catie shook her head mutely. "I'm staying, Val." She said, "I…care about him and I don't want to lose him, y'know?" Catie's parents had divorced several years ago and despite seeing her father regularly and his child support payments, she felt like she had lost him. They were never close and the distance became an insurmountable chasm as the years went by. She wasn't close to her mother either, not being the perfect blonde cheerleader like Val was, but it wasn't because they never spoke or saw each other.   
Val squeezed Catie's shoulder as the boys walked in, both carrying a small bag. "What's with the bags guys?" Val asked turning towards them.   
  
"Well, we figured Catie would still be here, thanks for proving us right by the way, so we brought a few things by for her." Tyler opened his bag handing her a clean t-shirt and a scrunchie. Hank handed her a travel toothbrush and a bottle of milk and a couple kolaches.   
"Hey guys, thanks." Catie replied, grateful. "I really did mean to go home last night, but well…I kept telling myself 5 more minutes and then it was morning."   
  
"Go get cleaned up, girl, and then we'll go see about Jamie, alright?" Val suggested, flashing her patent-pending 'super Val' smile. Silently seething at her own stupidity for not thinking of doing this herself, she decided to take out her anger at herself by trying to find out Jamie's status. "Hello," she said to the nurse at the nearby desk, "I'm here to see James Waite, what room is he in?"  
  
"Waite, Waite…he's in room 718, but it says here only members of the Kingsport EMS can see him." She stared over her glasses at Val, "I suppose you'll have to come back another time them."  
  
"I am a member of the Kingsport EMS," Val replied smoothly, pulling her wallet out with her ID card in it. Normally only the doctors in the ER knew the medics on sight, as that was the only section of the hospital they were ever in usually. There was a strict 'no interference' policy. Once the patient was at the hospital they were the concern of the doctors and nurses there, not the EMS. Period.   
  
"I see," she mumbled staring at the card. She obviously thought that it was a fake or that Val must be on some sort of super anti-aging cream as she was sure that Val was much to young to be working as an EMS technician. "Well, go right down this hallway until it turns right. Then turn right and it'll be the third door on the right. And you're friend has been here all night, she his sister?"  
  
"No. He has no family…she's a friend."  
  
"I see," she replied, winking, drawing what connotations she chooses.   
Val walked back to where Tyler and Hank were waiting at the same time Catie stepped out of the restroom. While still looking like she had spent the night in a hospital chair, she nonetheless looked much better with her hair brushed. She had also reapplied her dark purple gothic lipstick and washed her face. "Eat," Hank commanded as she came back, handing her the food, "It's better than hospital food and I don't want you to have low blood-sugar or anything. I promise, kolaches aren't too healthy but they're better than donuts."  
  
"Yes sir," Catie replied smirking at him, but she obediently began to eat the cheese filled pastry. She quickly finished and the foursome followed Val to Jamie's room.   
  
"So, Tyler," Catie said as they followed the hallway, "Where'd you get the clothes and stuff?" it was a simple purple t-shirt and was by no means anything Catie would normally wear. The scrunchie she had used to pull her hair back with was white and had small flowers all over it.   
  
Blushing slightly, he replied, "They're my mom's. I took them out of the clean laundry basket. She won't miss them. I know they aren't your style or anything, but my mom doesn't exactly dress like a Goth."  
  
"Nah, it's cool. Thanks. I appreciate it."   
  
"You're welcome."  
  
Reaching Jamie's door they all became silent, instinctively knowing that now was a time for silence. Opening the door, Val peered in at Jamie before going in. He lay there in the hospital bed and despite being nearly six feet tall, seeming so small and helpless. There was the standard IV drip of antibiotics and whatever fluids the doctors felt were necessary as well as breathing tubes going into his nose to help him breathe. His face was partially bandaged where he had stitches and the skin they could see was a mottled black and blue.   
  
Catie immediately took one of his lifeless hands, and squeezed it hoping for a reaction. Nothing. "Come on Jamie, wake up, man," she whispered, "you're a fighter. Don't quit now!"  
  
"He's not quitting, Catie," Hank replied, glancing up from his medical chart. He couldn't understand it all, but it looked like the doctors had Jamie sedated while his body healed a little more. "He's sedated."  
  
"I wish he were awake," Val said, "I wish he were cutting up and being a slacker goof-off. But most of all, I wish I knew who did this."  
  
Knocking on the door, a doctor walked in. "Hello, I'm Dr. Sanders. I'm in charge of James' case. Are you all EMS?"  
  
They nodded, not letting on that Catie wasn't.   
  
"He goes by Jamie," Catie told him, "He hates being called 'James'."  
  
"Thanks." The doctor replied, making a quick note of that. "He's sedated right now, but he'll wake up later this afternoon and we'll see how he's doing then. Do you have any idea what happened to him? The ER reports were vague."  
  
"No sir," Hank replied.  
  
"I might…but I hope I'm wrong. He mentioned once that his father had a really bad temper, he may have… I've been here all night and his father hasn't shown up once to see him." Catie told the doctor quietly. It was hard to comprehend anyone beating their kid within inches of his life.  
  
"When we were at his house yesterday his next door neighbor said his father had left with a suitcase in hand. It looked like he might be gone for good." Val added, helpfully.  
"Thanks. Don't stay for too long, okay? He's going to be fine." With a slight wave he left the room, heading straight to his office.   
  
Twenty minutes later the group began to head out to their cars, deciding to get a decent lunch and then heading back later in the afternoon to see Jamie again. As they headed out, Alex was heading in.   
  
"Alex!" Tyler exclaimed, surprised, "what're you doing here?" he asked before kicking himself. As much as the man punished Jamie for his insolence and tardiness, he also pushed him to better himself and to learn as much as possible. Alex did truly care about all of his EMS squad, even Jamie. Perhaps, especially Jamie.  
  
"Doctor Sanders called letting me know you guys were there and he said he had some things to discuss with me." With the last sentence four sets of eyes gazed at him hopefully, thinking perhaps he knew something they did not. "I don't know anything yet. Where are you guys headed?"  
  
"Lunch. Don't know where yet though," Hank said.  
  
"Meet me at the station after you eat then. I promise not to hold anything back."  
  
"Alright. See you later then." Hank said as they left, towards the parking garage. Each was silent wondering what it was that Dr. Sanders could want to speak with Alex about.   
  
***  
  
An hour later they pulled into the stations' parking lot, after eating lunch at the local Luby's. It was a decent restaurant/cafeteria with affordable prices. Catie claimed it was the best place to eat ever since it offered several different choices of pie and she was a pie fiend.   
  
Alex was already back, working on some paperwork in his office. When he heard the door open he called out, "Come on in here, kids, I've got some important news."  
Once everyone was seated or standing where they will, he began. "Mr. Waite is missing. I've already called the police department and filed a missing persons for him. Also, Dr. Sanders has filed for a search for him in order to press charges against him for what we think he did to Jamie. Child Protective Services have already been contacted and they are going to send a caseworker to visit with Jamie once he regains consciousness. Dr. Sanders suggested that I petition to become Jamie's legal guardian. I've already agreed to do so. Any comments?"  
  
"That's great Alex!" Catie exclaimed, "Well, not the bit about his father, but about you being his guardian!"  
  
"Yeah," Hank concurred, "that is good news. Except…well, what does Jamie think of all of this?"  
  
"He still hasn't regained consciousness yet, but we'll ask him once he does. I have no clue how I'm going to handle this," Alex said ruefully, "and I never thought this would be a part of this job. But, what the Hell, he needs someone and he is a good kid. Rather him here than in some foster home where God-know-what could happen." Seeing their shocked expressions at his candidacy, he waved his hand towards the door, motioning for them to leave.  



	2. Bouncing Reality Checks

Silent Heartbeats: Bouncing Reality Checks  
By Maureen  
  
Authors note: "Spoken words", /Written words/, *Signed words*  
  
***  
  
Back at the hospital Jamie was just beginning to regain consciousness. The nurse on duty was in his room when he opened his eyes and immediately wished that he hadn't. The bright lights hurt his eyes and he felt like not only had he lost a fight with a Mack truck but that he was hung over to boot. Then he remembered his father.  
  
"Well, you're awake. That's wonderful!" the nurse said, once she'd noticed that he was awake. "How're you feeling?"  
  
Jamie just stared at her. Her lips were moving and he was almost positive that she was indeed speaking, but he couldn't hear anything. "What?" he replied. "I can't hear you." Come to think of it, he couldn't hear himself either. He quickly began to panic before his EMT training kicked in and calmed him down again.   
  
She smiled down at him, and pulled a small pad of paper and a pencil out of her smock pocket. Quickly she wrote, /I'm going to get the doctor. Keep this./ and left the pad and pencil on the side of the bed.  
  
Jamie reached over to get it and began to feel dizzy, so he decided to forget it and just wait. He decided after a cursory check of himself, meaning only what he could feel or see without moving, that he was probably better off dead. He had never been in so much pain before, moving had never been such a chore. Sure, he'd been in fights before, and even beaten up by his father, but never anything nearly this terrible.  
  
Before he could continue his internal monologue an older man with white hair strode in, the nurse that had been in his room a few minutes ago with him. "Hello, Jamie. I'm Dr. Sanders." He said, but to Jamie it was once again as if his ears were stuffed with cotton. He just stared at the doctor blankly.   
  
Dr. Sanders was in his late fifties and looked like a kindly grandfather although he appeared fit. His age was not slowing him down one bit. He took the pad and pencil and wrote   
/I'm Dr. Sanders. How do you feel?/  
  
"Like a I lost a fight with a Mack truck. Why can't I hear anything?" Jamie replied angrily. He wanted someone to explain what was happening!  
  
/You were brought in late yesterday afternoon and spent 2 hours in surgery. You have four fractured ribs but nothing was punctured, pneumonia in addition to dehydration and starvation. If this wasn't enough you have numerous cuts and bruises. You were also hit in the head several times, which is why you can't hear right now./  
  
"He hit my head twice, I think. How long will this last?" Jamie asked, concerned. He could deal with this for a couple days tops, but no longer than that!  
  
/We don't know how long it will last or if it permanent. We're going to run some tests to find out tomorrow morning. Who hurt you, Jamie?/  
  
"My dad, of course! But he's never done anything like this before, ever. Hey…where's Catie and everybody?" Jamie asked, suddenly suspicious.  
  
/I made them leave last night after you got out of the OR and your friend Catie spent all night outside, keeping an eye on you. Your other friends showed up this morning, I sent them away for lunch and expect them back at any moment. They were quite anxious to make sure you were alright./  
  
"Thanks…I think I'm going back to sleep." Jamie replied suddenly feeling tired. He'd been awake for less than an hour and was already tired. It was nice though, he reflected, as he drifted off to sleep, that they cared.   
  
Dr. Sanders shook his head at the boy in the bed, and left the room, hoping for the best. He seemed like such a good kid.   
  
***  
  
Slightly over an hour later, Catie and the others showed back up at the hospital. As they headed towards Jamie's room a different nurse at the nurses' station stopped them. "Where are you kids going?" she asked.  
  
"To see Jamie Waite," Hank replied.  
  
"He's asleep now, but he did wake up for a little while. Try to be quiet alright?"   
she said, smiling at them. They looked very worried about their friend.  
  
"No problem ma'am," said Hank as they headed down the hall to see Jamie once again.  
  
Jamie had just fallen asleep again when Catie entered his room, this time alone. The others had decided that she should go in alone first if he woke up. He was thrashing around a small amount, restrained mostly because of his body's silent protests and the taunt bandages around his middle preventing him from bending.   
  
"Jamie," she whispered softly, in a soothing voice. "Are you alright?" She smoothed away the errant hair that had fallen into his eyes and looked at him concerned. By her reckoning he must be having a whopper of a bad dream. She touched his shoulder slightly and he instinctively jerked away. Nearing tears she sat in the chair next to the bed, to hold his hand, hoping that he would awaken from his nightmare soon.  
  
"Jamie," she sniffed, "I, I love you and I'm so scared you're going to leave. Promise me Jamie, you won't leave me, ever…promise?"   
  
Jamie slept, firmly enshrouded in his nightmare.  
  
After everyone had taken their turn to see Jamie he had still not woken up. According to the nurse on duty this was normal. He would sleep more until his body healed enough and then would be awake and most likely bored.  
  
***  
  
Forced by school constraints as well as cheerleading and football practice plus work, Val, Hank and Tyler were not able to get back to the hospital to see Jamie until the following Saturday, a week after his accident. However, Catie had no such constraints. Missing Jerry Springer after school was not what anyone considered to be a huge loss, including her.   
  
Despite being bedridden he still would still have something new to tell Catie about his day. Usually it involved the severity of the days poking and prodding. They had taken him for a MRI several days ago although nobody would tell him the results. He was beginning to wonder if he would ever regain his hearing. It had been almost a week.   
  
"Hey Jamie," Catie said, bouncing in as only she could do. She waved as well. It was very disconcerting to both of them to have such one-sided conversations but they made due. She had brought in a dry-erase board and a couple markers, which made things easier. Today though she dug a book out of her bag and handed it to him. In big letters the words A Beginners Guide to Sign Language were written in white.   
  
"I'm going to hear again Catie!" Jamie said furiously while noting once again how odd it was to speak and not hear his voice. "I don't need to know sign language!"  
  
/I know,/ Catie wrote on the board, /but it could be useful to know anyways. I mean, what if you have a call and the patient is deaf? Besides, I think sign language is pretty./  
  
"If you say so," he muttered sullenly. They had strapped headphones to his head the previous day and told him to raise his right hand every time he heard noises in his right ear and the same for his left. He had raised his left hand once and his right hand twice. He knew he was supposed to have raised it more than that. "I just wish I knew what was going on. They say my ribs are healing fine and the pneumonia is almost gone, but nothing about my ears! I want to fucking know!"  
  
"I know," Catie said, smoothing his hair back with his hand. Over the past several days they had become much closer. They hadn't admitted their feelings per se yet, not so each other, but it was obvious from their mannerisms towards each other that they were now a couple, officially or not. "I know."  
  
/What do you think of living with Alex?/ She wrote down for him.  
  
Jamie snorted replying, "It'll be like living the super squad I bet. You know, doing homework. But it won't be a foster home and he won't hit me so…do I have any other choices?"  
  
/Not really, but it is your choice. Are you going to press charges on your Dad?/  
  
"Yeah, the lady from CPS said I have to unless I want to go back to living with him. This is assuming of course, that we find him. Man, this sucks hardcore!"  
  
"Yeah." Catie agreed. /I'll be right back!/ She wrote, seeing Dr. Sanders outside.  
  
In the hallway, she cornered the good doctor as he headed towards his office. "Dr. Sanders!" she called down the corridor to him. "I want to talk to you about Jamie."  
  
"You mean if he's going to regain his hearing any time soon," said Dr. Sanders anticipating what she wanted. He had been trying to keep Jamie from learning the truth for as long as he could, but every day he had asked.   
  
"Well?" she queried.  
  
"I don't know how to put this, for you Catie, but, no. I don't think he'll ever regain much, if any of his hearing again. I've already looked into possible surgery to restore it and there is nothing we can do yet. Cochlear implants also aren't an option. However, he does have some hearing, our voices simply aren't in that range. In a couple days we'll make some molds of his ears and have some hearing aids made. He should be able to hear a little with them."  
  
"How much is a little?" she asked with trepidation. Her Jamie? Deaf? She refused to believe it.  
  
"He might, perhaps, be able to hear loud shouts or other loud noises. No voices." There was only sorrow in his eyes as he looked down at her. He could see her trying vainly to not start crying.  
  
Catie turned and ran back down the hall towards Jamie's room, tears streaming down her face. She ran in to the room and threw herself onto his bed, hugging him as hard as she dared to without hurting him. "What is it?" Jamie asked softly stroking her long hair.  
  
Catie sniffled and began to write. /I just spoke to Dr. Sanders. He says…your hearing loss is permanent./  
  
"What?" Jamie asked, not believing her. He knew she wouldn't like to him, but this was not a notion he was willing to entertain. He knew he would hear again.  
  
Catie erased what she had written earlier and wrote /they want to give you some hearing aids; they said you will be able to hear some with them. /  
  
"I'm not going to be deaf forever Catie. I'll have an operation or something, there's gotta be some other solution." Jamie's voice cracked, and tears began to run uncontrollably down his face as well. They attempted to comfort each other as best they could.  
  
***  
  
Word spread the next day of the diagnosis. Brianne didn't seem to care so much since she thought Jamie was a spaz anyways, even if he had helped save her life. Val, Tyler and Hank were all shook by the news. No one ever expected someone they knew to be hurt in such a horrible way. This wasn't some movie with a happy ending. As Val had said to Catie when they were discussing what had happened 'it's hard to remember that we don't live in a perfect world until it affects you or someone you love'. Even Principal Carlson took Catie aside and asked her to express his sorrow for him. Catie just stared at him and told him she would. It had never occurred to her that he might care.   
  
Catie was soon seen at school with a sign language book under her arm practicing various signs, none of which could be misconstrued as an insult. Shortly the 'super squad' had joined her in learning to sign and had signed up at the local YMCA for the upcoming class. Deaf or not, he was their friend and writing notes would not work well.   
  
***  
  
When the EMTs showed up the following Saturday, Jamie was pouring over the sign language book and practicing some signs.   
  
/Hey Jamie, Val wrote, how're you doing?/  
  
"How do you think Val?" he replied bitterly. Being deaf was boring. He had nothing to do. "I'm bored to tears. The only thing I can do is read this damn book!"  
  
/We brought you something else to do. Here./ Val handed him a deck of cards and Tyler procured a book from his backpack, The Electric Kool-aid Acid Trip by Tom Wolfe*. It looked like something Jamie or Catie might read.   
  
/We can't stay long, but you're always welcome at the station anytime. And try not to drive Alex too crazy, he said he was getting you out of this loony bin next Wednesday./  
  
"Yeah, freedom. It'll be great. I'm not 100% better yet but I'm well enough. They said that by the end of next week I'll be fine, which is great. I can't stand any more of this hospital food!"  
  
/We have to go now, see you Jamie, and get better!/  
  
***  
  
Alex's petition for guardianship was granted much to everyone's relief and as soon as Jamie was released he'd go home with Alex. Alex for his part had gone by Jamie's old house and had packed the few clothes and belongings for Jamie and had already put them in his room.   
  
Alex shook his head as he hung up the last poster on the wall. The formerly white walls were now covered in dark colored rock posters of The Who, Metallica and Pearl Jam. Smaller posters of punk rock bands were on the various doors proclaiming upcoming shows by Ultimate Fake Book, Green Day, The Get Up Kids and Weezer.   
  
Other than The Who Alex had never heard of any of these bands and briefly wondered if this was a good thing or not. Shrugging philosophically he decided it didn't matter, as there would mostly likely not be any music blaring. He arranged the few knick-knacks on the dresser; a few miscellaneous toys, a couple different pairs of sunglasses and a lava lamp. He taped some photos of the EMS squad and Catie to the mirror.  
  
On the desk he set up the small stereo and the stack of CDs. He also put his schoolbooks and supplied there, in neat little drawers. The second hand guitar that Jamie owned he propped up against the desk. Within ten minutes of Jamie entering the room it was guaranteed to be a disaster area.  
  
***  
  
*Hey Jamie* Alex signed as he came in the hospital room. Jamie was firmly ensconced in the book Catie had brought for him, the Electric Kool-aid Acid Test. Tapping him on the shoulder he pointed to his eyes with two fingers, the sign for 'pay attention'.   
  
*What?* he signed, putting the book down. Since he couldn't watch TV and there really wasn't much else to do, he had taken up reading.  
  
*How do you like the book?*   
  
*It's…weird* he signed back, spelling weird out since he didn't know how to say it. A sign language teacher came in for several hours a day to teach him basic signs he would need to know.  
  
Picking up the dry-erase board Alex /wrote you are being released tomorrow. How are you feeling?/  
  
"Alright. Better. I can breathe better, the pneumonia is gone and so is most of the bruising. I'm still black and blue a little and my ribs are normal yet. The cuts on my face are healing well too." Jamie replied. He tried to sign, as much as he could, but he was very limited to what he knew how to say.  
  
/I've enrolled you in Bradford Academy. It's the deaf school near here. They're going to make you fluent in sign and teach you how to read lips./  
  
"Will I still be on the squad?" he asked, a seeming nonsequitur. He had been worrying about this for the past week but had never asked.   
  
Alex just signed *No.* /But you will work at the station still. You haven't finished your probation./  
  
"Figures." Jamie said smiling. Even though he wanted to still be an EMT, he realized that now he couldn't be. This was simply confirmation, but at least he would still be there. Working with Brooke he supposed. "Why can't I stay at Kingsport?" As much as he loathed the school at least his friends were there and he knew the status quo. A new school meant new everything. More change to his already chaotic life.  
  
/They will make you conversant in sign within a semester and you will probably repeat your sophomore year again. Just think though, you'll be able to pull your grades up so you can get into a good college./  
  
"A good college? Another year of high school? Alex, you have got to be kidding! I am not a school person! I can't do that!"   
  
*Yes, you can. You smart.* /I will pick you up tomorrow at 10am. Anything special you want to do?/  
  
"Can I go to the bookstore? I'm almost finished with this book. And I'd like to see everyone at school, you know, let them know I'm alive."  
  
*Sure.*  
  
  
*A/n: The Electric Kool-aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe looks like an excellent book (with an awesome name!) that I plan to buy as soon as I have money. It's about Ken Kesey and the 60's (and lots of acid). Ken Kesey wrote One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, which I have as required reading for one of my classes, 'natch! It's the 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon!   



	3. Zipples

Silent Heartbeats 3: Zipples  
By Maureen  
  
Authors note: "Spoken words", /Written words/, *Signed words*  
  
  
Jamie left the hospital accompanied only by Alex, although he had promised that after a couple errands they'd run by the school to see everyone. Their first stop was, of course, the bookstore where Jamie was able to coax several books on sign language as well as Clockwork Orange* out of Alex.   
  
It was odd, Jamie mused, now that they technically weren't boss/juvenile delinquent how well they seemed to tolerate each other. It was by no means a comfortable relationship, but it was bearable.   
  
*Thanks* Jamie signed as Alex paid for the books.   
  
Alex decided to stop at the nearby McDonald's before they headed on to Kingsport High School.   
  
*So, now what?* Jamie asked as they munched on their big Macs. Alex had taken the liberty to order for the both of them, 2 Big Macs without cheese and a large Dr. Pepper.   
  
*Now what? I don't understand?* Alex signed back. He had learned the basics of sign language years ago when he became the Captain of the EMTs but had never had a chance to practice it until now. Thankfully, he had not forgotten most of it.  
  
"My life. I mean I'm deaf, Alex! I can't go to Kingsport anymore, I'm no longer an EMT; I can't play the guitar anymore,what else is there? What now?"  
  
/They all meant a lot to you, didn't they? Even though you tried to pretend that nothing mattered./  
  
"Yeah. School! I mean, I was a bleacher junkie. I can do better, but why bother? Scholastics weren't exactly emphasized at home. Nothing was. We're bums and nogoodniks." Jamie smiled as he said the last word a twit that worked at the local mall had called him that once. He laughed at the time, but now, it seemed oddly appropriate. "The station was the one place I could go and be me and it not matter. I could study without being bothered or could hang out without having to prove myself. I was the gofer and I knew where I stood. I was accepted."  
  
/Jamie, you are accepted/, Alex wrote,   
  
/Catie hasn't been visiting every day for no reason. Neither has Val, Tyler or Hank. Or me. Who else has come to see you? That Keith guy you hang with? Brianne?/  
  
"You mean Kenny. No. No one else has come to see me."  
  
/Because we care about you. We're your friends. And we aren't going to let you go, understand? Okay, you've changed. So what? Change is life and life is change. You adapt. We're all adapting and we still accept you./   
  
"If you say so," Jamie replied doubtfully. He secretly hoped it was true, but life had taught him otherwise. Your friends were the people that weren't currently stabbing you in the back. Your enemies were the friends that had succeeded in backstabbing you. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't help but feel that Alex was lying to him.   
  
Unlike everyone else Jamie was from the proverbial 'wrong side of the tracks'. Life had been harsh from a young age. He could barely remember his mother. He knew that she was a fourth Japanese and her name was Mariko Yashida before she had married Pete Waite Sr. They had met while he was an ensign stationed at the Yokosuka naval base in Japan. Her family was in debt to the Yokuza and she had run away with Peter Waite to avoid having to be married to the Yokuza masters son.   
  
As romantic as the story began it quickly took a downward spiral. It soon became apparent to Pete that she was not the ideal wife that he imagined her to be. As he had beaten his son, he had beaten his wife as well, until she left after he had beaten her so badly she miscarried. Jamie had only been three at the time.   
  
Peter, Jamie's older brother, was six and had told him the few stories he could remember, but for both it was mostly haze. They did not even have any photos of her as their father had destroyed all the pictures after it had become apparent that she was not coming back.  
  
Jamie had inherited her hair and the slight, unassuming bone structure of the Japanese, while retaining a more caucasion cast to his skin and his fathers height. Peter more resembled their father and Pete Sr. had always hated how Jamie had resembled his exwife.  
  
Now here he was, thirteen years later willingly leaving the same life she had. Both strangers in strange lands, her a country not her own and him a silent land, nearly impenetrable by the average person. Snorting as he gathered up his rubbish and depositing it in the bin.  
  
***  
  
They arrived at school just as 5th period was beginning. 5th period was also the lunch period so Jamie headed first towards the football bleachers to see most of his friends. When he got there everyone except Catie stared at him as if he had grown a second head, and an ugly one to boot. Catie ran towards him giving him a huge hug and practically dragged him under the bleachers with everyone.   
  
Despite being released from the hospital he still had some cuts and bruises that had not fully healed yet and he still had the stitches in his face. "Hey," Jamie said, running his hand through his hair nervously, hoping he sounded normal. Not being able to hear himself had made him become self-conscious about speaking since he could not modulate his voice.  
  
"Hey James," Kenny replied. "Thought you were deaf or something, that you weren't coming back here."  
  
Guessing what Kenny had said, Jamie replied angrily, "That's why you shouldn't think Kenny!" Not wanting to continue speaking with him, or any of the other bleacher junkies except Catie, he continued, "I just came to say 'hi'. So hi."   
  
Catie stood up from where she was sitting next to Brianne and signed *I'm going to go see Val. Want to come?*  
  
*Sure.* "Bye guys!"  
  
As they trudged back to the cafeteria, Jamie was debating if he was surprised at Kenny's reaction or not. He was the de facto leader of everyone and it was fairly obvious that whatever friendship they had two weeks ago was now null and void. This unfortunately extended to everybody under his command except for Catie who was his rival for leader. She was charismatic and usually sensible, although willing to stand up for anything she felt was necessary. Always willing to fight the good fight.   
  
"It's weird," Jamie said, "I know the cafeteria is roaring with noise, but I can't hear anything. It's so disconcerting."  
  
Catie only nodded in response as they weaved though people and tables to where the super squad usually sat. When Val saw them she immediately jumped up, giving Jamie a huge hug.  
  
*How are you!* she asked, signing quickly. In sign language they had discovered that there were degrees of excitement like with spoken words. The faster a person signed showed their proficiency as well as their excitement and the larger a person made the signs the more they were exaggerating or excited.  
  
*I'm fine. It's weird to be back* before anyone could reply or pull a piece of paper out Tyler and Hank came out of the hot lunch line complaining about the 'mystery meat'.   
  
"The only mystery here is how this got classified as meat!" Hank proclaimed, setting his tray on the table.  
  
"Nah," Tyler denied, "the mystery is why we haven't had a call because the meat got someone sick!" all three EMTs were on duty and in their uniforms, despite it being school. 24-hour shifts meant 24-hour shifts.   
  
Val cleared her throat and motioned quickly with her head towards Jamie. *Hey Jamie* Hank signed, noticing him. *How's it going?*   
  
"Hey Hank, Tyler. You two married yet?" Jamie asked, am evil glint in his eye.  
  
"Not quite yet," Tyler said, grabbing a hold of Jamie's arm and propelling him towards the doors to the football field.   
  
Hank followed, calling behind him "Guy stuff be right back!"  
  
***  
  
Out in the middle of the field where no one could possibly overhear them, they sat down. "Okay guys, what gives?" Jamie asked.   
  
/Don't talk./ Hank wrote, /we have something to tell you, Val already knows. We just told her yesterday./  
  
*Knows what?* Jamie signed.   
  
/Tyler and I are going out./   
  
*What?* Jamie signed, confused. They were going out? /Like boyfriend-boyfriend going out?/ He wrote on the notepad Tyler had produced from his pocket.   
  
*Yes* Tyler signed back.   
  
*Weird* /but you two act like you're married, so I guess it was something to be expected. What about Val?/ Jamie asked, concerned. It was well known that Val had a huge crush on Tyler.   
  
/I've already told Val and she's upset but alright. We weren't going out. We're still friends and everything and I'm not totally giving up on girls. I'm bi./ Tyler wrote.  
  
*Weird. But cool.*  
  
/You're not weirded out by this? /  
  
/Nah, you're not the first people I've known to walk down the middle of Gay Street. Whatever tickles your pickle./ After Jamie wrote the last sentence the trio began to laugh and headed back inside. Jamie wouldn't tell, and as long as Val wasn't upset he had no problem with it.   
  
***  
  
After Jamie had come back in from outside he had quickly sought Catie out amongst the crowd. They decided to sit on the floor by the gym. It was a little used hallway during lunch that was close enough for them not to get into trouble for leaving the lunchroom while still maintaining some semblance of privacy. *How're you doing?*  
  
*I'm fine, Jamie* Catie signed back. Each person created their own personal sign to represent their name and Jamie had chosen to make the J sign over his chest which, was a slight modification of the word 'life'. Catie had chosen to make the C sign at her forehead and to thrust it down to her open palm. *Why?*  
  
*Well, everything is so different now. You keep asking how I am, but I never ask how you're doing.*  
  
*I'm fine, worried, but not as much. I was scared you were going to die.*  
  
*Yeah, I've been kinda scared too.*  
  
The bell ending lunch rang only seconds after and she only had time to give him a quick peck on the cheek and waving goodbye before leaving for class. Jamie reached up and touched his cheek, a slight smile gracing his features.  
  
***  
  
Jamie made his way back towards the school parking lot where Alex was waiting. He practically ran up and hugged the older man when he got to the car. "Catie likes me! She likes me!" He yelled, or hoped he yelled. Jamie danced around in little circles as only one that is so used to rejection and is so elated can do.  
  
*Congratulations* Alex signed. He briefly closed his eyes and wondered what he was getting into. A hormonal teenage boy with a girl, family problems and who was deaf was going to be living with him. This was going to be interesting providing they both lived through it.  
  
  
*a/n Clockwork Orange is an awesome book and is a great movie by Stanley Kubrick, however; neither are for the faint at heart, people unable to handle VERY mature topics or who have strict parents. I like it. Also (if you're still reading this) I'm obsessed with Japan and the culture and had just emerged from being emersed in everything Japan for an entire day when I wrote this so-yeah, that explains Jamie. Besides, it COULD happen!  
  



	4. The Kids're All Right

Silent Heartbeats: The Kids're All Right  
By Maureen  
  
Disclaimers: this fic is mine. Any unrecognizable characters are mine (aka only Jamie's mom who has only been mentioned!) everyone else is not mine. Deal. I'm in college and have no money so screw you!  
A/N: once again, thanks go out to my wonderful beta readers Mad Cow and Be-A-TL, I'm only going to thank you every couple chapters instead of every chapter because I'm an ungrateful wretch and because everyone doesn't want to read this all the time.   
Note II: I've read many fics in many different genres where fans hurt their fave characters (there are entire lists dedicated to this!) and while I have hurt him a little (not much compared with other EF writers) I wanted to see what would happen if I did something permanent which is rarely done in these fics. So this is why I am not going to have some miracle cure in case anyone was wondering.  
Remember all "Hail to the Maureen, Baby!!!!!!!!"  
  
***  
  
Jamie shifted feet nervously with Alex outside the headmistresses' office of the Bradford Academy for the Deaf. He felt odd dressed in his uniform trousers, white dress shirt, his standard leather jacket and shiny doc martens. The school had a strict uniform policy and he would have to buy the regulation blazer and tie and sweater once he was officially admitted.   
  
Alex and Jamie had gone out the day before to buy the uniform basics and had only managed to find two pairs of trousers, which was why Jamie was forced to wear the ones from his uniform. Instead of an undershirt, Jamie had insisted on wearing one of his t-shirts with the ¾ sleeves. Alex had maintained that it was inappropriate for the school, but Jamie had persevered once Alex had relented. Alex figured that the headmistress would do something concerning the undershirt.  
  
"Ah, welcome, Jamie," Mrs. Gilberson said emerging from the inner sanctum that was her office; she slowly spoke while she signed. "For the remainder of this semester as well as over the summer, you will be involved in an intensive sign language emersion program. Next autumn you will begin again as a sophomore, where we hope you will study hard and graduate at the top of your class."  
  
Mrs. Gilberson was a petite woman, barely 5 feet tall, whereas Jamie was nearly 6 feet. However, she had an energy about her that commanded attention. She began to walk and talk and Jamie fell in step next to her so he could follow what her hands were saying. They stopped beside a nondescript brown door labeled 'uniforms'. She opened it and handed a pullover and jacket to Jamie.   
  
When he just stood there, Alex nudged him, earning a dirty look. Rolling his eyes Jamie traded jackets. Surprisingly enough, the jacket fit. Shortly after she handed him a blue tie with a gray pinstripe on it. "No way am I wearing a tie," Jamie proclaimed.   
  
"It works like this young man: you may either wear the blazer and tie or the pullover. It's your choice." Although he could not hear her voice, he felt her icy gaze pierce him. Obediently he traded the school blazer for the pullover. Alex took the blazer and tie, handing Jamie his leather jacket back.   
  
Alex had driven his car while Jamie had followed on his motorcycle and he would need the warm jacket for when he left school and headed to the station. Alex had him working every other weekday from 4:00-8:00 and on Saturdays from 9:00-5:00. *Have fun, Jamie, see you later.* Alex signed, walking away. He had an EMS station to run..  
  
***  
  
Mrs. Gilbertson deposited Jamie at the room that would be his classroom for the next several months after making sure he understood all the rules and what would be happening. He'd be in an intensive sign language program with other teens and adults that were deaf, immersed in it. He'd be learning mostly elementary level academics as he was not trying to master the concepts being taught, but the vocabulary.   
  
His teacher was Ms. Adams and she worked with Mike, Jenny and Kiesha as her aides. Since everyone was at different levels they would break up into groups to learn their lessons. Jamie was placed with Jenny and about five other students that were approximately his age or a perhaps slightly older. *Hello,* Jenny signed as the teacher introduced him. *Why don't you tell a little about yourself? Whatever you can sign.*  
  
*My name's Jamie and I'm 16. I am an EMT* he signed, hoping it would be enough. He did not know how to say much about himself.   
  
*EMT?* someone else signed, a blonde haired girl that appeared a couple years older than he.  
  
*Emergency Medical Technician* Jenny answered, spelling the words out quickly. *How can you do this and be deaf?*  
  
*I can't now, but I still work at the station and am considered an EMT because I am qualified.* Jamie replied, although he was forced to finger spell most of the words.  
  
*Nice to meet you, Jamie,* Jenny replied at his explanation, *Now, lets have a seat. Right now, we're learning the animals,* as she signed she would also speak, enunciating her words. She had a series of large flash cards on a stand that everyone could see and would sign the name of the animal and everyone in the group would repeat her. They worked like this for an hour until Jamie was sure he would know how to say every possible animal imaginable in his sleep.   
  
When the hour was up they rotated to a different station where a different aide was teaching something else. The second aide that Jamie met was Kiesha who was teaching them shopping terms such as 'how much is this' and different articles of clothing. By the time lunch came around Jamie felt like he was bursting with new signs, but had no use for any of them yet. He figured that at this rate he'd be fluent in only a few short weeks.   
  
*Hey,* a guy signed walking up to where Jamie had sat down. *I'm Jeremy. You must be new.*  
  
*Hi. I'm Jamie, I started class today.* Jamie replied. Jeremy had neatly cropped blonde hair and looked as if he was born to wear the school uniform. He had two large hearing aides resting on the bridge of his ears, trying ineffectually to blend in with his skin.   
  
*Where are you from?* Jeremy signed, sitting down with Jamie. He signed quickly and fluidly, unlike the choppy signs Jamie made.   
  
*Kingsport.*  
  
*The why're you just now staring here?*   
  
*I became deaf recently. I used to go to Kingsport High School.*  
  
*Oh. Can you hear at all?* before he could continue, the lights flashed signaling the end of lunch. Instead of using a traditional bell system to mark the beginning and end of each class period, Bradford used lights. Regular lights flashing for a few seconds meant class changes and red lights flashing intermittently meant the fire alarm was going off.  
  
***  
  
The end of the first day of school came quickly and Jamie grabbed the motorcycle saddlebag from his locker and headed towards the restrooms. He quickly changed into his EMT uniform and leather jacket. Reviewing his homework in his head he was surprised at how little there was. He simply had to practice his animal signs for a quiz the following day.  
  
He saw Jeremy in the parking lot hanging out with some other guys in front of a blue mustang. He headed over there as his motorcycle was parked a few spaces down. *Hey* Jamie said.   
  
*Hey.* Jeremy replied. *What's with the clothes?*  
  
*Uniform. I'm on my way to work..*  
  
*Really? 'Kingsport EMT', you're a doctor?*  
  
*No, an EMT. You know, ambulances? Anyways, I'll see you tomorrow, I'm about to be late.* the guys that Jeremy was with were grinning at him mockingly. Despite them not laughing, Jamie felt his cheeks burn; their facial expressions were the silent equivalent.   
  
***  
  
Jamie was taking inventory in the front closet when Catie arrived at the station. Not only was this his first day of school but his first day back at work.   
  
She quickly tapped his shoulder to get his attention and signed *So? How was school?*  
  
"Same shit, different day." He replied, smiling. So far she was the best part of his day. "But you make it all better."  
  
"Of course!" Catie replied with a flourish. Even though he couldn't hear her, he understood the general message. She motioned that she was going to go see Val for a minute and then come help him.   
  
While she was gone, Jamie reflected on her while he worked. He had to admit, she was a great thing to think about when bored. Her hair, her eyes, her smile, all uniquely Catie.   
  
She came back a few minutes later and handed him a piece of paper /They left on a call./  
  
"Damnit" Jamie yelled, finally confronted with the reality that he was not with them. Being an EMT is a hard, thankless job, but he loved it and he loved working with his friends. Now they had gone out on a call without him, while he stayed back like some old matron, incapable of participating. "This sucks hardcore!"  
  
Jamie knocked some empty boxes over, trying to vent his anger. Immediately Catie was there, engulfing him in a hug. They melded together on the floor, Catie cradling her best friend. She stroked his hair, the small dark spikes that was his trademark unable to stay up against her. He melted down, trying vainly to maintain his 'tough guy' demeanor.  
  
Catie murmured softly, as he buried his face in her neck, after only a few seconds she felt hot, salty tears on her neck as Jamie's body was wracked with sobs. "Why?" he questioned over and over, "why me?"   
  
Catie felt so helpless to comfort him. She continued to rub his back and just hold him, unable to soothe him any more. Finally he had cried himself out of tears and they sat on the cold cement floor together, Jamie feeding off of Catie's energy and enthusiasm.   
  
"Want to come over tonight?" Jamie asked her, from where he leaned on her chest. On a side note he marveled at how soft her skin was and how she made such a good pillow.  
  
*I can't," she replied mournfully, /I'm going to visit my Grandmother later and spend the weekend. It is very difficult to write with you here/   
  
"Yup. My goal, to prevent you from writing notes." Jamie replied after he had decoded the barely legible scrawl. He sat up, and wiped his still red eyes. "Um, look, I just want to say, thanks. And I'll deny this happened if you say anything."  
  
*No problem* she signed, making a kings x over her heart and holding up her pinkie finger. Jamie responded by linking his pinkie with hers, sealing the promise.   
  
"Thanks, Catie. Um,have fun at your Grandmothers."  
  
Instead of responding with words she stuck her tongue out and pretended to collapse on the floor. Not fun was the gist of the message.  
  



	5. Antitrust

Silent Heartbeats 5: Antitrust  
By Maureen  
  
***  
Jamie dreamt. His sleep, unfortunately, was not the sleep of the innocent. He thrashed around in the twin bed, throwing off the white sheets and the light blanket yet still managing to be firmly tangled up in them. His kicking feet had long since pushed the blue plaid bedspread from the end of the bed to the floor. He cried out, searching in his dreams for solace, for a protector, and, as usual, found none.   
  
Alex awoke with a jolt and quickly glanced at the clock blearily. 2:45 the clock blinked back ominously. Sighing, he pulled on his robe and walked down the short hall to the room where Jamie slept. This was becoming a nightly routine since Jamie had come to live with him, although after nearly 3 weeks he was beginning to only have one dream a night.  
  
Creeping into Jamie's room, he turned on the bedside light, casting an eerie glow throughout the room. He put his hand on the smaller boys shoulder shaking it lightly. The light never woke him from the night terrors and shouting would, of course, do no good.   
  
Gasping, Jamie sat straight up, his eyes blinking rapidly. Before he understood what was happening his arm swung out, hitting Alex squarely in the jaw. Alex reeled backwards, shocked by the blow. He grabbed his jaw with one hand, while trying to show the frightened youth that he meant no harm.   
  
Finally waking fully, Jamie's eyes widened as he saw what he had done. Panicking, he exclaimed "Alex! Are you all right, I didn't mean...I mean..!"  
  
*I'm okay.* he signed, not mad. *Be quiet. You're shouting.*   
  
Over the past several weeks Jamie had started speaking progressively louder, as if by raising his voice, he'd be able to hear himself. Alex or whoever happened to be around would admonished him that he needed to speak softer, at which time he would begin to speak at a normal level once again.  
  
The both headed towards the kitchen to get an icepack from the freezer. Jamie sat at the table toying with a glass of juice, embarrassed.   
  
*Want to tell me about it?* Alex asked, as he did every night after a nightmare.  
  
"No." Jamie replied, sullenly. "It was just a nightmare."  
  
*Of your father?*  
  
"Yeah." He said, being drawn into talking. "It's been nearly 5 weeks now, Alex, and he hasn't been found. Part of me hopes he's gone for good, but, I want him to see justice. I want him to pay for what he's done to me."  
  
*He should pay, Jamie. But you should not be worrying about it. You should worry about school.*   
  
"I keep reliving those days before you guys found me. I thought I was going to die."  
  
Awkwardly, Alex reached over and patted his hand. He was not very paternal and physical contact from anyone other then Catie frequently spooked his ward, yet often time there was no other way to get his attention. *You're safe now.* he signed, cursing his limited vocabulary.   
  
Jamie had started to see a psychologist about his problems, but the communications gap seemed insurmountable at times. They had been meeting once a week for two weeks now and little progress had been made, although not much had been expected in such a short time.   
  
He also began to open up to Alex more and more as the weeks had past. They both looked at each other in a new light. Jamie had stopped seeing Alex as the bull nosed, stubborn doctor and had begun to allow Alex to see the many layers that had made up James Robert Waite. They were both impressed with what they saw in the other.   
  
*Sleep now?* Alex asked, yawning. Thank goodness it was a Friday night, neither would have been able to wake had it been a weekday the following day.  
  
"Yeah. Night Alex. Sorry again," Jamie put his now empty glass away and headed back to his bedroom. A few minutes later the light turned out.  
  
Alex sat in the darkened kitchen wondering what could be done to help Jamie. On the outside he seemed to be adapting well to his new life, but Alex was fairly certain it was merely a façade. He rarely saw the 'super squad' outside of the station anymore, and Alex had overheard Tyler and Val discussing it. He rarely saw any of his friends anymore except for Catie who came over several nights a week. He never went over there and it did not appear that Jamie was making any new friends at Bradford.  
  
***  
  
The next morning dawned well before Alex was ready for it to. Over a cup of coffee he glanced at his calendar to see what needed be done that day since neither he nor Jamie was working. Penciled in the small box was 'Jamie-Catie shopping'. Of course, he remembered, Catie was supposed to come over at 9:30 and they were going to go shopping.   
  
Partly this was to help Jamie get used to using common words, but also to get him used to interacting within the hearing world. Kingsport High School was holding a spring formal in a few weeks and Jamie was going to help Catie pick out a dress. They were going together, much to Jamie's embarrassment, he was afraid he'd make a fool of himself or ruin the evening by refusing to dance.  
  
Alex glanced at the clock on the microwave, which read 9:20. 9:20...Catie was going to be there in 10 minutes and Jamie was still asleep! Jumping out of the chair he ran to Jamie's room, shaking him awake.   
  
"Wha?" Jamie mumbled, disoriented. Without responding, Alex went over to the window and threw the curtains open, light cascading into the room, lighting it up. Jamie immediately shielded his eyes "Why'd you do that, man?"   
  
*Catie. 10 minutes* Alex signed, motioning for Jamie to go into the bathroom. Jamie staggered into the smaller room and looked at himself blearily. Hum. Hair sticking out on end every way imaginable and several that weren't, needed to shave and morning breath. Well, time to get to work getting presentable.   
  
Within the 10 minutes he had to get ready he managed to shower and start shaving. Since it was only the two guys living there, Jamie frequently left the door open to the bathroom while he shaved so the mirror would defog quickly. Without him knowing it, Catie had arrived and when he turned wondering why the shadows had moved she was standing in the doorway, smiling. Jamie just stood there with only a towel wrapped around his waist, and shaving cream smeared over half his face.  
  
He dropped the razor in the sink.   
  
Catie just waved.  
  
"Catie? Could you...uh...go in my room or something? Go watch some cartoons?" Jamie replied, flustered, trying to maintain as much dignity as one can clad only in a towel and shaving cream.  
  
*Why?* Catie replied, smirking, *You look good like this.*  
  
Jamie felt his cheeks grow hot and he tried to chase her out of the room without dislodging the towel. Once she had gone, he firmly closed the door and continued to shave, hoping he didn't look as embarrassed as he felt.  
  
He crossed the hallway to his room, where he found Catie laying on his bed as if she owned it, flipping through his book, Clockwork Orange. "Catie!" he exclaimed, hoping she would leave him to get dressed in peace.  
  
*What?* she asked, setting the book down. *I don't see your problem. Oh, here.* she handed him the note Alex had left for him.   
  
/Gone to run errands, be back later. Have Catie call if you are going to be later than 5pm - Alex/  
  
Wonderful, Jamie thought, not only is Catie here being stubborn, Alex isn't here to get rid of her!  
  
Jamie opened the drawer of the dresser and grabbed the first pair of boxers and undershirt he found. He went back into the bathroom and changed into them, taking the time before coming back into his room to spike his mostly wet hair. Back in his room he pulled on the pair of clean jeans lying over his desk chair and then rummaged through his closet searching for a clean shirt. He finally found his NOFX band t-shirt. Sitting on the bed he pulled on socks and his black low top chucks, before reaching for his wallet and other essentials. Finally he turned around to face Catie.   
  
*Ready?*  
  
*I've been ready hours ago. Lead the way to the mall!" On his way out Jamie grabbed his patent-pending leather jacket and his two helmets. Only thirty minutes after waking up, he was already out the door.  
  
***  
  
As soon as they reached his bike, Jamie slapped his forehead with his palm. "Catie, wait here, I'll be right back!"  
  
Before she could answer he shoved the helmets in her hands and bolted back into the apartment building. Several minutes later he came back down, and for the life of her Catie couldn't figure out what was so important.   
  
*What was so important?* she asked.  
  
Jamie turned his head and folded the small flap of cartilage at the top of his ear down. There was a large, flesh colored hearing aid resting on the top of his ear with a small tube of wires connecting it to the inside of his ear.   
  
"I got them yesterday…and if I turn the music up full blast, I can hear some of it!" Jamie wore a huge smile, happy he could now hear something even if the human voice was still out of his range. "They're as ugly as sin, but they work!"  
  
Catie smiled back at him, *That's wonderful! So you could dance right? At the school dance?*  
  
"I…guess. I'm not making any promises." Jamie took his usual helmet and placed it on his head, effectively ending the conversation. Catie sighed, wishing he would be willing to dance with her no matter what and tugged the helmet over her head. Experience had taught her to wear pants and her hair down when riding a motorcycle so she was clad in jeans and one of her favorite shirts, a rose colored wavy plaid with gold shot throughout it, and of course, her doc martens.   
  
***  
  
After two hours of shopping Jamie was convinced he was smoking bad crack when he agreed to go shopping with Catie. Why couldn't she go with Val? Jamie thought as he slouched in the chair outside the dressing rooms of the third store. So far she had tried on every dress Jamie could imagine and several he couldn't yet had not found one to her liking.   
  
Their first stop had been the formal wear store for a tuxedo rental. That had only taken 30-odd minutes. Why couldn't girls be more like guys, he wondered. All he did was flip through the book until he saw the tux he wanted and then made sure it they had it in his size and it fit. In, out, and done in slightly over 30 minutes, even with Catie forced to translate for him.   
  
*Well?* Catie asked, stepping in front of his and interrupting his musings.   
  
"Wow, Catie…" Jamie started at a loss for words. It was a royal purple ball gown, with a fitted bodice, showing off everything she had to the utmost advantage before a full skirt poured out from her hips. The dark color accented her ivory skin and made her already dark hair seem the color of ebony. "I, I, like it."  
  
*You think so?*  
  
"Yeah, you look gorgeous…." He trailed off as he noticed some other guys looking at her, their eyes glazed over. He glared at them over her shoulder as she walked back into the changing rooms to put her street clothes on, his expression an unmistakable sign reading 'she's mine, stay away'.   
  
***  
  
A few minutes later the guys had left and Catie came out, carrying the dress over her arm. She took it over to the register and the woman rang it up for her, before placing it on a rack behind her with a tag reading 'Catie Roth'. She would come back with her mother later to pick it up since she couldn't carry it with her on the bike.   
  
"Hey," Jamie said, coming up behind her.  
  
*Hey* she replied, smiling. *You really like it?*  
  
"I wouldn't say I did if I didn't. So you're done dress shopping right?"  
  
*Yeah, what do you have in mind?*  
  
10 minutes later they Jamie was completely lost within the small bookstore, searching for new books to read. Despite the TV having closed captioning he rarely watched it anymore. It wasn't the same, he claimed, and instead had turned to reading.   
  
Catie found him in the science fiction section surrounded by a plethora of novels, with Jamie in the middle, completely oblivious to anyone and anything but the books. Sighing she turned around and strolled back to the magazines. They still had plenty of time to shop and he was obviously content for the moment at least.  
  
"Hey Catie, what's up?" Val asked, spying her best friend.   
  
"Oh, hey Val. Not much, I've been looking for a dress."  
  
"For the dance?" So far, Val didn't have a date since she had been planning on going with Tyler. She had considered briefly asking on of the guys from the football team out, but discarded that when she remembered the only ones without dates already were going stag for a reason. It's the 21st century; she figured with a smirk, I can go by myself as well.   
  
"Yeah. Jamie ordered his tux today too."  
  
"Where is he? I haven't seen him outside of work in a while." Val asked, looking around the store.  
  
"Over in sci-fi completely engrossed. I'm almost hesitant to disturb him."  
  
"Almost?" Val laughed, before heading over there, Catie in tow.   
  
Val tapped Jamie on the shoulder, and then felt so bad as he jumped a mile. *Sorry,* she signed, sheepishly. Catie on the other hand, laughed, earning herself a dirty look from both Jamie and Val.  
  
"Hey, Val!" Jamie exclaimed.   
  
"Shhh," Val said, motioning for him to lower his voice. It was a constant struggle for him to maintain a consistent volume and often times forgot to.   
  
"Sorry," he muttered, crest fallen. Yet another reminder he was no longer normal. "We were about to leave, so I'll see you at work Val."  
  
*Bye* Val signed, wishing she could sign better so she could find out what was bothering him.  
  
Jamie practically ran off, Catie in tow. She cast an apologetic look at Val and called out to her "I'll call you later!"  
*Jamie!* Catie signed as she pulled out a piece of paper from her bag /Why'd you blow off Val?/  
  
"I felt like leaving. I feel like going home now."  
  
*Oookay…* Catie signed, knowing she was missing something important.  
  
He dropped her off at her house and left before she could thank him for going shopping with her. Miffed, she went side and called Val's house.  
  
***  
  
Jamie ran into the deserted apartment and immediately grabbed his favorite CD, Ten by Pearl Jam, and put it in the player. He turned the volume up as high as it would go, only hearing a whisper of the music, as if the volume was too low. He followed by turning on the TV as loud as possible as well before searching out more noise.   
  
Within minutes the apartment was a cacophony of sounds with Jamie in the middle straining to hear any of it, tears streaming down his face because he could only barely hear any of it. Last night he was jumping for joy, today he was depressed.  
  
Alex could hear the noise down the hallway and was almost bowled over by the noise when he opened the door. Dropping the bags of groceries in the small entryway, and shutting the door he rushed over to Jamie, crouching as near to the stereo speakers as he could get.   
  
Alex turned off the TV and stereo, before he too became deaf and enveloped Jamie in a hug. Jamie responded by attempting to break free and Alex restrained him. After only a few minutes Jamie had begun to hyperventilate and finally stop crying, his breath coming in short hiccupy gasps.  
  
Alex rocked back and forth with his ward; trying to comfort him, while attempting to imagine the hell he was going through with the end nowhere in sight. After nearly 20 minutes, Jamie had cried himself dry and had fallen asleep his head against Alex's chest. Struggling to pick the man-boy up, he carried him to his bed placing him on it and taking his shoes off. Alex smoothed his spiky hair down and watched it stand back up before leaving the room.   
  
A/N: NOFX is an awesome punk rock band. I like them, they have a song called 'the brews' it's the greatest song they do IMO.   



	6. Crown of Thorns

Silent Heartbeats 6: Crown of Thorns  
By Maureen  
  
***  
  
"So, Catie, what was up with Jamie?" Val asked, concerned. He had been undergoing a rapid metamorphosis over the past few weeks. He had drawn into himself; nearly becoming introverted even for a bleacher junkie and refused to hang with anyone save Catie.  
  
"He's not adjusting as well as he wants everyone to think he is. He's so dependent on Alex or someone for a lot more than we realize and it's like someone took a dagger* and stabbed his pride. He's seeing a doctor about it, but it's slow."  
  
"Isn't his custody hearing soon?" Val asked, wondering if this tied into it.   
  
"Yeah, next Wednesday. He won't admit it but he's scared shitless."  
  
"Have they found his dad?"  
  
"No, but Alex said that they will have the hearing regardless. I want to help him, but he won't let me close. We're kinda going out too…" Catie trailed off, hurt evident in her voice over the phone.  
  
"What if we have a party for him after the hearing? We're all going right?" Val suggested, hoping that maybe he needed another friendly confidence boost. She rolled over on her bed so she could see if Brooke was coming. She didn't know that Val and the others were going to the hearing and was not supposed to know, as she had to go to school. "We could hold it at the station since we're all on call that evening."   
  
"Sounds good to me. I'm going to the hearing, and I assumed everyone else would too. That's why Alex scheduled you not to come on until almost 6:00pm."  
  
"Cool, well, I have homework to do, see you on Monday, alright?" Catie asked. Bleacher junkie or not she still wanted to get into a good university and the only way that would happen was to keep her grades up.   
  
"Monday. Bye!" Val repeated, before hanging up the phone. She was worried about Jamie; he was sinking rapidly into depression, while pretending that everything was fine and dandy.  
  
***  
  
*Ready?* Alex asked, as Jamie stepped into the living room the following Wednesday. He was attired in his EMT uniform trousers, a white button down shirt and his black doc martens, freshly polished.   
"Yeah." Jamie replied dully, not looking forward to going to court yet again. At least this time he wasn't on trial.  
  
*No boots.*  
  
"Boots stay. For luck." Jamie insisted. He might be forced to wear nice shoes to school but he'd be damned if he had to wear those bloody uncomfortable shoes today.  
  
Alex shrugged, handing him a navy blue sports jacket. When Jamie looked at it, he realized it wasn't his school jacket like he thought. On the lapel were two pins, one saying EMT and the other with Jamie's official rank of gofer. On the breast were three small ribbons that he did not know the meaning of. *Your dress uniform jacket.* Alex explained at Jamie's confused look. *You've earned everything on it.*  
  
"Mine?" Jamie repeated dumbly. He knew that somewhere in the station he had a dress uniform jacket but he had never had a reason to wear it. Alex helped him into it and then knotted the matching navy blue tie.  
  
*Yours* Alex chuckled at his bewildered expression, before shrugging on his own uniform jacket. His lapels showed his rank of station captain and he had a myriad of colored ribbons on his breast pocket. On the kitchen table was a navy blue officers hat with gold piping and the EMT crest. Alex picked it up smartly and opened the door with Jamie to proceed. He was not an officer so he did not get a dress hat.  
  
***  
  
The courthouse looked as menacing as it always did to Jamie. A large building with heavy wooden pillars in front and a large oak door stood resolutely in the center as if saying 'all decisions here a final so if you don't like it, tough!'. Jamie gave a mental shudder as he climbed out of the passenger seat of Alex's 1995 Honda Accord, here his future for the next 2 years could be decided with barely a yay or a nay from Jamie..   
  
They met Jamie's caseworker, an overworked woman named Jean Williams and the state-appointed lawyer that Jamie had spoken with several times, at the front door. "Ready, James?" the lawyer asked, not bothering to wait for an answer or a reminder that the rhetorical question fell upon deaf ears.  
  
Inside the courtroom Jamie was surprised to see Hank, Tyler and Val in their dress EMT uniforms as well and Catie sporting what appeared to be a casual suit. As they walked up to the defense table everyone waved, and Hank and Tyler's free hands were touching slightly. Jamie smiled and flashed the thumbs-up sign, thankful for their support.  
  
They sat down and shortly after the bailiff walked in and announced to everyone that they should rise for the judge. Jamie's father was notoriously absent. Both lawyers postured a bit and presented their cases to the judge instead of the jury because there was no jury for cases like this. However, both sides knew that Jamie would continue to stay with Alex at least until Peter Waite Sr. was found. In his case plan they were attempting reunification between Jamie and his father, despite Jamie's protests of never wanting to see him again.   
  
Finally the judge called Jamie to the witness stand and after being sworn in, allowed the lawyers to question him through a state-provided translator.   
  
*Other than the incident approximately 5 weeks ago, did your father ever beat you?*  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
*How often?*  
  
"Only about once a week until Peter left, then it increased to 2 or 3 times a week."  
  
*When did Peter leave?*  
  
"This past August. He left for college." The seemingly moot questions went on forever, each one apparently more redundant that the last. Finally he was allowed to step down. Much to Jamie's surprise he had somehow managed to keep his temper in check throughout the questioning.  
  
*Good job* Alex signed to him as he sat back down.   
  
"Court will recess for thirty minutes." The judge announced banging on his gavel.   
  
Everyone filed out of the courtroom into the hallways and Jamie could see the prosecuting lawyer heading off towards the restrooms. Jamie decided to head the opposite way to the vending machines and quickly fed some spare change in for a candy bar. *Hey* Catie signed, giving him a hug. *You okay?*   
  
Several times on the stand it had seemed like he was about to break down, especially when he was forced to describe the last beating in graphic detail, but he'd look over towards Alex who would nod or to Catie and seem to collect himself once again. "Yeah, it's just intense. He didn't even come, but I'm not I would have been able to deal with this if he had." They didn't even need to mention who 'he' was.   
  
Before they could continue the rest of the EMTs walked up, Tyler and Hank grinning silly grins at each other. They somehow managed to tear themselves away from each other, to slap Jamie on the shoulder for support and give him some words of encouragement. Between work, practice and school their sign language classes were not taking priority and they did not have the gestures to express what they wanted to say, unlike Catie.   
  
"So, how is the happy couple?" Jamie asked, eating his snack. They were standing around so they did not muss their uniforms and Jamie could see Alex and the caseworker conferring out of the corner of his eye.  
  
Catie and Val giggled at that non sequitur, but it was a valid question. Tyler turned an impossible shade of red and closely resembled a cherry with sandy blonde hair. Hank didn't turn red although he squirmed in his dress shirt, loosening his tie in embarrassment. Val came to their rescue saying "They're so cloyingly sweet I feel like I'm going to get a cavity! You should come out of the office or store rooms and hang with us more!"  
  
Jamie glared at her and looked at Catie who was still giggling. "Damn it!"  
  
"Oh." Realizing her mistake, Val's hand flew up to her mouth and it was her turn to turn red in humiliation. Catie came to her rescue and quickly translated what she had said.   
  
"Yeah, I might." Jamie replied, having no intention of doing so. This was yet another reminder that he couldn't hang with them like normal anymore.   
  
After thirty minutes they filed back into the courtroom, the EMTs presenting a united front behind their friend. "Please be seated" the bailiff announced as the judge made himself comfortable on the bench.   
  
"After careful consideration of the case presented as well as considering Mr. Waite's wishes, I have come to the conclusion that it is in his best interests to remain with Mr. Alex Freeman." The EMTs could not contain themselves at this news and began to cheer. The judge banged his gavel to restore order and once they had quieted he continued, "This has been demonstrated not only by Mr. Peter Waite's inability to be present at this hearing and psychologist reports but also takes into account Mr. James Waite's personal preferences. This hearing is over!"  
  
Everyone rushed forward to Jamie, hugging him. He just grinned like a maniac, almost not believing it. The girl down the street at what was now officially his old house had been in and out of foster homes as long as Jamie could remember and was always returned after a few months. She had told him the horror stories of both, of how she was little more than a servant and play toy for her foster parents and a punching bag for her real parents. His greatest nightmare after the one about his father reappearing was being sent to a foster home.  
  
***  
  
They headed to the station where Brooke had decorated it with red and blue streamers and hung a sign saying 'Jamie Day'. Below it was a small cake and a few presents. Everyone walked in before Jamie and when he did, he was shocked. He stood there mutely, mouth agape and missed seeing Brooke hissing at Val when she realized her older sister had skipped school.  
  
*Well, what do you think?* Alex asked finally.  
  
"Wow...but why?"   
  
*Because silly,* Catie said, *we care about you and wanted an excuse to get you out of the store room!*  
  
"Open your presents, Jamie!" Brooke chirped, bouncing from foot to foot. He somehow managed to understand her meaning and sat down across from them on the couch. She handed him the first box, obviously large and heavy. He tore open the wrapping paper surprised at the coke box underneath it. He opened the end and tons of Styrofoam popcorn fell out, coating the floor. He looked inside the box and nothing was there.   
  
"What the - ?" he asked, confused. Catie leaned over and began rooting through the popcorn. A second later she emerged from the popcorn, a triumphant grin gracing her features. She proudly handed him a small flat box with an envelope taped to it.  
  
He opened the envelope first, and pulled out a card with a pug in a bumble be suit. When he opened it up the words 'congrats Jamie! You kick butt!' were scrawled across it in Catie's familiar handwriting. When he opened the box there was a shiny link necklace in it like he had been wanting for a while. Engraved on the center links was his name, one letter per link. He quickly unhooked it and rehooked it around his neck, leaning over to give Catie a hug. *Thanks.*  
  
The next present came from Val and Brooke. They gave him three new books to read, Val had picked them from the stack at the bookstore the weekend before. Tyler and Hank gave him a couple t-shirts, the first was white and said 'I drive fast, run lights, rip off car doors. I'm not crazy I'm an EMT!', the second was gray and had the EMT logo with the words 'Emergency Medical Technician' written underneath it in blue.  
  
"Oh, guys, thanks," Jamie said, truly touched. He quickly shed his jacket and shirt and donned the gray EMT t-shirt.  
  
They ate the cake quickly, unfortunately forced to work by Alex's demand for excellence. As Jamie mopped the floor at the front of the station he smiled, truly touched by his friends.   
  
Maybe I didn't give them enough of a chance, Jamie thought, remembering how they skipped school and rallied for him at the trial and then held the 'Jamie Day' party.   
  
  
Notice of Hearing on Petition for Termination of Parent-Child Relationship   
"A failure to appear at the above-referenced hearing, or to otherwise notice the court in writing of good cause and inability to appear prior to the date of the hearing, will result in a judgement being entered against that parent. This means that the parent's rights to the above-named child will be terminated and the parent's child may be placed for adoption."  
- this is a paragraph from the newspaper for a child custody hearing (they are required to be printed somewhere within the paper). I only included the important paragraph as opposed to the entire thing. This chapter was written before I knew of this rule and I really don't want to change it because this is a *tad bit* more dramatic, but here is the correct information.  
  
A/n: *reference to Shattered by BE!  
**I don't know if custodial hearings of minors are public or private but for the sake of my story they are public.  
***EMTs do not have dress uniforms but my basic theory is if you have a regular uniform then you should have a dress uniform too (this from the girl who wore uniforms, including dress uniforms for about ½ of forever). 


	7. Pity for a Dime

Silent Heartbeats 7: Pity for a Dime  
By Maureen  
  
Disclaimer: still don't own the characters, don't own Little Shop of Horrors (but I did tech it in HS) and, yeah, I doubt I own the shirt I'm wearing. Poor, poor college students - I will gladly accept any 'donations' you'd like to give to the 'Send Maureen To College Fund' *insert picture of cute little me* . Thanks once again to my beta readers, Mad Cow and Be-A-Tle for poking me and saying "write the next chapter damnit!" so yeah, here it is. I haven't forgotten.  
  
***  
  
Jamie rode into the school parking lot dreading today's class. They would be spending the morning in regular classes at Bradford with students fluent in sign language. They were to try to follow and participate as much as possible in class in order to judge how much work they need to do. However, tonight was going to be interesting since he was going to see Catie in the Kingsport High School musical.  
  
As he walked into school he absently practiced the signs of mathematics and the different countries, his weak points. He stopped at his locker as usual, placing his saddlebag on the back hook and pulling out the books he would need later. Someone tapped his shoulder and he whirled around startled. Standing behind him was Jeremy and his little friends.   
  
*So, Doc, * Jeremy began, using the nickname he had bestowed upon Jamie, *Save any lives last night?*   
  
*Shove it, Jermy* Jamie signed back, glaring at him, using Jeremy's hate nickname. He attempted to close his locker and go to class but they refused to let him move, surrounding him.   
  
*No way, I want to know.* Jeremy continued. Jamie had dealt with his kind before, after all he had been friends with Kenny; however, this time it was different. This time Jamie was not about to be sucked into his asinine plots or his petty bullying. Unfortunately this usually meant that they tried to force him into submission so they could continue to terrorize the students. No one seemed to care.  
  
Jenny, his favorite teacher's aide, then intervened pushing the larger boys out of the way. *Break it up! No fighting!* she signed quickly, clearly mad at Jeremy. She sent everyone to class and made sure they actually went there before going into her own class room where Jamie was sitting in his customary seat pretending that nothing had transpired.  
  
*Care to explain, Mr. Waite?* she signed, looking at him.  
  
*They're creeps.* he shrugged, *I don't know why they get their kicks from harassing me.*  
  
Jenny pursed her lips thoughtfully, *I'm not going to tell anyone about this, but make sure it doesn't happen again.*  
  
Jamie gave her a halfhearted salute in the general direction of his forehead, certain that because of her intervention it would definitely be happening again.  
  
True to form they approached him once again at lunch. Sighing, Jamie stood up and picked up his lunch bag and can of Dr. Pepper* ready to walk away. Snorting he silently laughed at himself, the great James Waite, attempting to walk away from a fight. Two months ago he would have fought them and to hell with the detentions, now thanks to Alex's influence, his father and his psychologist he was walking away.   
  
"I don't want a problem, guys," Jamie said, forgetting to sign. He knew that most could read lips well enough to understand. He didn't mind eating alone, but at least they could leave him to eat in peace.   
  
*Well you've got a problem Waite!* Jeremy signed. Before anyone could make another move, Jamie turned and bolted across the small cafeteria and down the hall to his classroom. He sat on the windowsill and continued to eat his turkey and cranberry sandwich in peace, but was once again interrupted by his teacher coming in.   
  
*Jamie,* she signed surprised, *what are you doing here?*  
  
*I like the window,* Jamie signed back, knowing it was a lame excuse. It was also the best he knew how to say.  
  
*Those boys still trying to beat you up?* she asked, sitting on the desk next to him.   
  
*Yeah,* he replied, embarrassed. Sixteen years old and running from bullies. Of course, being friends with bullies had earned him nothing but trouble as well. It sucked, hardcore.  
When the lights flashed for class, he left and headed towards the class he was assigned to for the afternoon, a sophomore history class studying world history. He sat down at the table in the back with the other kids from his class he recognized and they waved. He said hello back and then class started. Jamie followed the signs intently, only understanding a few; most we made too quickly for him to follow. As soon as possible, he left with his classmates, two girls and another guy he did not know very well.   
  
Together they headed towards an algebra class. *That was hard!* the other guy said.  
  
*Yeah,* the two girls agreed, walking into the class. Jamie followed along, slightly behind them, not quite included in their group. Jamie simply daydreamed through this class; he did not understand any of it. It may as well have been in Chinese for all he knew.  
  
***  
  
Finally school was over and he headed over to Kingsport High School, Catie was in the school musical, Little Shop of Horrors and since he was off that night he was going to see her in it. She had only tried out for extra credit in her theater class, and had been quite surprised when she was cast as one of the muses, one of the best female roles in the show.  
  
He headed straight to the theater classroom where he found actors half in makeup and techies running around preparing for the show. Scanning the room, he finally spotted Catie at one of the boxes of makeup, beginning to apply her eyeliner. He headed over, "Hey Catie," he said.  
  
"Hum?" Catie asked, without looking up. Jamie bent down and touched her shoulder, marveling at its smoothness. Like most of the girls in the room, she was wearing only a small tank top, obviously without a bra and shorts with panty hose and socks. The guys were not wearing much more, opting only for sweat pants and socks. Her dark hair was pulled back into two tight French braids with her bangs pulled back with pins. She had makeup on already, covering her ears, neck and most of her chest and did not look like the Catie Jamie knew and loved.   
  
*Oh! Hey Jamie!* Catie looked up and smiled, gesturing for him to sit wherever there was space. *Hold on a minute* she expertly applied the eyeliner making the black lines thicker than usual. She looked back up looking a bit raccoonish. *Ignore the theater makeup, it's always odd.*  
  
Jamie simply watched her apply the rest of the makeup transforming herself from Catie into what he thought looked like a clown on acid. She took a paintbrush and red lipstick, what she said was 'ho red', and put tiny red dots in the inside corners of her eyes and then added green eye shadow. Finally she put on blush and 'whore red' lipstick. Jamie couldn't tell the difference between the two colours. When she finished he revised his initial description of her into 'Thin Mimi from the Drew Cary Show'. "Catie, is your makeup supposed to look like that?" Jamie asked, unsure.  
  
Catie quickly surveyed the other actresses in the room and nodded. Jamie noticed that they too had on the same odd makeup. The guys, Jamie saw with mild horror, were also putting on makeup, although they apparently were wearing what Catie called "flesh lipstick" and brown eye shadow. She left the room and came back a few minutes later in her first costume as one of the three muses from the show. It was a green sequined gown in a 1950's style. She carried the matching pumps and a wig. She sat down at a mirror and put the wig on, and began shoving bobby pins into it, completing the transformation from gothic warrior to a 50's R&B diva like the Supremes.   
  
Jamie walked up behind her remarking, "Wow."   
  
*I have to go now* she signed, before writing /it's time for vocal warm ups/ on Jamie's omnipresent pad of paper. *Come.*  
  
She dragged Jamie backstage and showed him where the band would be sitting and the set. It was a one story, moveable set composed primarily of painted flats. Jamie was impressed that the cast and crew had built it. Back stage he could see what appeared to be hundreds of techies dressed entirely in black running around. Catie quickly led him to the front of the stage where the cast was standing around a piano. She joined them and Jamie sat in the front row watching the chaos unfold. It was quite amazing actually, sweeping the stage, lights flashing, the band entered instruments in hand, and techies moving set around until it was perfect.  
  
Finally the cast and crew broke up from what Jamie assumed were vocal warm-ups and Catie signed to him to leave and go buy a ticket. He had to wait a few minutes by the ticket counter but he was the first to buy his ticket. He found a seat in the center of the second row where he would be able to see everybody and even perhaps hear some of the music. Finally the lights went down and the curtain, which had closed while he was gone, opened. There Catie was, and from his seat, looking nothing like a thin Mimi at all. She looked perfect.   
  
***  
  
Jamie followed the show as much as he could, but unfortunately did not understand what was going on. When intermission finally rolled around, he headed backstage to see Catie.   
  
*How do you like it?* Catie asked.  
  
*Um...I don't understand it.* Jamie admitted ruefully. *I like the plant though. And the doctor was funny.*  
  
*If you don't want to stay...* Catie didn't finish her sentence.   
  
*No, I said I'd see it and I will. I'm going to get a drink, now.* Jamie left so he would have enough time before intermission was over. While he was at the vending machines, Carlson walked over and joined him. "Mr. Carlson." Jamie said, in what he hoped was a level voice.  
  
"Jamie. I heard about what happened, I'm sorry." He said stiffly.  
  
"Figures." Jamie replied, leaving. As he walked away he said to himself, "idiot. I'm fucking deaf!!" he unintentionally said it louder than he thought he had and 'Maximum' Carlson heard every word. Mentally he kicked himself for being so stupid, no wonder he was accused of being out of touch with the students.  
  
"Jamie! Wait!" Carlson cried, catching up with the boy. Jamie didn't turn around. Finally Carlson tapped his shoulder and Jamie whirled around, confused. "I'm sorry, I forgot, I," Carlson babbled on to Jamie trying to apologize.   
  
Sighing, Jamie pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to the older man. "Here, write whatever you have to say down."  
  
Carlson pulled out a pencil and first apologized for forgetting and then expressed his sympathies. Jamie quickly read the paper and replied, "Thanks."  
  
/So, how're you doing at your new school?/  
  
"Alright. It's harder but less homework, emersion process to learn a new language. I need to go, the next act is about to begin." Jamie left before Carlson could respond, leaving all of his questions unasked.  
  
While they were speaking Carlson noticed the hearing aids and wondered why he had them if he couldn't hear with them, sighing he walked down the hall to the auditorium to finish the last half of the show.  
  
***  
  
Jamie left the auditorium, completely confused. What was up with that man-eating plant? Oh the other hand he decided that Catie looked hot in the show. He sat in the dressing room being ignored by everyone while he watched Actress-Catie transform herself back to Goth-Catie. It was interesting and looked like it required lots of practice.  
  
Once she was ready to go and the director had okayed the actors to leave they went out to Jamie's bike. Within minutes they were off heading towards Catie's house. Unlike many of the houses on the street, hers was ablaze with light pouring out of every window. He had never actually been in her house but knew that there were about 10 people living in it and it was cluttered to say the least. *I'll see you tomorrow* Catie signed, kissing him on the cheek.   
  
Jamie unintentionally flinched as her lips touched him, wishing he didn't flinch every time someone touched him. Damn his father and what he did to me, damn him, Jamie thought. *I'm sorry* Jamie signed, helplessly. He took her hand and held it lightly, knowing that if he initiated the contact he would not recoil, holding it as long as possible until their arms touched no more. She ran into the house waving over her shoulder.   
  
***  
  
Alex was already asleep when Jamie came in, so he tried to be as quiet as possible. Instead of going straight to sleep, he sat down in front of the computer in the living room and logged onto the internet. Catie was already logged onto AIM. Now, they could truly talk.  
  
Gothrebel: hey Jamie! You didn't understand the show?  
ProbEMT: Hey Catie. not really. What was it about?  
Gothrebel: the man-eating plant, Audrey 2 and the chaos it caused.   
ProbEMT: what was up with the psycho doctor?  
Gothrebel: he was a dentist and was a sadist. He dated the girl that the nerdy guy loved.  
ProbEMT: right, I knew the nerd guy loved the girl.  
Gothrebel: basically in the end the plant eats the flower shop man, the nerd, the dentist and the girl and takes over the world  
ProbEMT: heh, cool  
Gothrebel: I was a muse, designed to help carry along the plot. Well, it's late and I have another show tomorrow, will you pick me up afterwards? I want you to come to the cast party  
ProbEMT: I'll come to the show again, maybe understand it better. Sure, I'll take you anywhere you want, babe   
Gothrebel: night, Jamie!  
ProbEMT: bye  
  
With a smile, Jamie logged off and went to sleep himself, sleeping throughout the night for the first time in a couple weeks.   
  
***  
  
As he had promised, Jamie showed up in time for the show to start although because of work he did not get there early enough to go backstage beforehand. He took a seat in the middle again and was surprised to see Hank, Val and Tyler arrive with several other cheerleaders and football players.   
  
Tyler and Hank broke away from the group and headed over to the two seats next to Jamie. *Okay?* Tyler asked.   
  
"Sure," Jamie replied, somewhat surprised. They left the perfect people to sit with him?  
  
They sat, immediately clasping hands. Ah, no wonder. They were still in the closet with the rest of the team. Jamie just shook his head in amusement. They did make a good couple.  
  
At intermission Jamie got up to walk around and once again bumped into 'Maximum' Carlson. "Hello." Jamie replied neutrally. Maybe this time he would remember.  
  
Carlson waved back awkwardly. He didn't know sign and felt like he should talk to the former fixture in detention. He pulled out a piece of paper and wrote /back again Mr. Waite?/  
  
"Yeah. So? You can't give me detention anymore." Jamie's attitude kicked in, figuring he may try something like that.  
  
/You aren't a bad kid/  
  
"Yeah, now that I'm out of here. You certainly had a funny way of showing that I wasn't bad, giving Catie detention and me all the time! Just because we're different, because we think for ourselves -" before Jamie could finish, Tyler clamped his hand over Jamie's mouth and Hank steered his towards the men's room.  
  
"Sorry Mr. Carlson!" Hank called over his shoulder. Once inside the bathroom Jamie stopped trying to break away from Hanks grip.   
  
"What was that for?" he asked, angrily.  
  
/You were a little loud. And getting louder./ Tyler wrote.  
  
"I was?"  
  
*Yeah.* Hank replied, /you were making a scene. You need to control your voice./  
  
"How?" Jamie asked pointedly, tapping his finger against the hearing aid in his right ear.   
  
Hank and Tyler just looked at each other, eye brows raised. They didn't know. *sign* Hank finally replied. /Vent your frustrations at him through ASL. He may not understand every word but he could probably get the gist of it./  
  
"Fuck you." Jamie replied, pushing past them and out of the restroom. He headed back to his seat for the second act, leaving Hank and Tyler stunned.   
  
***  
  
After the show Jamie pretended as if nothing had happened during intermission and gave Catie a big hug and a single fire and ice rose. The bright pink represented her vivacious side and the white for her cool, 'bleacher junkie' side. As soon as she was dressed and out of makeup the duo headed over to the cast party, which was at the assistant directors house.   
  
To Jamie's elation there were no 'perfect people' in sight, only the bleacher junkies that had teched the show and the thespians, weird and wild by nature.   
  
Someone's heavy hand fell on Jamie's shoulder as he surveyed the room. From the front door he could see food in the kitchen, a group of thespians playing pool and many more gathered on the sofa and around the living room. Jamie turned to see who it was since he did not know many of the people. "Faustus!" he exclaimed, smiling.  
  
The slightly shorter techie god nodded and pushed his thick black-framed glasses higher on his nose. He pulled out a calculator and began to push buttons as only he could. When he was finished he handed the machine to Jamie, on the screen he had typed /thought you had given up on us/  
  
"No way man," Jamie replied, heading towards the sodas. "Just decided I needed a change of life."  
  
/You could've just bleached your hair. Didn't need to lose your hearing!/  
  
"You know me Faust, I can't do a half-assed job!" Despite their bantering, both knew they were treading on delicate ground. Edward Faustus had been in foster care since before Jamie had met him and had every imaginable torture inflicted upon him either by his parents or his foster families. He had retreated for years into his computers and machines shying away from human contact only emerging in the past several years. "Come on, let's listen to the music!"   
  
They duo took their drinks into the living room where Catie was sprawled on top of several thespians, seemingly comfortable. Jamie sat down near her by the stereo speakers. They were loud enough that he could feel the bass, which he was learning to be content to feel instead of hear.   
  
A/n: *you know what coke can do? Among other things it can eat a nail in 2 days and eat rust. And yet people still drink it...eeew.  
Turkey and cranberry sandwiches are my favorite! Especially on croissants.   
Red dots in the inner eye are called 'sparkle dots' and they make the actors and actresses eyes seems to sparkle under the stage lights. Up close they look silly.  



	8. Roses in the Moonlight

Silent Heartbeats 8: Roses in the Moonlight  
By Maureen  
  
Disclaimer: if you don't know this schpiel by heart...well, tough. You should.  
  
Jamie sat nervously in the captains' chair in the middle of the doctor's office. The doctor was fiddling about, looking in his ears and using some odd-looking equipment, putting tiny alien eggs in my brain Jamie thought.   
  
Finally he fitted the hearing aids back onto Jamie's ears, his adjustments finished. He was gradually turning the amplification up getting Jamie used to hearing again after so long. He still would not hear human voices, he most likely never would with the current technology, but he would be able to hear some.   
  
The doctor handed Jamie a set of headphones, which he obediently fitted over his ears. Raising his hand when he heard the noises, he marveled as he heard more than the last time. Finally the doctor pronounced them done, and before he could say anything more Jamie was already gone. He had a dance with his girl.  
  
***  
  
Catie nervously fiddled with her hair in front of the dresser mirror. Since she was one of two Roth girls going to the dance, she was forced to get ready in the bedroom instead of the bathroom. Her older sister, Rebecca had already claimed the bathroom.   
  
Up or down was the question of the moment. She didn't have the money to get her hair professionally done like she had hoped and still buy the dress. The dress won. "Caitlin, stop fussing, I'll do your hair!" Catie's mom cried, walking past the bedroom and seeing her daughter still indecisive. She worked as a hairdresser for a living and hated having to do her families hair but recognized she rarely had much choice. Money was tight and getting tighter as the kids became older and older.  
  
"Thanks, mom," she replied, following her mom down the hallway to her parents bedroom. In one corner was her father's desk and computer, peripherals and notes for partially coded software were littered about it. He was a computer programmer and frequently brought his work home.   
  
In the opposite corner was her mom's hair equipment. A large table with an even larger mirror in front of it. Hairspray, rubber bands and curling irons besieged the table, which Catie thought was brown wood but was not sure. She sat down in the chair in front of the table and her mother began to expertly comb through her daughters thick, dark hair. "I have the perfect idea," she said to Catie, pulling her hair up with bobby pins. She separated several of the shorter locks in front of Catie's face and several of the longer ones, leaving them to hang. Thirty minutes later she had transformed her daughter into a princess.   
  
"Oh, wow, Mom, thanks!" Catie cried, throwing her arms around her mother's neck.  
  
"De nada nina," her mom replied in her native tongue, Spanish. While they were not fluent in the language, all the Roth kids in middle or high school took it for their language.   
  
Catie hurried out of the room to finish getting dressed.  
  
***  
  
Jamie for his part was having a much less stressful time getting ready for the dance. Shave, spike hair, don tux, money in wallet, and keys to Alex's car, he was good to go.   
  
*Ready?* Alex asked, handing him several condoms.   
  
*Yeah,* Jamie replied, taking the proffered packages. "Um, Alex?" he held them awkwardly as if he was not sure if they would attack him or not.  
  
*Just in case. You know what I'd prefer, but I also know you're a teenager and I'd rather you be safe than sorry.*  
  
*Thanks.* Jamie placed one inside his wallet and left the others in the bedside drawer. Alex was taking Jamie's bike and spending the night at his sister's house, allowing Jamie and Catie some alone time after the dance. He had already laid down the ground rules though, no parties, no other people over and he was coming back at 10am the next day so she should be home by then as well.  
  
***  
  
Checking his appearance once more in the mirror, he thundered down the stairs where Alex was waiting on Jamie's bike. He was going to follow Jamie to Catie's house so they could take pictures before leaving.   
  
Jamie rang the doorbell nervously, hoping he looked all right. Alex was lurking behind him slightly out of sight as any nervous parent might before their child left for first big dance whilst in high school. Mrs. Roth opened the door, ushering both Jamie and Alex in. The trio stood there awkwardly, not quite knowing how to behave. After a few seconds Mrs. Roth turned towards the stairs and called up for Catie. While her back was turned Alex elbowed his ward in the ribs and jerked his head towards her. A blatant 'you have manners' gesture.  
  
"Ma'am, I'm Jamie Waite," Jamie said carefully. More and more frequently had he been admonished to watch how loud he spoke. He held out his hand, "Pleased to meet you."  
  
"Graciela Roth," she replied, shaking his hand. Although she had never met her daughters' best friend and now boyfriend she had heard about him as she discussed him on the phone with her friend Val. Nothing was private in the Roth household. She had wondered how this dance idea would work since he was deaf, but was willing to give anything a shot once.   
  
"I'm Dr. Alex Freeman," Alex said, introducing himself. "Jamie lives with me."  
  
Before anyone could continue with the pleasantries, Catie descended the stairs, her purple dress capturing everything perfectly. Her hair was rolled into a simple French twist, but like most things with Catie, nothing was truly simple. Tiny strands of silver were threaded into the tiny braids at the crown of her hair before being pulled into the twist. Several strands of hair were loose, curly seductively around her face. She had a purple and black choker on, accenting her neck and carried a silver purse. On later inspection Jamie noticed tiny black and silver roses were entwined down the length of the twist in subtle elegance.   
  
When she reached the ground floor, Jamie handed her the bouquet of white roses he had bought on the way to her house, in the middle of the bouquet was a black, silk rose, something to remember the night by forever that would not fade or wilt. She accepted them with a smile, *thank you.*  
  
Alex took nearly a roll of pictures of the couple, beaming like a proud parent. It was ironic, Jamie thought, nearly six months ago he wanted to get rid of me faster than lice, now he's proud of me.  
  
Just as they were finishing their photos, Rebecca's date arrived, a boy Jamie vaguely recognized from the Kingsport high football team and Mrs. Roth made the new couple begin the pictures giving Jamie and Catie a chance to escape. They had decided to forgo dinner and head straight for the dance.  
  
***  
  
The gym pulsated with music. In the center was the dance floor where it seemed as if the entire school was trying to move in a mass orgy to the music without actually touching anyone else. Jamie and Catie headed towards the wooden bleachers where Val was sitting.   
  
Val waved when she spotted Val and Jamie, flagging them over. Jamie waved and sat down with Catie between him and Val. He watched the people, determined to have a good time at the dance. Catie tapped his arm and pointed at the snack table, Hank and Tyler were talking with Heather and her date, a nameless senior who posed for magazines. They were perfect for each other and Jamie laughed as Hank rolled his eyes heavenward.   
  
*Jamie, dance?* Catie asked once a slow song came on. He really didn't want to but knew he should.   
  
"Sure," he replied, nodding. They stood up and Jamie led her to the dance floor. She laid her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him, his arms around her waist. Then, to Jamie's surprise, she began to lead them, subtly so no one would realize it.   
  
He followed her around, as they swayed to the music. "I love you," Jamie said softly once the song had ended.   
  
*I love you too* Catie replied. Jamie went back to the bleachers, too self-conscious to dance a fast dance, but Val was dancing with Hank and Catie with Tyler. Anything so Hank and Tyler could be a couple but not be openly gay. When the next slow song came on, Catie rejoined him, signing *ask Val to dance!*   
  
*What? Val?*   
  
*Yes, Val! Go!* Catie signed back, hoping he would do it. She needed a good, friendly dance with no strings attached.   
  
Jamie stood up and walked over to Val, "Would you like to dance?" he asked. Secretly he hoped he sounded like James Bond.   
  
Val smiled and took his arm. They swayed to the music, Val leading as well. This was confusing Jamie although he appreciated it. Why were the girls leading the guys? When the song ended they joined Catie and headed towards the snack table.   
  
*So, why did you and Val lead?* Jamie asked.   
  
*Because it's hard for you too. I figured you'd be nervous already.*   
  
*I love you Catie* Jamie signed, kissing her quickly on the cheek. If he initiated the contact he didn't flinch away.   
  
***  
  
Kenny had seen Jamie dancing and carrying on with Catie the entire night. How dare he, Kenny thought, he left. He should stay gone.   
  
When they decided to get some refreshments he made his move. Tapping the darker man on the shoulder, Kenny too the opportunity to punch him in the jaw. Jamie stumbled back not even seeing who hit him.   
  
Immediately the crowd parted to give the two fighters room and the dance floor was abandoned as the chant of 'fight, fight, fight' emerged. Jamie stood up, prepared to walk away when Catie stepped in the middle, yelling at Kenny to back down. Kenny just pushed her out of the way, she fell into the knees of the other students.  
  
"I don't know what you're trying to do Kenny, but leave me out of it!" Jamie warned, not wanting to fight. He'd had enough fighting.  
  
"Little deaf James doesn't want to fight, huh?" Kenny taunted, circling, trying to punch him occasionally.  
  
Jamie countered the punches before deciding enough was enough. He attacked Kenny, tackling him, punching him mercilessly. That's when Carlson showed up. He waded into the fight pulling Jamie off of Kenny. He dragged them both outside and Catie followed behind after reassuring Val that she wasn't hurt.   
  
"Miss Roth!" Carlson said, after making sure Kenny and Jamie would not attack each other again. "Care to explain this since I'm sure you were in the middle of it?"  
  
"Jamie and I were getting some punch, Kenny came up and punched Jamie. I don't know why."  
  
"Kenny?" Kenny sat there sullenly. "Jamie?"   
  
Then Carlson remembered he was deaf. He motioned for Jamie to explain his side.   
  
"We went to get punch and Kenny punched me. I didn't want to fight him but he knocked Catie down, I couldn't not fight after he did that."  
  
"I've heard enough. Kenny, you are suspension from all school activities and three days from school. Mr. Waite, I don't want to see you at a school function or on campus here for the rest of the school year. Understand?" Kenny nodded, uncaring. "James?"   
  
"Hello! Earth to Carlson, I'm deaf!" Jamie called out. What a moron. He fished his pad of paper out of his pocket and a pen, handing them both to Carlson with a look of utter exasperation, this was the fourth time he had forgotten in two weeks!   
  
Carlson quickly wrote his punishment on the paper and handed it too him making sure he understood it. Jamie crumpled the paper in his pocket and walked away with Catie, heading back to his apartment...home. Alex's apartment was his home he realized with a start.  
  
A/n: I don't know the names of Catie's family, so I named them whatever I pleased. Nya nya nya J also, in the spirit of having mixed nationalities I made Catie's mom Hispanic.   
1). Deaf people can drive. I have 1 friend ½ deaf and 1 friend who is, both drive (cars and me up the wall!) 


	9. Dragon Slayer

Silent Heartbeats 9: Dragon Slayer   
By Maureen  
  
Disclaimer: The song Dragonslayer is by Audra and the Antidote and they own it. They wrote it. Disney owns Jamie and Catie much to my dismay.  
  
A/n: well...hum. How do I put this? There is No Sex in Jamie's Room, lots of mook though. No sex, just lots of het-mook (apologies to Chris Rock and my bastardization of his song No Sex in the Champagne Room).   
  
***  
  
Jamie lay in bed after the dance, Catie curled up against his side, her head on his chest, asleep. He could feel the steady rise and fall of her chest next to him, slow and rhythmic. He rested his hand on her smooth stomach, keeping her as close to him as she could be. He brushed an errant lock of hair out of her face, she did not so much as twitch.   
  
He slowly fell asleep, marveling at how wonderful his life had become the past several months. Catie, guardianship being given to Alex, he was doing well in school, working at the station, unfortunately it had taken a disaster to improve it so significantly. Such was life. As he slept he dreamed, lucid, terrifyingly real images flooding his subconscious, he began to toss and turn.   
  
From deep within his nightmare Jamie did not notice Catie wake, wondering what was happening. She saw his eyes were clenched shut as tight as possible, tiny beads of sweat were on his brow. "No!" Jamie cried out as loud as he could, screaming over and over uncontrollably.   
  
"Jamie!" Catie cried, now completely awake, "Wake up!" she touched his shoulder, eyes widening as he jerked away from her touch. Catie climbed out of bed turning on the lights. She grabbed Jamie in a bear hug, attempting to restrain him as he thrashed about, his strength easily breaking her grip. She continued to try to wake him, unsure how to since he could not hear her.   
  
You slay my dragons while I sleep  
You clear the cobwebs that I keep  
You light my soul when it's dark inside  
You aren't afraid of what you'll find  
  
After what seemed an eternity Jamie awoke, wild eyed, he jumped out of bed, and ran into the kitchen expecting to find Alex there with some orange juice waiting in a glass. He was always there after a bad dream, juice in hand. Catie followed him to the kitchen, wondering what he was doing.   
  
Jamie looked around as he realized where he was and what was going on. He whirled around, the last vestiges of sleep vanishing from his mind, "Catie!" Jamie cried, embarrassed. He was still breathing heavily, and was trying as hard as he could not to cry.   
  
*Are you okay?* Catie signed, despite the darkness of the room the moonlight was enough to see by.  
  
Jamie sat down at the table, defeated. He'd had an episode in front of the girl he loved. On the first night they had slept together no less. There was no dignity left to restore in Jamie's mind.   
  
*How often does that happen?* Catie asked, sitting with him, his hand in hers.  
  
"Maybe, once a month. I have bad dreams several times a week, but rarely one that bad."  
  
*Your father?* she asked, hoping she wasn't prying too much or making the already awkward situation more so.  
  
"Yeah." Jamie stood up and poured a couple glasses of orange juice, downing his quickly. It was amazing how addicting the pulpy liquid could be. After Catie had finished hers Jamie headed back to his room, bare feet padding softly on the wooden floor.   
  
He climbed back into bed, Catie with him. She held him, snuggling, protecting him. She didn't force him to speak of his inner demons, she already knew what they were. She didn't think that by voicing them they would go away. She just thought that if she held him and rubbed his back he'd relax and perhaps realize she wasn't going to let anyone hurt him again. No one would.  
  
You're the bravest woman  
That I've ever known  
In valor and in honor  
you stand alone  
when you come into my life  
with your shining armor  
I let you into my lair  
to be my Dragonslayer  
  
Within minutes Jamie's breathing slowed down, signaling that he had fallen asleep once again. She leaned back gently on the pillows, still holding Jamie. She kissed his cheek before dozing off herself.   
  
Now all the demons in my head  
Have all given up their reign and fled  
Now in the corners where they once dwelt  
stands a fortress of strength  
that you have built   
You've given more  
than I could ever return  
So take my heart as your reward  
and know, my love,  
that you'll always be  
my greatest treasure to me  
  
Jamie woke up early, as the warm pillow he was on shifted slightly. Pillows weren't supposed to move on their on volition. He opened his eyes and saw his so-called was in fact Catie. He sat up a bit, unintentionally waking her as he did.   
  
Her eyes opened instantly, thinking he had woken because of a dream yet again. Catie quickly saw that everything was all right, Jamie leaning over her, simply looking at her. "Good morning." He said.  
  
*Good morning* she signed, *are you alright?*  
  
*I love you. Thank you.* Jamie laid back down Catie's head once again on his chest. He lightly stroked her bare back, letting her know that while he wasn't all right, she had helped him and he loved her. This was not a time for talk, silent talk or aloud.   
  
You're the bravest woman  
That I've ever known  
In valor and in honor  
you stand alone  
when you come into my life  
with your shining armor  
I let you into my lair  
to be my Dragonslayer  
  
He rolled slightly, onto his side so they would both be comfortable. He kissed her softly on the lips, no talking necessary. She responded in turn. The condoms lay unopened in the drawer. 


	10. Freak

Silent Heartbeats 10: Freak  
By Maureen  
  
To everyone that thinks they know where I am going: I doubt you know - mainly because I don't! Also, Jamie and Catie did not have sex. I tried to show that 50 billion different ways "there is no sex in Jamie's room" "the condoms were not used" etc etc etc, you can sleep with a person and not have sex!!!!!  
  
***  
  
Dr. Freeman,  
  
I'm not interested in where my father is or where James is. I left Kingsport and am not going to return.  
  
Peter Waite Jr.  
  
Alex Freeman read the email again, wondering how a family could be so uncaring for each other. Jamie had said that he had no idea where his mother was and thought his brother was at the local university a few hours away but wasn't sure. Standing up, he decided it was time for a break from the monotony of paperwork.  
  
Glancing in the common room he saw that nobody was there nor any noise being made to show where they were, which was uncommon for the squad. In fact, they all seemed to be missing; even Jamie wasn't around, although his hearing aids were on the coffee table.   
  
It wasn't like Hank or Val to simply leave like this. Finally he decided to look in the garage. It was open as usual, but the spare ambulance was in the driveway. Alex stood in the garage door shocked at the scene in front of him. Jamie was wearing black board shorts and Brooke was in a blue one-piece bathing suit washing the ambulance, enjoying the first warm day of spring.   
  
Not noticing Alex, Brooke took the hose and sprayed Jamie with water, causing him to yell and run towards her like a maniac, his spiky hair falling flat on his forehead. He grabbed her like a wrestler picking her up high. She squealed but was obviously not in any danger. The on duty squad was sitting a little ways away in the grass staying dry and watching the antics.  
  
Hank noticed Alex first and stood up, offering to go pick up lunch for everybody. Alex agreed and sent Tyler and Hank in the other ambulance to the local rotisserie place to pick up food. Fast food was tiresome and Alex thought a picnic would be nice, especially since they weren't the primary station on call.   
  
"Oh! Alex!" Brooke cried, finally noticing her boss. She turned the hose off and stopped spraying Jamie. "I'm sorry, it's just..."  
  
"It's okay Brooke. Just water," he told the 12 yr old girl. "But why don't you get less on Jamie and more on the ambulance?"  
  
"Sure." She replied, motioning that the hose needed to the sprayed on the ambulance for Jamie. He nodded his understanding and slopped more soap on the side.   
  
In the nearly three months since Jamie had come to live with Alex he had undergone massive changes. He was doing his homework regularly and making good grades on his tests and was quickly becoming fluent in sign language. He and Catie would be taking an advanced class that summer to gain proficiency. Catie, Alex thought, smiling slightly. She had become almost a permanent fixture at their apartment often eating dinner with them or practicing signs with Jamie. Or making out, but Alex wasn't supposed to know that, although he did. Jamie was still making regular trips to his therapist but his night terrors were becoming less and less frequent, as were his nightmares. Overall, life was good.   
  
"So, Val," Alex said, joining her on the grass, "enjoying your spring break?"  
  
"Yeah," she replied, smiling. "School's been getting tedious."  
  
"I can imagine. It's nice to sleep late too."  
  
"Yeah," she agreed, tucking an errant blonde lock behind her ear. She was trying to grow it longer. "So how's Jamie doing? We never talk anymore."  
  
"He's doing alright, it's slow. Catie's been helping a lot," Alex hadn't cared much for the girl when he had first met her, but was amazed by her persistence and underlying good heart. He would never have guessed Catie was such a caring person.   
  
"He's all she talks about. She's so madly in love with him, but is afraid she's going to hurt him more, you know?"   
  
"Yeah, she's talked to me about it. Not much anyone can do." The duo sat in silence for several more minutes watching Brooke and Jamie finish drying the ambulance. Jamie was lifting Brooke up to dry the parts they couldn't reach.   
  
When they finished they joined Val and Alex in the grass to wait for their lunch. "I'm hungry," Jamie complained with a smile. "I've been working hard."  
  
"Or hardly working!" Val pitched in, gesturing to the soaking wet duo. Brooke stuck her tongue out at her older sister and retrieved her t-shirt and Jamie's t-shirts from the garage. She pulled it over her head covering her bathing suit and board shorts.   
  
Jamie caught the t-shirt when Brooke threw it, right on his face. He pulled it off his face and used it as a towel to dry his hair a bit, his hair spiking naturally with the water. Tyler and Hank drove back up then with the food. *What?* Jamie asked, not realizing they were gone.  
  
*Food,* Alex signed back, as Brooke and Val helped carry the bags to the grass for an impromptu picnic. The dispatcher would alert them to a call.   
  
Jamie didn't pay much attention to anyone as he ate. They had brought back an array of food, two chickens, macaroni and cheese, green beans, mashed potatoes, glazed apples plus biscuits and gravy, etc. A perfect picnic on a perfect day.   
  
Val tapped him on the shoulder, interrupting his attempts to devour the cinnamon apples, *What's new?* she signed slowly, trying to draw him into the conversation.  
  
"Not much. Same shit, different day," Jamie replied, smiling. Before anyone else could say anything, Alex began to sign furiously at Jamie, obviously mad.  
  
"But -", Jamie began, but soon, he too was signing rapidly, the duo moving too fast for anyone else to follow. "Yes sir."   
  
"Did I miss something here?" Hank asked.  
  
"Jamie needs to watch his language, at least while he's at work." Alex said, indicating that he could speak almost however he pleased at other times.   
  
Jamie just rolled his eyes and reached for a piece of the cherry pie for dessert.   
  
***  
  
A few hours later everyone had left except Jamie and Alex. Jamie was sweeping the front entryway to the station while he waited for Alex to finish his paper work. Catie walked in, tucking a lock of hair behind her ears.   
  
*Hey Jamie.* she greeted him, kissing him lightly on the lips.   
  
*Hey yourself.* he replied, propping the broom up against the wall. *What's up?*  
  
*Not much,* she replied, *flunked a math exam, but that's nothing new.*  
  
*Have you started thinking about college yet? You're going to be a senior soon.* Jamie and Catie walked into the common room and sat down to talk, they hadn't seen each other in almost a week due to school and conflicting schedules. It was only a few weeks before school ended for the summer.  
  
*And you'll be a sophomore, again.* Catie said, almost hesitantly. This was not a comfortable topic for her. On the one hand they were the same age, but on the other, he was two grades below her.  
  
"Yeah," Jamie replied, softly. "So?"  
  
*Nothing. Nothing at all. I had fun after the dance,* Catie signed, smiling. Even though it was nearly two weeks earlier, the memories were still at the forefront of her mind, causing her to smile all the time.  
  
*I wanted to say thanks.* Jamie said, a seeming non sequitur.  
  
*For what?*  
  
*For not, you know...having sex. It would have been the wrong time.* Jamie signed awkwardly, his nervousness obvious.  
  
*It's okay,* Catie replied, not mad at all. With the night terrors and stress, he didn't need anything that could even possibly upset him more. As pleasurable as making love might be, neither was ready for it. *Maybe one day, and if not, well, a relationship isn't based on sex.*  
  
Catie leaned forward and kissed him once again. "I can't do this and sign you know," Jamie murmured softly.   
  
Catie kissed him again, and Jamie wrapped his arms around her, signing forgotten.   
  
"Excuse me, love birds," Alex said, interrupting their make-out session on the couch. Both immediately blushed scarlet, the cliché scene playing out true to form.  
  
*Time to go," Alex signed, tapping his watch. *Catie, will you come to dinner?*  
  
*Sure, Alex," Catie replied, *let me call my parents.*  
  
A few minutes later the trio had piled into Alex' car and were headed over to the local Olive Garden. Alex refused to cook on the weekends so they frequently went out for dinner or Jamie cooked. Not that he was able to cook much that was eatable, everything was edible, but whether a person would eat it or not willingly was not happening.   
  
They ate their meal fairly quickly, enjoying the unlimited soup, salad and breadsticks. To the casual observer it appeared to be a man out with his two teenage kids. Alex paid the check and they headed back out to the parking lot. As they left a middle-aged couple was also exiting. Alex held the door for them politely and didn't notice when the woman's wallet fell out of her purse. Jamie picked it up off the pavement and he and Catie followed the couple to return it while Alex headed towards his car.   
  
"Excuse me, ma'am," Jamie called out, trying to catch up to the couple, they were speed walking in the darkened parking lot and making it difficult for the couple to catch them.  
  
"Ma'am!" Catie called out, helping, "you dropped your wallet!"  
  
Finally they reached their car as the older couple were getting in. "Ma'am," Jamie said, "you dropped your wallet," he held out the bulging leather billfold to her.  
  
"You stole my wallet!" the woman shrieked, becoming hysterical. She quickly opened it, ignoring the protests of both Jamie and Catie, "There's a twenty missing from here!"  
  
Catie quickly translated for the woman.  
  
"No ma'am, I didn't take it! It fell out!" Jamie protested, a sense of déjà vu washing over him. This same scene had occurred only months before with a patients wallet. "I didn't steal your money!"  
  
"Punks! I'm calling the police, don't go anywhere!" The man snarled, mumbling to himself about the youth of today.  
  
"Shut up the both of you!" Jamie yelled. They quieted. "Now, don't say a word! Lady, I don't know what preconceived misconceptions you have, but your wallet fell out and I returned it, without taking your money. Don't bother with your lame excuses or stereotyping of me, I can't hear it and I don't want to! Just remember this lesson: not all punks or Goths are bad. In fact, most of us aren't!" Jamie grabbed Catie's hand and turned, leaving the couple stunned.   
  
As Jamie and Catie left they could hear Jamie ranting about what had just occurred. Jamie's EMT badge fell out of his pocket onto the ground near the car and the woman picked it up, still not quite believing what had occurred. "'James Waite,'" she read aloud. "'EMT, station 42.'"  
  
Jamie was shaking with rage over what had just occurred. Catie related the tale to Alex who replied, "No offense, but with the current stereotypes it's not a far fetched conclusion. Look at why Jamie is an EMT."  
  
Both Jamie and Catie glared at him but didn't reply, having to concede the truth. Later that night, he fell into bed, exhausted, not noticing his missing badge.  
  
***  
  
The next morning, Jamie was back at the station working on unloading the current shipment in the garage when the lady from the night before walked in. "Excuse me," she said to the first person she saw, Tyler, "I'm looking for James Waite? is it?"   
  
"Oh! You mean, Jamie, he's in the garage. I'll show you where it is." Tyler led her back to the garage, where Jamie was wearing his uniform pants and his 'disobey' shirt. He was stacking boxes that had already been inventoried onto the dolly to move them back into the storage room.   
  
*Hey,* Tyler signed, tapping him on the shoulder. *This woman wants to see you.*  
  
Jamie instantly recognized her as the woman at the restaurant and his eyes narrowed, thinking she was going to slap a lawsuit or some other nonsense on him. "Yes?" he asked.   
  
"I'm Anna Hackberry," she said, holding her hand out. "I don't believe we were properly introduced last night."  
  
"Jamie Waite," he replied, shaking it briefly. "Um, before this becomes really embarrassing, you should know that I'm deaf."   
  
"Oh, I -" Mrs. Hackber became flustered, not sure how to act anymore.  
  
"Write what you want to say on here." He handed her a pad of paper and a pen.   
  
/I wanted to apologize for what I said last night and the money, none was taken./ although, she thought, if she had known he hadn't heard her she would never have come!  
  
Jamie shrugged. "It happens a lot. I should be used to it by now."  
  
/This is not the first time you've been falsely accused?/  
  
"Third false since August I think. Second involving a wallet." Jamie said soberly. He omitted the one positive accusation that he was put on probation for. "But thanks for coming down here to apologize."  
  
She fished through her purse and pulled out her wallet. She opened it and handed Jamie his badge back that he had dropped as well as $20. /You dropped your badge and I owe you this. I immediately jumped to conclusions./  
  
"Thank you," Jamie replied, taking his badge back and clipping it to his pants. He had wondered where it had gone once he had woken up but had figured it was in his locker and never went to look. "but I can't accept your money. It's against the rules."  
  
/Were you on duty last night?/ Jamie shook his head in reply. /then take it. I won't tell./   
  
Jamie accepted the money and stuffed it into his pocket. "Thank you. I, ah, hope you won't instantly judge people by their appearances anymore."  
  
/never again/ the woman replied. She turned to leave, waving good-bye over one shoulder. Jamie waved back, hoping that she had learnt her lesson.   
  
  
A/N: ha!! They did not have sex people and if Catie's pregnant it is not Jamie's doing!!! So ha ha ha!!! And if she is, well, I'm not writing that fic!!! I also love the Olive Garden, it is one of the best restaurants ever! 


	11. Jamie's World

Silent Heartbeats 11: Jamie's World  
By Maureen  
  
I just want to thank everyone who reviews practically every chapter and I'm trying to hit the 200-review mark!!! I'm almost ¾ of the way there!  
  
***  
  
*Hey,* Alex signed to Jamie, taking a break from making up the schedule for the station, *Why didn't you tell me that you have a field trip coming up?*   
  
*Oh, I wasn't planning on going. So why bother?* Jamie dog-eared the book he was reading. He was acquiring so many books that Alex had bought a small bookshelf for the living room to house them.  
  
*Why not?* Alex asked, concerned.  
  
"It's the symphony! Why would a deaf school bring kids to the symphony?" Jamie replied aloud, bitterly. He hated what had been done to him and was constantly reminded of it.  
  
*There is more to it than the music,* Alex replied. *When your teacher called asking if you were going, I said you were.*  
  
"What? Alex!" Jamie exclaimed, half surprised and half angry.  
  
*Jamie, it's a field trip. You're supposed to be happy. I've even given you the night off.*  
  
"How nice," Jamie commented dryly. With a sign he picked up the remote for the TV and began to idly flip the channels. How could Alex or the school for that matter, thrust music in his face?  
  
***  
  
*Hey,* Faustus signed the next day, when Jamie walked into his bedroom. Faustus' room was the epitome of Faustus and all that encompassed being Faustus. Whatever color the walls were supposed to be was covered by posters of mostly naked women and beer posters. If Jamie hadn't known better, he would have thought he was in a dorm!  
  
One wall held a bed, the sheets never made up properly. The second wall was dominated by his massive techno-doodads. That's what Jamie called them anyways. Faustus called it his domain. Two computer monitors, one running off windows and one running off Unix, a scanner and printer, an external zip drive was duct taped to the tower of the windows CPU and a stereo system composed an almost solid wall of electronics. The third wall held his television and VCR and the dozens of gaming systems. Jamie could see an NES, SNED, X-Box, and N64, Play station and several he couldn't readily identify. Cartridges and floppy disks were littered about the floor engaging in a battle against the used soda cans for domination of the floor.   
  
"What're you playing?" Jamie asked, noticing the paused TV screen.  
  
/Mario 3/ Faustus wrote, and handed the spare controller to his friend. It was a secret shared by the two friends, they only truly enjoyed playing the older games from SNES and NES systems although they tolerated the newer consoles.   
  
Jamie picked up the second controller and pushed some of the crap out of his way so he could sit. Faust restarted the game and the two friends played in silence for nearly two hours. Jamie smiled slightly to himself, finally feeling normal. This was the only time he felt normal anymore, just two guys playing Nintendo, no words necessary.   
  
***  
  
*Oh, come on Jamie! Grow up!* Catie signed, sarcastically. She couldn't believe he was being such a baby!  
  
*Why should I then?* he asked her, pouting.   
  
*Have you ever been?* she countered,  
  
*No. And I'm not going now.*  
  
*If I go will you go?* Catie tried a different tactic. All this over a stupid field trip!  
  
"Yeah," Jamie mumbled. He was going to get even with her. Girlfriend or not, he should not have to be bullied on all sides like this!  
  
*I'll pick you up at 6:00pm tomorrow then? That way we can be at your school in time?*  
  
"Yeah, sure, whatever. Will your mom let you have the car?"   
  
*Yeah. I've already got permission.* Catie glanced at her watch, *I need to get going, I have to go run errands! See you tomorrow!*  
  
They kissed quickly and Catie left the apartment to go find a dress for the symphony. She couldn't believe he was making such a huge production over going to the symphony. What was the big deal?  
  
***  
  
Jamie rummaged around in Alex's medicine cabinet, certain that there were extra razor blades somewhere in there. Finally he found some stashed in the back, next to a package of earplugs.   
He had found his revenge.   
  
He quickly finished getting ready, dropping the ear plugs in his pocket. Revenge was best served silent. Soon, Catie had let herself into the apartment to pick Jamie up. *Ready?* he signed.   
  
*Waiting for you,* she replied. They quickly left, with Jamie giving her directions to the school.   
  
When the arrived at the parking lot, Jamie pulled the earplugs out. "Here, put these in."  
he told her. "Tonight, you're living in my world."  
  
*What?* she signed confused. Realization quickly dawned, her eyes widening. She wasn't sure if he was serious or not. He looked serious. *To prove this will suck?* she asked.  
  
"Yup," he looked way too smug.   
  
Catie sighed, taking the small foam capsules gingerly. She pulled her long hair away from her ears and put them in gingerly. *Happy?*  
  
*Yes, let's go.* Jamie stepped out of the car and guided Catie over to his classmates, all of whom were signing ferociously. Jamie joined in as soon as he got there. She watched their hands and realized how stupid she must seem to him. How slow. She could only catch one out of every two or three words they were making.   
  
*This is my girlfriend, Catie,* Jamie introduced her, making the words faster than she had ever seen him. *We're signing way too fast for her.*  
  
Jamie's classmates waved hello, and she replied back, unsure of herself suddenly. Thankfully though, the chaperones began to distribute the tickets and everyone piled into the cars to caravan to the show.  
  
***  
  
Everyone from the Bradford school was seated in the first two rows closest to the stage, Jamie and Catie were sitting in the second row center. One of the teachers would be signing as the translator for the conductor.   
  
Slowly, the musicians took their places, talking to each other and warming up before the show started. Finally, the lights dimmed and the woman playing first chair violin walked on stage and bowed before taking her seat. After her came the conductor and the translator.   
  
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen," the conductor began. Catie could see his lips move much heard nothing. She turned and paid attention to the translator, ignoring the conductor completely.   
  
*Tonight we have the Bradford School for the Deaf visiting us and hope they, as well as everyone else, has a wonderful time.*   
  
Turning her attention back to the conductor, he lifted his baton and the music started. Simply watching the musicians was beautiful to Catie, the graceful movements and their focus.   
  
Jamie was enraptured, he could feel the music, the vibrations in the air. Combining that with the movements of the musicians, he never dreamed the symphony could be this mesmerizing.   
  
At the intermission, Catie and Jamie had gone outside to the lobby to talk and stretch their legs.   
  
*Wasn't that amazing!* Jamie signed, forgetting that he was supposed to be hating the symphony.  
  
*Oh, yeah,* Catie agreed, *We should bring Val here sometime, or the boys.*  
  
*As a group? That'd be cool.* the lights dimmed, signaling to all that intermission was about to be over.   
  
*I'll be right back, going to run to the bathroom,* Catie said, dashing off. As much as she was enjoying the symphony, she wanted to hear the music too. In the bathroom she quickly took the earplugs out and put them in her purse, before running back to her seat.   
  
The second act was better than the first if that was possible. The upbeat and intricate music was interesting and beautiful.   
  
After the show Jamie and Catie decided to go get dessert instead of heading out with the other kids. They were walking to her car when another couple in their mid forties stopped them.   
  
"Excuse me?" the man said, "I locked my keys in the car, do you have a cell phone so we can call triple A?"  
  
"No, but we might be able to jimmy the lock," Catie replied, quickly signing for Jamie. He was the one who would be able to do it, not her.   
  
He quickly took the keys from her and headed a few cars over, retrieving a metal coat hanger from the back of the station wagon. No one was quite sure why it was there but it had never left.   
"You're from the deaf school?" the woman asked, enunciating slowly.   
  
"No, I go to Kingsport HS, my boyfriend goes to Bradford." Catie told them, trying not to laugh as the man turned pink with embarrassment. "But if anyone can open your door, he can."  
  
Jamie returned with the coat hanger and began to expertly untwist so it would be useful. He inserted it between the window and the car carefully, wiggling it around.  
  
While he was working the couple was quizzing Catie. "So he's deaf?"  
  
"Yeah," Catie replied.   
  
"So why did you go to the symphony?"  
  
"His school fieldtrip. And the big baby didn't want to go. But it was amazing, we both loved it."   
  
"Got it!" he announced, not realizing that they had been talking about him. He pulled the coat hanger out and opened the door with a flourish.  
  
"How did you learn that?" the man asked, forgetting that Jamie couldn't hear him.  
  
Catie quickly translated it. Jamie laughed, "Lot's of practice," he replied. "you just have to catch the lock just right."  
  
"Thank you," the woman replied, getting into the car.   
  
"No problem," the couple replied, heading over to their own car.  
  
A/n: sorry it took so long, been busy! But man - Jamie and Catie sure have interesting adventures in dark parking lots! 


	12. Hamlet

Silent Heartbeats 12: Hamlet  
By Maureen  
  
standard disclaimers apply. see store for details.  
  
***  
  
Peter -   
  
He's your brother! How can you be so callus? He needs you. Come down one weekend, you can stay with us; I'll pick you up if necessary. How about the weekend after this? I know finals will be over then and it will Jamie's last week of school. Call me: 859-668-1547   
  
Alex Freeman  
  
***  
  
Alex signed off the computer, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Three weeks of school left. Nearly a semester of having a 'son' and still no sign of any of Jamie's real father. Every time he thought of that bastard he just wanted to hit him. No one should treat people the way he did.   
  
"Hey, Alex, here's the paper you wanted," Jamie said, handing him the stack of printer paper.   
  
*Thanks, * he replied. It was amazing. He had said that he was going to succeed on the team just to prove to Alex that he could. And Alex had done everything in his power to get rid of him, find him not competent enough. And Jamie had triumphed. Proven Alex wrong about him time and again. Then Alex had an idea. *Have any plans this weekend? *  
  
*No, I'm not working or anything. No final projects or anything. Probably hang with Catie; she wants to rent a video. * The unspoken ending 'because there is no closed captioning on movies'.   
  
*Want to take a road trip? *  
  
"Where?" Jamie asked out loud. His natural reactions were still vocal.   
  
*Athens, Georgia. * Alex replied. It was about 5hrs away, no problem. *We'll go tomorrow morning. *  
  
"Sounds like fun." Jamie said, leaving the small office. He had no clue what the significance of Athens, Georgia was, if anything, but he'd never been to Georgia at all. Besides, he was a teenager, the liking of road trips was in the 'How to be a Teenager' handbook.  
  
***  
  
"So Alex is dragging you on a road trip?" Catie said into the telephone. They had recently begun to use the relay service and TTY and although it was slow and somewhat cumbersome, they had more privacy. Catie idly doodled on a piece of paper while she waited for the operator to type her reply to Jamie.   
  
The way the relay system worked was simple. Either Catie or Jamie could call the relay operator on a special number and ask to be connected to the other number. Jamie's phone was now connected to a TTY, a text telephone device, and he would speak into the phone to Catie and the operator would type Catie's words back to Jamie.   
  
"Yeah, I'll be back Sunday night. It's not as bad as you're making it out." Jamie said, "I've never been to Georgia."  
  
"You've never been out of Virginia before!" Catie reminded him.  
  
"I know. I need to go now. Alex said we're getting up obnoxiously early. I love you Catie."   
  
"I love you too Jamie. Have fun!" she slowly hung up the phone, wishing he could hear her say that she loved him. So many doubts and worries plagued her, but she was so afraid of hurting him more. Only Val knew it all. It was odd, she reflected, despite how terrible the accident it was bringing everyone closer in the strangest ways. Alex was human now, she was closer to Val than ever before and Brooke had practically adopted Jamie as her older brother. The world certainly worked in mysterious ways as the cliché went.   
  
***  
  
Jamie threw a couple spare t-shirts in his backpack with some spare shorts and his toiletries. What more did he need? Glancing around the room he added his sign language dictionary, a fresh pad of paper, game boy and his book du jour, The Godfather by Mario Puzo.   
  
Alex flicked the light switch once, letting Jamie know he was there. *Ready? *  
  
"Yeah," Jamie said blurrily, following his guardian out of the apartment. He was still half asleep but last night Alex had promised him donuts if he would wake up at 6:00am. Those donuts were his!   
  
Ten minutes later Jamie was munching happily on a sausage kolaches and had already finished a cream filled donut. He slurped noisily on the chocolate milk Alex had insisted he get instead of a soda. "Thanks," Jamie mumbled around the kolaches.  
  
*Your welcome, * Alex signed back. It was difficult to sign and drive but not impossible. Soon after Jamie fell asleep, curled up in the passenger seat, blissfully passed out.   
"Where are we?" Jamie asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. All around him were tall pine trees and the road was hilly. It looked a lot like Virginia.   
  
*Almost at the North Carolina/South Carolina border. You slept the entire state away. *  
  
"Oh. It doesn't look like we've gone anywhere." Jamie rummaged around his backpack for his book and within minutes it was as if he was asleep again, completely oblivious to Alex.  
  
An hour later Alex pulled off the highway and stopped at a Cracker Barrel. He nudged Jamie and signed 'lunch time'.  
  
"Good, I'm hungry again." Jamie followed Alex up to the porch surrounding what appeared to be a log cabin. All over the porch were rocking chairs. When they went inside they entered a general store screaming 'southern charm'. "What is this place?"  
  
*A popular restaurant. It's only found off the highways between cities. The food is excellent. *   
  
"Two? Smoking or non?" the waitress asked. The name embroidered on her apron read 'Marilee'.   
  
"Two, nonsmoking," Alex replied, following her to a table.   
  
What kind of name is 'Marilee'? Jamie wondered. Sure, he couldn't remember a time when he didn't live in Kingsport, but Virginia, at least Kingsport was more Northeastern than Southern. Now he was in the Deep South and heading deeper.  
  
However the chicken potpie that he ordered was excellent. "I like this place!" Jamie mumbled, intent on the peg game in front of him. On every table there was a peg board and pegs, depending on how many pegs you could get rid of by jumping the pegs over one another depended on your score. Jamie loved it.   
  
Alex shook his head, trying to understand how the boy could be so easily amused. *Time to go hotshot. *   
  
"I got it down to 2 pegs left!" Jamie crowed in the parking lot. "So, how much longer?"  
  
*We should be there in about an hour. *  
  
"Why Georgia?" Jamie asked. This had been preying on the back of his mind ever since the road trip had been proposed. He was almost certain that Alex had something up his sleeve.  
  
*Why not? I have an old friend who lives in Athens that said we could stay with him. * Alex told him. His old college roommate was a professor at the University of Georgia and had helped him to find Jamie's brother.   
  
"Whatever."   
  
***  
  
An hour later they arrived at a small split-level. "This it?"  
  
*Yes. Come on.*  
  
Alex strode quickly to the door with Jamie lurking behind him. A minute later the door opened revealing a woman about the same age as Alex and pregnant. "Alex! You look good! And you must be Jamie!"   
  
Jamie stared at her.  
  
"He's deaf, Lilly." Alex told her pointedly. Jamie stood there his arms crossed over his Captain America t-shirt. Everything about his manner screamed 'punk rebel'.   
  
"Well, come on in!" she said, flustered. "John isn't here right now, he has classes until 5:30, but I'll show you around." Alex just signed whom she was and that she was giving them a tour. Jamie followed dutifully, dropping his backpack by the front door.   
  
The house was littered with toddler toys and baby gates. After only a minute a kid about three came careening from behind the couch and latched onto her mothers leg, staring up a the two visitors. Lilly picked her up and continued the tour, introducing the girl as 'Sarah'. Jamie would sleep in the second bed in Sarah's room and Alex got the couch.   
  
*I'm going to lie down, * Alex both signed and spoke, leaving Jamie alone with Lilly and Sarah.   
  
"Do you want to watch TV?" Lilly asked, obviously not used to dealing with someone who was disabled.   
  
*I'm deaf, * Jamie signed, not even bothering to tell her he could speak.   
  
"Riiight," she said slowly, taking his arm, pulling him down the stairs to the TV.   
  
He shrugged her away heading to the TV, fiddling with the control settings. He had become skilled at turning on the closed captioning. He quickly found cartoon network and sat on the couch to relax.  
  
Sarah joined him, inching her way closer and closer, her eyes wide. Finally she just stared at him from barely a foot away. Jamie waved. She waved back before scurrying over to a pile of toys. Soon Jamie was on the floor playing with her, ending up with them wrestling in a tickle fight.   
  
Lilly just watched from the kitchen door, unsure if she should trust him, but he had done nothing wrong so far.   
  
***  
  
"I'm home Lilly!" John called to his wife. "What's new?"  
  
"Shh!" she hissed. "Alex is here, he brought his ward too. And Sarah's sleeping."  
  
"This late?"  
  
"Come look," she said, leading him from the kitchen to the living room. Sprawled out on the floor were Jamie and Sarah, both oblivious to the adults watching them. "They started playing and wore themselves out. I didn't have the heart to wake either of them."  
  
"So that's Jamie. He doesn't look like his brother at all." He commented.   
  
"You never did explain why they came so suddenly."  
  
"I'll explain that," Alex said, coming down the stairs. "Jamie's father is missing. And he hasn't seen his brother since he left for UGA two years ago. Peter, his brother, doesn't want to see Jamie, but we're hoping that he might know where the father is or even their mother. And if Peter won't come see Jamie, then Jamie will just have to go see Peter. But, Jamie doesn't know Peter is here, he doesn't know where he is."  
  
"He's deaf. Does Peter know sign?" she asked, but before anyone could answer she continued, "of course he does, they're brothers."  
  
"No, he doesn't," Alex, corrected her, "Jamie's only been deaf for about three and a half months, he hasn't seen Peter in two years."  
  
"I have to go finish getting dinner together," she said, excusing herself. She would never admit it but people with disabilities made her nervous, she didn't know how to act around them.   
  
Dinner was a nerve-wracking affair; Alex and John talked about finding Peter and their lives, while Lilly helped Sarah try to get more food in her mouth than on the floor. Jamie ate his meal quickly, asking to be excused to play his game boy.   
  
*Jamie. Come on, we're going out. * Alex told him after dinner.  
  
*Where? What's to do around here? *  
  
*Going to look at the campus. John's going to give us a tour. *   
  
"Whoop," the younger man mumbled, shutting off his game and rummaging in his backpack for his sunglasses.   
  
"Now, I've asked one of my students to let you see his room in Oglethorpe Hall, so why don't we head there first?" John asked, pausing a moment to let Alex translate. In school he had teased his roommate about taking sign language classes but was now happy that they were working out.   
  
"Sure," Jamie replied. The first time he had spoke surprised John, not expecting him to speak so clearly.   
  
"Why didn't you tell Lilly you could speak?" John asked him through Alex.  
  
"Because she's all scared of me or something. Figured if I didn't say anything it would help." Jamie told him, confirming that he was paying more attention than John thought. Alex knew better.  
  
They followed John through the lobby, not having to show ID cards because it was still early, and up the stairs to the third floor. The narrow hallway was decorated with handmade signs stating floor rules, what would happen if you got drunk (mullets for all!) and pictures the occupants had put up covered the doors to the rooms.   
  
They stopped in front of a door decorated with advertisements of Absolut Vodka and women. Obviously a guy's room. John knocked and a guy opened the door. He was dressed as a typical college sophomore, khaki shorts, faded t-shirt from urban outfitters and Birkenstocks. He was tall with broad shoulders, his blond hair shaggy but still very preppy. He obviously resembled his father more than his mother.  
  
"Prof. Constantine," he said, nodding and opening the door wider, revealing a messy dorm room decorated with posters of barely clothed women.   
  
"I hope I didn't ruin your plans for tonight," John said cordially. He had changed from his usual suit to jeans and a t-shirt to show this was an informal visit.  
  
"Nah, I won't go out until later tonight. So who's this kid you wanted to show the dorms to?"  
  
"Oh! Right!" John replied, remembering that Jamie was still waiting outside with Alex. "Alex! Why don't you two come in?"  
  
"Jamie!" Peter exclaimed seeing his younger brother. "What're you doing here?"  
  
At the same time Jamie yelled "Peter! What the hell?"  
  
A/n: I made the phone number up.   
Don't I have eclectic taste in books? I had to read the first part of The Godfather (yes, the book that inspired the movie) and it's excellent!  
  
Anyone catch the significance of John's name?  
  
Also, on my floor we had posters proclaiming that if you got drunk you'd wake up with a mullet so don't drink!  
  
I am the princess of cliffhangers!!!! 


	13. ...Is Paved With Good Intentions

Silent Heartbeats 13: ... Is Paved With Good Intentions  
By Maureen  
  
***  
  
Jamie turned to glare at his foster father, signing rapidly. *What the hell do you think you're doing? Did you plan this?! * His signs became more rapid and sharp expressing his outrage.  
  
*Surprise! * Alex said, not quite following what Jamie was saying as he was signing too quickly. A beat later he understood. *What's wrong? *  
  
*What's wrong? * Every bone and muscle in his young body radiating sarcasm, *What's wrong? I hate Peter the perfect! Why would I want to see him? *  
  
*But he's your brother! * Alex protested feebly, not expecting his plan to backfire.   
  
*So? He left me there alone. He always abandoned me! Just like my father did. I'm leaving! * Jamie tried to push past Alex, but Alex restrained him, well practiced from the past months.  
  
*I'll clear this up. *  
  
While Alex's back was turned Jamie snuck out of the room and out of the building into the dusk. He didn't need Alex and he certainly didn't need Peter the perfect!  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, John and Peter were arguing as well, although theirs was much more civilized, as telling off your professor is not a good way to make an 'A' in the class.   
  
"Did you know that was Jamie? Did you do this on purpose?" Peter demanded. He had left his old life behind when he left for college, family and all. He had decided in high school that he wasn't going to live in poverty and squalor for the rest of his life and worked hard to get a full scholarship to the University of Georgia. He had worked that summer and throughout college to afford his clothes, food and other college essentials. He almost had enough saved up to get a car. His first. Now it all looked to be caving in.  
  
"Yes, I knew Jamie was your brother. Alex called me for help confirming it. He needs you, you're family," John told him, hoping the younger man could forget the past.  
  
"I have no family," Peter said with finality. "If you'll excuse me, I have things to do."  
  
"I'll meet you and Jamie at the car, okay, John?" Alex said, not realizing that the EMT had left. John nodded and left, thinking that Jamie was in the hallway or at the car already.  
  
***  
  
Jamie ran, not paying attention to where he was going. In the twilight, everything looked the same, tall buildings and pine trees. Finally he stopped, out of breath. After he calmed down a little he looked around, completely lost. "Crappit." He said to no one in particular.   
  
He turned around to head back from where he had come from, but realized he wasn't sure where that was. He had taken several twists and turns and didn't remember the name of the dorm. "Crappity crappity crap." He chanted, not really worried, but at the same time terrified.  
  
He knew Kingsport. He knew where everything was and if he didn't know, he could find out quickly enough using cross streets and basic directions. Here he was completely lost and had no idea where to start to get back. If only he had paid more attention to where they were when Alex had told him. He'd been too busy trying to think of ways to annoy Lilly while pretending to be too cool for words.   
  
Sighing, he sat down on the curb, wondering if it would simply be better to just walk into the middle of traffic and end his hellish life. Catie wouldn't like that though, he remembered. She got mad whenever he said stupid stuff like that and he didn't want to make her mad. Besides, he didn't mean it.  
  
On the other side of the street was a map of campus. Jamie sighed and looked at it, unsure where exactly he needed to be. The only reason he knew where he was, was the large 'you are here' sign with an arrow. He ran a hand through his spiky hair, wondering if he even wanted to go back at all. Damn Peter.  
  
Damn him to hell. With his father. He kicked the trashcan next to the campus map, angrily. It didn't budge. He kicked it again, harder, this time it wobbled but again stayed upright. Well, he would topple it if it were the last thing he did.  
  
While he tried to beat the crud out of the defenseless trashcan, a cop car drove up. They had asked Jamie to turn around several times and when he failed to do so, the first officer drew his gun and the second officer tapped his shoulder carefully. Jamie whirled around, startled. His eyes widened as he saw two police officers, guns drawn and pointing at him.  
  
Jamie raised his hands in the air; he unfortunately knew how to deal with the police. His probation made sure of that. "I'm deaf!" he called out, hoping to avoid a problem.   
  
The first cop motioned Jamie to put his hands on the roof of the car and he roughly pushed his legs apart and frisked him. As soon as he was done, he rudely bent his arms back, handcuffing him. The second cop handed him a tube, motioning Jamie to breathe into it. Breathalyzer. He was clean.   
  
/Name?/ the first cop wrote on a piece of paper.  
  
"James Waite. I'm from Kingsport, Virginia, sir." Short and to the point. Cops liked that.  
  
/What were you doing Mr. Waite?/  
  
I was kicking the trashcan," it is always best to be ultra-polite when dealing with anyone that could potentially arrest you. "I know my rights too, no need to write them out."  
  
/Why were you kicking the trashcan?/  
  
"I'm lost, sir. And I couldn't figure out a way to get unlost. I'm here with my foster-father and I don't know where I'm staying or the phone number. I was frustrated."  
  
/Who are you staying with?/  
  
"Professor John Constantine. He works for the University here."  
  
/Come on, we'll help you get home/ It didn't seem like he was being arrested and the tension in his shoulders began to wash away some, but being cuffed was still not a good thing. Alex wouldn't like him being brought back by the police anyways.  
  
They did not remove the handcuffs as they loaded him into the back of the squad car. This was not the first time he had been led away in cuffs but he had been hoping not to have to repeat it again. So much for hoping.   
  
***  
  
At the station, he was seated in a hard, molded plastic chair, still in handcuffs. He had been interrogated with an interpreter, finger printed and his ID checked. His nose itched and he couldn't scratch it. /This the address?/ a cop asked, handing him a piece of paper.   
  
"I think so. Is there more than one Constantine?"  
  
The policeman shook his head, no.   
  
"Then it must be." The cop helped him up and escorted him back to the car. "Could you take the handcuffs off?" Jamie asked.  
  
He was ignored.  
  
***  
  
Lilly opened the door a few minutes after the doorbell rang. John had called nearly two hours ago updating her on what happened. She assumed it was Jamie at the door, having found his way back.  
  
"Yes?" she said, opening the door, not expecting two policemen and Jamie. "Can I help you?"  
  
"Mrs. Constantine?" the older of the two men asked.   
  
"Yes..." she said, cautiously.   
  
"You know this man?"   
  
"Yes, he's staying with us for the weekend." She knew he was a no-good punk.  
  
They took the handcuffs off finally, releasing him to her. "Keep him out of trouble. We're not pressing charges or anything, but I don't want to see him again."  
  
"Thank you, officers. He won't be back."  
  
Jamie walked into the house and as soon as the door was closed, Lilly turned around, her glare capable of melting ice. She merely pointed up the stairs to the baby's room. Jamie slunk up the stairs. Alex wouldn't be so terrible Jamie thought, but until Alex got home, he was screwed.   
  
  
A/n: "crappity crappity crap" and "crappit" are both used by my friend the Gork King (who shall never read this).   
Gork: a geek/dork mix. Highly entertaining.  
Sorry it took so long to get this out. I hate not having my computer.  



	14. Bittersweet Memories

Silent Heartbeats 14: Bittersweet Memories  
By Maureen  
  
Standard disclaimers apply. Some bad language. This is how most (but not all) guys in college speak.  
  
***  
  
Alex and John arrived home an hour after Jamie had, both frustrated and wanting a beer to help de-stress them. While Alex was not a heavy drinker by any definition, he did occasionally like to unwind with a cold one and since he had taken Jamie in he had certainly felt the call of alcohol more than normal. This would be the first time he had heeded it though.  
  
"He's upstairs," Lilly said from the couch. She sat in the darkened living room, surprising her husband and Alex. "The cops brought him home an hour ago."  
  
"The cops?" John echoed dully.   
  
"I'll deal with him, John. It's not like we're not completely blameless either." Alex pointed out, heading upstairs.  
  
"Don't wake up the baby!" she called after Alex. He ignored her. "John, I don't like this kid."  
  
"You didn't like him from the moment he walked in the door, Lilly. Why?"  
  
"He's a juvenile delinquent, John!" Lilly defended herself.  
  
"There's more to it than that, honey. You were never hated somebody on sight like this before."  
  
"I'm not comfortable with people with disabilities, okay? What if there's a fire and he doesn't wake up? And he's a punk. What if he steals the good china?" Lilly tried to verbalize her concerns, unsure exactly what was disturbing her so. "You should have told me!"  
  
"I asked if it was alright for them to come stay with us, remember? And I told you he was deaf."  
  
"You didn't say he was a poster child for the juvie system!"   
  
John sighed. "I didn't know he was a punk, okay? But Alex said he was a good kid and I trust him. If Alex says he's good then appearance or not, I'm going to take his word on it. Besides, I've had a lot of weirder looking kids in my classes. Had a guy one year who wore bondage gear to class almost every day."  
  
"I don't like this," Lilly looked down, ashamed of her behavior. Until this point she had prided herself on being open-minded, but never before had she been forced to try to understand a person who was not an Abercrombie prep, someone not from an upper-middle class background.   
  
***  
  
Alex slowly opened the door to the room Jamie was sharing with Sarah. Since Sarah was already asleep, Jamie had simply taken off his shoes and laid down as well. Now he was fast asleep, oblivious to Alex in the doorway or the conversation taking place downstairs.   
  
Alex watched the steady rise and fall of Jamie's chest as he slept, still clothed in his jeans and t-shirt. Shaking his head, he closed the door. Now he had at least a few hours to figure out what to do before Jamie woke up.  
  
Alex headed back down, intending to sleep himself. When he reached the living room, he saw that the Constantine's were still talking, he didn't want to interrupt but he didn't know where else to go.   
  
"Alex, don't go," John called softly, "Lilly is worried that Jamie will...well, she wants to know more about him."  
  
"Your afraid he'll take the good china?" Alex asked, guessing at what had Lilly so worried.  
  
She nodded, not meeting the older mans' eyes.   
  
"He won't. He's a good kid, Lilly. Sure, he dresses differently, but that's not a bad thing. He's an individual. I worked with him for several months before I took him in, no matter what was thrown at him, and he's had quite a bit thrown at him during his life, he took it and rose above it. He just needs someone to love him unconditionally and be there for him. That's what I'm doing, okay?"  
  
Lilly only nodded again, "Has he been in trouble before?" While they spoke, John slipped away, letting them have their privacy.  
  
Alex thought for a moment, trying to decide if he should tell the truth or not. The truth won out. "Yeah, he's been in trouble before. He was on probation until earlier this week. But look at where he's coming from; his father is an alcoholic who couldn't keep a job if his life depended on it, he abused both of his sons, he was barely passing in school, he had nothing. He was put on probation for taking some guitar picks, not armed robbery. I'm surprised he's turned out as well as he has, actually. In three months his grades have gone from D's to A's and B's. He has friends, a girlfriend. The changes are day and night. This chip on his shoulder is nearly gone."  
  
"You love him," Lilly didn't ask a question, she made it a statement.  
  
"Yeah, I do. I became a doctor to help people, Lilly, but I'm stuck behind a desk at the station. I don't help anyone, not directly like I want to. I can and have influenced this boy, helped him become a man. I'm a parent. Sure, he doesn't call me 'dad' and I missed him growing up, but I'm more of a parent to him than he's ever had before. I'm more than he's ever had before. I'm not going to let him down. He means too much to me."  
  
"I need to get to sleep, it's getting late and Sarah will be up early." Lilly said, excusing herself. Alex had certainly given her quite a bit to think about. "If you need anything, just ask."  
  
"One more thing," Alex said. She paused at the doorway, waiting. "The police tonight, that was mostly my fault. Don't be mad at him."  
  
Lilly nodded shortly, leaving Alex by himself.   
  
***  
  
Jamie trudged downstairs at 9:00am not looking forward to the lecture that he knew was coming. *Sleep good?* Alex asked.  
  
"Uhh, yeah," Jamie replied. Not what he was expecting.   
  
*There's stuff for cereal on the table and milk and OJ in the refrigerator.* Alex told him, continuing to look over the papers he had brought with him from the station.   
  
Jamie went to go get breakfast, wondering where everyone was. The house was abnormally quiet. Wait, there was a reason for that. He sat down at the table to eat and Alex joined him. *Want to talk about last night?*  
  
"What's there to say? I was arrested. Again." Jamie sighed, resigned to being punished and yelled at.  
  
*Not what I meant. I mean, about us tricking you into seeing Peter.*  
  
"Oh, that. You should have told me. I could've saved you a lot of gas money. We aren't exactly a close-knit family."  
  
*You have a remarkable knack for understatement. Why do you hate him so much?*  
  
"He left me with our dad. He just left. He was always talking about getting a scholarship and leaving, but I never thought he'd go. I thought he'd protect me like he had been. Then one day I came home and he had packed a couple boxes and left on a gray hound, he didn't say where he was going, no goodbye, no nothing." Tears began to trickle down his cheeks. "We were never close, but he stopped dad from hitting me so much."  
  
*Your dad beat you more after that?* Alex didn't want to know the answer.  
  
"Yeah. Enough for us both." He didn't bother to wipe the tears away.   
  
Alex reached over and grabbed a napkin off the table, wiping the tears off his wards' face. *I'm not going to leave, understand that?*  
  
Jamie nodded, unable to speak.   
  
*And I'm not mad at you for getting arrested.*  
  
"You're not?" he choked out, surprised.  
  
*No, I'm not. If I had known all of this, I would never have forced you to see Peter. So your run-in is partially my fault. But, what were you doing?*  
  
"Kicking a trashcan, but I think they hauled me to the station because I didn't turn around when they told me too. Did you talk with Peter after I left?"  
  
Alex had hoped Jamie wouldn't ask that question. It nearly tore his heart out to have to tell him the truth. *Yeah, he...he doesn't want to see you again.*  
  
"Oh." Was all that the younger man replied. Slowly he took a bite of his cereal. He wasn't going to start bawling like a baby. He wasn't. More tears trickled down his face, unbidden. He left the cereal half finished and headed out to the backyard for some privacy.  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, John had headed back over to Oglethorpe to see Peter, hoping to talk some sense into him.   
  
"I left my life in Kingsport behind and that means Jamie too!" Peter said harshly, wishing this conversation was not taking place in front of his roommate but unable to make him leave.  
  
"He needs you! You're his brother!" John repeated, trying to understand how a family could be this callous and uncaring towards each other.  
  
"So what? Our mother left and so did I! I'm not going back to that nightmare!"  
  
"I'm not asking you too! I'm asking for you to have lunch today with your brother! Maybe go hang out tonight. Hell, take him to a frat party or a strip club! Get him drunk!" Peter looked at his Professor aghast. "What you think I forgot what guys in college do? I'm not that old!"  
  
"We can't talk! Or 'bond' as I'm sure you'd call it! He's fuckin' deaf! As in he can't hear! I don't know shit about sign language!"  
  
"So what? Make an effort! Write down what you want to say! It's not that hard to do!" Constantine was pissed. Almost pissed enough to drop his student a letter grade, fortunately he didn't believe in letting events outside the classroom dictate the grade in the classroom. But he was almost willing to 'forget' his rule for a few minutes.  
  
Peter sighed, knowing he was defeated, "I'll think about it and call you later."   
  
"You have my home number?"  
  
"It's on the syllabus."  
  
John looked around the room amazed if the syllabus hadn't walked away in search of a cleaner room. "Let me save you the trouble of having to find it," He handed Peter a business card, before letting himself out the door. "Oh, and Peter? I can't force you to do this, but I can promise you that you'll make his day. He misses you."  
  
A/N: the kid who wore bondage gear to class is a friend of mine who really does. If you don't know what bondage gear is...well, don't ask me. And certainly don't ask your parents!   
Nice little cliffhanger I left, huh? Well, let's see what happens in chapter 15. I certainly don't know!  



	15. You can pick your nose, but not your fam...

Silent Heartbeats 15: You can pick your nose, but not your family   
By Maureen  
  
Alex watched Jamie swing on the swing set with uncharacteristic vigor through the playroom window. Back and forth, back and forth, legs pumping, he was obviously trying to outrun his inner demons and failing.   
  
"Not a happy camper is he?" Lilly asked hesitantly. She had run errands all morning to give Alex a chance to deal with Jamie but she had to return so Sarah could sleep.   
  
"That would be an understatement. I think I shattered whatever slivers of hope he had." Alex didn't turn to look at her, but she could tell that he was upset from the tense muscles in his back.  
  
"I'm sorry about how I've acted, I wish I could do this over again, make a better impression."  
  
"Don't apologize to me, apologize to him."   
  
"I don't know sign."   
  
"I'll show you, it's not hard." Alex turned away from the window to show her the sign. "I almost wish I was married right now. He needs two parents. His girlfriend, Catie, helps a lot for the maternal stuff, but she's in Kingsport and this is something that needs to be dealt with now."  
  
Lilly stood next to him silently for a few more minutes before opening the sliding glass door. She joined Jamie on the swings and began to swing herself, more of a gentle rocking motion than the hard pumping that Jamie was doing.   
  
"What do you want?!" Jamie demanded, noticing her.  
  
*I'm sorry.*  
  
"You're sorry, I'm sorry, sorry doesn't do any damn good!" Jamie yelled at her, jumping off the swing. He landed with a thud, rolling the last few feet head over heels. He sat where he landed, tears streaming down his face. Within seconds, he was cradled in Lilly's arms, being rocked softly.  
  
Even though he couldn't hear her, she rubbed his back and rocked him gently, murmuring soothing words. Sobs wracked his thin body until he could cry no more. "He said when we were little that he'd always be there for me and he always was. And when he left, I thought he'd come back for me as soon as he had the money, but he didn't. I never knew where he had gone!"  
  
"Shhh, shhh, I know, I know." Lilly couldn't believe how vulnerable he was at sixteen years old. Most sixteen-year-old guys would not be caught dead crying in the arms of a strange woman that a day before had nearly hated him. Of course, he had not exactly led a life that allowed for him to be vulnerable and was most likely taking it since he knew society would probably never let him have it again. So young to be hurt so badly.  
  
***  
  
While Lilly and Jamie were outside, John had joined Alex in the playroom. "How'd the talk with Peter go?" Alex asked.  
  
"He doesn't want to see him still, but I implied that if he didn't see him tonight his grade in my class would suffer. He's on a full scholarship and can't let his grades down for a minute. I won't do it, I have morals, but I'm tempted."  
  
"We'll leave after dinner if he doesn't call," Alex sighed, "This is not how I pictured everything. It was supposed to be one of those picture perfect Lifetime movie crap things."  
  
"Never is, man, never is. How's your sister?" John asked, changing the subject. They continued to speak until the phone rang nearly thirty minutes later.  
  
"Hello?" John asked, picking the phone up.  
  
"It's Peter. I'll take Jamie out if he still wants to go." He was obviously nervous and wished this phone call was finished. Hell, he wished the entire night were over.  
  
"Sure. Be here at 7:00pm? You need directions?"  
  
"No, I know where your house is. 7:00 then."  
  
"What're you going to do?"  
  
"Dinner and then a party if he wants to go. If not, I'll take him back." Peter did not want to go out with his kid brother at all. The faster he could get rid of him the better. Maybe he could pass him off as a cousin or exchange student or something...they didn't look anything alike and his friend's thought that he didn't have any family.   
  
Just went to show you, no matter what happened, blood ended up more binding than all of a persons hopes and dreams.  
  
***  
  
Jamie fidgeted nervously on the couch, trying to play with Sarah. His heart just wasn't interested in playing with a toddler. Jamie fidgeted some more. He wasn't even this nervous on his first date!  
  
Finally the doorbell rang. The nice thing about toddlers and dogs, Jamie decided, was that they always made a beeline for the door whenever the doorbell rang. They were more reliable than the stupid thing at Alex's apartment that flashed whenever someone knocked on the door.  
  
Jamie followed at a less than breakneck speed, although, with his significantly longer legs, had no problems keeping up with the small child. For some unknown reason, he wasn't expecting his older brother to show. Call it an educated guess; after all, his track record for keeping his promises to his younger brother wasn't exactly exemplary.   
  
Peter stood in the doorway, his nervousness nearly palpable. He's mouth moved, obviously to say something. "I'm deaf Beavis," Jamie replied, sarcastically. He didn't want to admit it, but he was still not used to the silence he lived in. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be inured to it or not.  
  
*He said he's taking you to a party. Here's our phone number, just in case. And try to be home at a reasonable hour. 6am is not reasonable! * Alex said, ushering the brothers out the door. He had also repeated his instructions to Peter.   
  
Jamie shoved the piece of paper with the phone number in a pocket, immediately forgetting about it. He was sixteen! He did not need an emergency number! Of course, he remembered, he had needed one the night before. Damn their logic.  
  
Dinner, as it turned out, was pizza at the local pizza parlor. There were probably close to 10 people in their group, three cars. Jamie had no idea who anyone was except Peter and did not bother to introduce him. He didn't even care about the explanation Peter had given to his presence, Jamie knew that he was not introduced as his younger brother.  
  
He ate his pizza, sitting inconspicuously at one end of the table. The other people were all young, gorgeous and preppy. Bleach blonde hair, short skirts and plaid shirts ruled. Jamie looked decidedly out of place, like he did when he hung with the 'super squad'. At least with them he knew where he stood, knew that they accepted each other's differences and actually liked them. It wasn't often the social barriers were crossed, but when they were it was, at least in Jamie's biased opinion, fraught with confusion and misunderstanding that led to acceptance and understanding. This was going to be a long night.  
  
The party was already in full swing when they arrived. Someone immediately pressed a cold beer into Jamie's hand. Not just any beer, he noticed, but Foster's. 'Australian for beer' my left butt cheek, he thought, more like 'Australian for cat piss'. Foster's, he knew, was hated in Australia and was subsequently imported to America.   
  
Oh, they're going all out for this party, he thought. Cheap beer, bass he could feel in his teeth and cheap girls. All in all, it was a VD's paradise. Too bad he had no desire to end up with gonorrhea or syph.  
  
Looking around Peter was nowhere to be seen. There was no reason for him to stay close to Jamie, he didn't need anyone to hold his hand, but it would have been polite to at least introduce him to a few people.  
  
Jamie sat on a couch next to a girl who was attempting to swallow the head of a guy. For his part, he was trying to swallow her head as well. Wunderbar.  
  
As interesting as watching people make out and strip because of drunkenness, he was an EMT. He saved lives, and something in him said 'this isn't right, I should stop it'. What was he going to do though, take every single solitary beer away? There would be a drunken mob trying to lynch him.   
  
So he sat. For two hours according to his watch. He was bored. And the can of Foster's he still held, that way no one would hand him more, was beginning to look appealing. So he decided to wander upstairs. Maybe something interesting would be going on up there.  
  
Nope. Just lots of weed and shots of whiskey, vodka and who knows what else. He found Peter doing Kamikaze's, a toke in his other hand. Perfect. His brother not only drank underage, but also did drugs. Jamie shook his head, as he realized that at a party like this it was to be expected. He was the anomaly. Why else would they have come?  
  
Jamie checked his watch again. Nearly midnight. A little late to call Alex, but late was better than never, which is what could happen if he rides back with the drunk drivers.  
  
Downstairs he found the phone, and he quickly dialed the number Alex had given him. He couldn't hear it ring. The phone didn't have a TTY connection. He was SOL. Jamie returned to his couch, dejected, phone still in hand. What could he do? He didn't know if he could find his way back in the dark...not that he knew where 'here' was.  
  
Then again...it might just work. Jamie quickly pushed the on button and dialed 911. After he waited a minute, he said into the phone, "My name is Jamie, and I'm deaf. Please send the police to this address!" He waited another minute to make sure they had the address on their computers before hanging up and heading out to the front yard to wait.  
  
Less than ten minutes later a squad car drove up, no lights on. The two cops from the night before stepped out. Bloody hell.   
  
"Not you two!" Jamie complained, meeting them in the yard. By this point, word that they were being raided had passed through the masses in the house and kids were streaming out the back door in an attempt to not get caught. The cops weren't even chasing them.  
  
"Mr. Waite." the more experienced of the two said, sourly. There was no need for paper. He made a phone with his hand and then pointed at Jamie. 'You called?'  
  
"I called," Jamie said, suddenly ashamed. His brilliant plan was not working. "I, ah, need a ride home. I was going to call for the Constantine's to pick me up, but I don't know how to get here and there is no TTY. Calling 911 was the only thing I could think to do."  
  
/You know where you are?/ the cop asked, remembering the night before.  
  
"Yeah. Peachtea Lane. At a really crappy party. It sucks."  
  
/You been drinking?/  
  
"No sir." Jamie replied. "I need a ride because it is too far to walk and because I am not riding with a drunk driver."  
  
/We're going to breathalyze you. If you're clean, we'll take you home./ Jamie breathed obediently into the plastic tube they told him too, waiting quietly while they determined that he was indeed sober. /Okay kid, let's go./  
  
"Thanks." Jamie climbed into the backseat, sans handcuffs. Screw Peter. Big brother or not, he was a grade-A asshole.   
  
Jamie left the next morning without knowing what happened to Peter. And he didn't care.  
  
A/n" VD: Venereal Disease, aka a STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease).  
Syph: syphilis. I know a cat named "The goddess Syphalia", which is shortened to "Syph"...so yeah, the comic store guy that owns her has Syph. ; P  



	16. Twisting the Knife

Silent Heartbeats 16: Twisting the Knife  
By Maureen  
  
See disclaimers at the beginning and in other random chapters.  
  
"Spoken words"  
*Signed words*  
/written words/  
"*Signed and spoken words*"  
  
***  
  
Life settled into a lazy summer routine. Jamie worked five eight-hour shifts at the station, usually the same hours as Alex. Catie was also working so they rarely saw each other, treasuring the time they were able to make.  
  
Catie had enrolled in an intermediate sign language class so she could keep up with Jamie, who was attending summer classes at the Bradford Academy so he would be ready to enter regular classes in August. To both Jamie and Catie's surprise, Brooke also signed up for two sign language classes, a six-week beginners class and a six-week intermediate class.   
  
"Brooke!" Alex called from inside his office.   
  
Brooke appeared with her omnipresent armload of files. "Yes sir?" she asked, wondering who the kid in the office with him was.  
  
"I want the squad and Jamie to meet in the common area in ten minutes. I have an announcement."   
  
"Sure," she told him, wondering if that was Jamie's replacement. They had asked for a new gofer several months ago, but no one was willing to transfer from another unit and the recruitment program was not getting them EMTs, only support staff. No one had said anything, but Brooke knew, they wanted Jamie back. And Jamie wanted to be back.  
  
***  
  
Ten minutes later everyone was lounging on the old couches. It had been a slow day at best, no heat related injuries, no one getting hurt diving off the platform dive, nothing.   
  
Alex joined them, signing and speaking. "*I know that working without a gofer can sometimes be difficult and that everyone wants Jamie back on the squad, none more so than Jamie himself. But, that isn't possible and we all know it. I wish this could be under better circumstances, but I'd like to introduce Misha Rasputin, the newest person here at the station.*"   
Upon hearing his name, Misha stepped into the room, smiling. "Um, hi," he said, nervously. Alex had briefed him that his welcome would not be as warm as it probably could be because of the circumstances surrounding Jamie's parting from the team.   
  
Everybody stared at him, not speaking, not moving. Finally Val smiled a little, more her lips turning upwards at the ends as opposed to the 100mega watt smile she usually gives people. "Hi, I'm Val."  
  
Slowly the others introduced themselves, reserved towards the 'new guy'. Except for Jamie. He just left to get back to his never ending inventory. Let the others 'welcome' him, they would be working with this Misha, not him.  
  
And what kind of name was 'Misha' anyways? Jamie wondered. No self-respecting guy would willingly be called that!   
  
***  
  
"So, Val, is Jamie going to pretend I don't exist forever?" Misha asked, wondering if they would ever warm up to him. It had been nearly two weeks and Jamie still had not spoken to Misha despite them working the inventory together.  
  
"It seems like it," Val told him, putting the magazine she was reading down. "It's not you personally. He just can't handle being replaced even though he hasn't been the gofer for months now. No offense to you, but I don't really blame him. He put everything into the squad." She didn't continue.  
  
"And in the end, he was forced to the sidelines." Misha finished softly. He knew all this, between what he had found out about the younger man and what he observed, this was all obvious. It didn't make things easier though. "Sucks to be him."  
  
"Careful, frosh," Hank said from where he had been listening. As the most senior EMT he had the responsibility of making sure everyone at least could tolerate each other, making sure the invisible lines were never crossed.   
  
Life at the station was going to get worse before it got better since in less than a month, Hank too would be leaving for college. He was going to be a premed major at George Washington University in Washington D.C. Everyone was excited for him, but it would mean one less person once again and one more change.   
  
Tyler had just completed his training to take over as EMT-1 and once he had his 18th birthday he would officially take over Hank's job. It was bittersweet, on one hand it was the job he wanted, on the other, his boyfriend would be leaving him for school. Needless to say, the tension in the station between Hank/Tyler/Jamie/Misha was reaching an all-time high.  
  
  
***  
  
"Stop lurking!" Jamie commanded in the storeroom to Misha. "Come out."  
  
Looking almost guilty, Misha delurked from behind some boxes, an envelope in hand. He quickly handed it to Jamie and then left, his shift over.   
  
Jamie sat down on the cement floor and popped the unsealed envelope open, reading the letter inside.  
  
Dear Jamie,  
  
I know you don't want to even try to get to know me, and I know why. I respect that, even understand it, but, your behavior is beginning to affect everyone around here. They care so much for you, I don't know if you realize how much. Alex loves you, Brooke is your little sister, and Catie would move heaven and earth for you if she could. They all would. And as long as you continue to hate me, they will too. This will, eventually, affect our job. I really would be very guilty if that happened, especially if I could prevent it. You are an EMT, I have never disputed that, but I am too. If nothing else, respect that. You don't have to respect or even like me, just don't hate me. I wish I had joined the squad under different circumstances, but I can't change anything. I would if I could.  
  
Misha Rasputin.  
  
PS: yeah, I know my name is stupid. I'm going to change it when I am 18.  
  
Jamie reread the letter, making sure he understood it, before crumpling it up in his pocket. He checked his watch, seeing that he only had 30minutes left of his shift. He picked up his clipboard and finished the inventory of the box.  
  
***  
  
The next day, Misha was off duty, but stopped by the station for his paycheck. Jamie flagged him down, heading outside with the Russian-American. "I read your letter," Jamie said, "You're right. I don't like it, but you are right. Truce?"  
  
Jamie stuck out his hand, the buckle on the leather cuff on his right wrist glinted in the sunlight. Misha stuck his hand out as well, shaking Jamie's, "Truce," he replied.  
  
***  
  
Jamie sat outside on the patio at Tyler's house, still not used to the size of his house. He had grown up in a rundown 2-bedroom/ 1-bathroom house without enough room in the living room/kitchen to have 2 people walk next to each other. Even now living in an apartment, it was not spacious. It was larger than his house, which had shocked him at first, but it was still not large. To Jamie, Tyler practically lived in a mansion! When he had first showed up, everyone was in the 'game room' hanging out. Jamie sat gingerly on the floor, not really sure if he was clean enough or if he could touch anything. No one else it seemed, felt so awkward.  
  
The party was a combination of "Goodbye Hank, Congrats Tyler", and everyone was invited, the jocks, the preps, and of course, Jamie and Catie.   
  
*I feel like I'm going to break something,* Jamie signed to Catie, who was sitting next to him.   
  
*Yeah, I know. I think I saw tennis courts around the corner. But, you look nice in your shorts.*  
  
Jamie blushed scarlet, resembling a tomato with spiky hair. When the invitation came it said that it was a swimming party and since Jamie was saving his money for college, he had cut his oldest jeans into shorts. Everyone else wore 'swimming trunks' with designer logos. He felt like a fish out of water. A poor fish.   
  
*You look pretty too,* Jamie told her, taking her hand in his. Money had never been an issue between then, they both preferred to either make their own clothes or to frequent the thrift stores. And since Jamie was almost never at her house it had never made a difference. Now she was clad in a black bikini with maroon piping. She had added the maroon herself. He had seen the tag on accident though. She was not wearing a cheap bathing suit. *Want to swim?*  
  
*Sure,* she replied.  
  
They headed over to the pool where a water-volleyball game was in full swing. They joined the team with the fewest people and were instantly splashed, poked and involved. Jamie surprised the girl in front of him, whose name he couldn't remember, when he served, scoring their team a point. She was on the volleyball team and had not expected a bleacher junkie to have any hand-eye coordination.   
  
They continued to play until it began to get dark. When it had William, Tyler's stepfather, had lit the grill and the smell of hamburgers were soon enticing everyone back to the patio.   
  
It was very relaxing, and, Jamie had to admit, between Catie and the other girls, great eye candy.   
  
"So, Catie," one jock asked as the night wore on, "why do you date him?" she stressed 'him' to obviously mean 'Jamie'. The unasked question being 'why do you date someone who is disabled?'.  
  
"I love him. And he loves me," Catie replied simply. The jock looked at her uncomprehendingly.   
  
"Okay, I know you two are both freaks, but he like can't hear a word I'm saying right now. That doesn't exactly lead to...meaningful conversation. Besides, I heard his mind is all screwed up."  
  
"Ever hear of sign language?" Catie asked sarcastically, ignoring what was an obvious attempt to extract something to be mutated into harmful gossip.  
  
"That's weird though. And why would you learn another language just to talk to one of your friends? It isn't worth it."  
  
Catie shook her head, pitying the other girl and her friends who were nodding in agreement. "I love him which makes it worth it. Jamie didn't ask to become deaf, the least I could do is learn sigh to speak with him. Tyler and Val are learning sign too. It's not just me."  
  
"Yeah, but they're like, EMTs."  
  
"So?" Catie replied blithely. She quickly glanced over at the clock on the wall. "See ya."  
  
She had no intention of ever speaking to those girls again.  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, Jamie was hanging with the guys, playing basketball. He was on the losing team, consisting of him, Hank and a couple of jocks he didn't know.   
  
"Hah!" Tyler said as the finished the game, "We won!" his team began the customary macho hand and back slapping and prancing around.   
  
"Yeah, yeah, don't think Val won't kick your ass in b-ball at the station though!" Jamie told him. No matter how much anyone denied it, Val was still better in basketball than anyone else at the station.   
  
*Good game* Hank signed, finger spelling out 'game' slowly. "Good game," he repeated.  
  
"We would have won if it weren't for the dummy here." One of the guys on Jamie's team replied, cocking his head towards Jamie.   
  
"You say something about me?" Jamie asked, noticing his body language. "Don't blame our losing on me."  
  
"Damn right it was your fault, I'd call a ball and you wouldn't be there!" the jock was much bigger than Jamie, both in height and shoulders. He played on the football team.  
  
Hank stepped between the jock and Jamie, "Hey man, it wasn't his fault. They were better, that's all. It's not a big deal."  
  
"Why are you defending this junkie?" the other jock growled.  
  
"He's an EMT and my friend." Tyler replied for Hank, stepping alongside Hank. "You have a problem with him, you have a problem with me."  
  
"Wait!" Jamie cried, "I don't need anyone to fight for me! I can fight my own battles."   
  
The jock gave him a look that clearly said 'yeah, right'. He then punched Hank squarely in the nose.  
  
Jamie attempted to tackle him, but the linebacker had a lot of practice withstanding people tackling him and barely budged. He pushed Jamie down and kicked him in the gut, before Tyler could stop him. Within seconds most of the party had gathered around to watch the crap be kicked out of Jamie.   
  
Jamie lay on the ground in a fetal position, praying for the pain to end, not even caring that he obviously looked like an idiot and a wimp. This was too similar to his father. All he saw, despite his eyes being squeezed shut, was his fathers face looming up at him, as his boots connected with the soft flesh of his body.   
  
The fight was over in seconds, three people restraining the jock and Catie and Val helping Jamie get to the bathroom.   
  
Catie held him in a sitting position against the wall while Val made sure no permanent damage had been done and wiped his face with a wet cloth. *You'll live.* she pronounced. "But you're going to be a fantastic array of colors."  
  
"But is living worth this pain?" Jamie asked, not understanding, or caring, about what Val said aloud.   
  
***  
  
Jamie lay in bed the next morning, the covers pulled over his head. Alex had come it at eleven to wake his, opening the curtains as he usually did before leaving to run errands. Jamie did not have the energy or desire to get up to close them, choosing instead to bury himself.  
  
About noon, he awoke because he was cold. He shouldn't be cold, he was buried under blankets. After a minute or two he became annoyed and sat up to find out the source of his added misery. Catie was sitting on the foot of his bed ice cubes in a glass. *About time you woke up. How do you feel?*  
  
*Like a linebacker tackled me. Did you get the license plate of the truck that hit me?*  
  
*Yeah,* Catie replied, moving to snuggle up to her boyfriend and give him a good morning kiss, being careful not to cause him more pain, *One Tommy Jones. You look wonderful, by the way.*  
  
*Black and blue?*  
  
*And green and yellow and purple. I've already talked to Hank and Tyler and they've spoken with Tommy's parents and Alex. It wasn't your fault, nobody is mad at you.*  
  
"I didn't do anything!" Jamie complained out loud. Stupid jocks.   
  
*I know, love, I know.* Catie kissed him again on the head, *I'll go get you some pain meds, okay? Tommy and his parents are coming over tonight about 7:00. They want to apologize.*  
  
***  
  
At 6:50 Jamie stood in front of Alex while the doctor made sure he would survive the fight. *You look like hell, but you'll be okay.* Alex pronounced after a minute, letting Jamie put his t-shirt back on. His face was cut up although not too bad, it was his chest that had been the worst. Catie and Val had hauled Alex out of bed when they brought Jamie home in Val's car to make sure he didn't need to go to the hospital. Alex had given Jamie medicine for pain and to make him sleep, knowing that the nightmares, if not the night terrors would more than likely be back.  
  
Promptly at 7:00 the doorbell rang, the light next to the door flashing incessantly. Jamie headed to the door, opening it slowly. "Come in." he told them, not really wanting Tommy anywhere near him. Catie leaned against the wall, her body language basically saying 'don't even think it'.  
  
"Thank you," Tommy's mother twittered, her hands fluttering about in nervousness. Behind her a large, barrel chested man followed, scowling, and behind him came Tommy.   
  
Alex came out of the kitchen then, ushering the family to the living room. *Jamie, go get water for the Jones'.*   
  
While Jamie was gone, Catie went and sat down across from the love seat Alex had sat on. "I'm translating," she explained simply.   
  
45 minutes later the Jones' left, and Jamie felt at least somewhat better. There were enough witnesses to blame Tommy and not Jamie that nothing had happened. Since Jamie had not needed to go to the hospital and he wasn't wearing his hearing aids, which subsequently meant that they were not broken, Tommy apologized and Jamie had accepted. However, there was no lost love between the two.   
  
With only two weeks left of summer, Jamie was going to try to make the best of it, bruised or not.  
  
A/n: Misha is a Russian guys name. 


	17. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Silent Heartbeats 17: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road  
By Maureen  
  
Disclaimer: well, I decided I hadn't done one of these in a while, so I figured 'why not'? I've been busy so the chapters have been flowing much more slowly than I'd've liked, but oh well, that's life. Anyways, Jamie, Catie, Alex, Hank, Tyler, Val and Brooke are Disney's, Misha and everyone else (more or less) is mine, and…yeah, this story is mine too. I'm not making any money off of this, although I won't say 'no' to donations to the 'send Maureen to college fund'.   
  
***  
  
Jamie awoke before his alarm went off, bounding out of bed with uncharacteristic vigor. He shut the alarm off and pulled the curtains in his room open, letting the bright sunshine illuminate his room. It was a Monday. Monday. The worst day of the week, loathed by everyone except toddlers who haven't yet learned better. Monday, the day work and school resume again, the monotony of the week beginning its cycle yet again. It is the day that people begin to dream once again about the weekend.  
  
And sixteen year old James Waite, the man-boy who had to be cajoled and blackmailed into leaving his slumber before noon on most days, was up greeting the birds. Alex was fond of saying 'the early bird gets the worm' and Jamie would reply 'eat worms'. So Alex sat at the kitchen table wondering if pod people had abducted his foster son during the night.   
  
"Morning Alex!" Jamie said, as he headed towards the bathroom. Alex was not a morning person either, being unable to move or do anything more complex than glower until he had his first cup of coffee, but when usually compared to Jamie before noon he was bright and chipper.   
  
"Grgeh?" Alex mumbled, his brain not quite registering what was going on around him. His coffee had not finished brewing yet.  
  
Nearly ten minutes later Alex had his coffee half finished and was beginning to get moving for the day. That's when he noticed the shower running. He looked down. Blue terry cloth robe, black slippers attached to somewhat hairy legs. He was not in the shower. Looking around he realized he was in the kitchen. So who was in the shower?  
  
Finally it occurred to him to check Jamie's room. He shuffled down the short hallway to the open door. Peering in he couldn't decide if the lump in the bed was his ward or if he needed to put his contacts in. Nah, he decided, it was Jamie, wrapped up in his little cocoon, a very dark cocoon in a very light room. The room was supposed to be dark too though, his brain told him insistently.   
  
Shaking his head, he firmly told his brain to shut up and headed into his bedroom to begin getting dressed for the day.   
  
***  
  
Jamie, for his part, was unaware of the trouble his behavior was causing to Alex's sleep addled brain (that had not quite been jump started by the caffeine yet). He was in the shower, singing Enter Sandman, quite off key, by Metallica.   
  
Twenty minutes later, Jamie had finished in the bathroom and was dressed for the day in his school uniform, his EMT uniform packed neatly in his bag so it would not wrinkle and a fresh notebook in his backpack along with several pens he stole from the station. For the first time in his life he was adequately prepared for the first day of school. He sat at the table munching on Lucky Charms, waiting for Alex to be finished. He had nearly twenty minutes before he had to get going, so Alex was not running late.   
  
Alex joined Jamie in the kitchen, popping a bagel into the toaster and pulling out the condiments and utensils he needed to prepare the perfect bagel. Finally he stopped and stared at Jamie. *What are you doing?* he asked stupidly.  
  
"Meating cereal," Jamie replied around a partially chewed mouthful. "Why?"  
  
*Why are you awake?* Alex tried again. He really wasn't awake until his third cup of coffee.  
  
"School starts today," Jamie said, giving his guardian a withering look. Alex had made a big deal about the first day of school coming up earlier that week and now he was questioning Jamie getting up early?  
  
Alex shook his head not quite sure who Jamie was reminding him of, but knowing it was somebody important. Shaking the feeling off, he began to spread cream cheese over his bagel liberally, glancing over the daily newspaper.  
  
*Ready?* Alex asked, picking his briefcase up.  
  
Jamie just shook his head slowly, thinking pod people had abducted Alex. True, he was frequently in his own little reality early in the morning, but today the haze seemed to be thicker than usual.   
  
Alex snapped his fingers suddenly, * Remember now! You remind me of Val this morning!* smiling proudly, Alex headed down to the parking lot to go to work.   
  
Sighing, Jamie followed, his helmet under one arm. Definitely a pod person.  
  
***  
  
Jamie sat in class, diligently following the teacher's lecture and the course outline on the overhead. He began to daydream, wondering how it could take 50 minutes to explain what they would be studying in World History and the classroom procedures. However; it had taken 50 minutes in his preceding three classes too. As soon as the lights flashed, he had lunch. He stomach grumbled in anticipation, only 5 minutes left.  
  
Jamie waited in line for lunch, choosing a piece of grease soaked pizza with sausage that he knew both Catie and Val would yell at him for eating. That was part of the fun of eating it, even though they were both at Kingsport High School. As he searched for a table, he wondered what their first day as seniors was like.   
  
Lunch was uneventful; he sat with some kids from his sign classes last year. They were all talking at once, trying to tell everyone what their summer vacations were like. All had stories of going to the beach or to the local amusement park. Finally, Jamie jumped into the fray as well, explaining how he had worked all summer and had gotten into a fight, pointing out a few of the bruises at his hairline that hadn't quite faded from view yet.  
  
*What's up doc?* Jeremy asked, standing over the table Jamie and his friends were sitting at.   
  
*Go away Germy,* Jamie told him, wishing the bully had forgotten about him over the summer. *I'm sure there are better people to pick on.*  
  
*But you're my special doctor!* Jeremy sighed, batting his eyelashes at Jamie.  
  
*Go away,* Jamie repeated. He had actually been enjoying the school day until this point.  
  
Before it could escalate, the lights flashed, signaling the end of lunch. *I'll see you later, doc,* Jeremy told him, sauntering away, his flunkies following slightly behind him.  
  
Jamie stared after him, wondering why there was a bully at every school and why he had an invisible sign on his forehead reading 'please beat me up'.   
  
***  
  
Jamie jumped, his pager vibrating on his belt. Despite not being on the squad anymore, he still carried his pager out of habit. It also made getting in touch with him easier. Alex liked to use it when Jamie was out later than he said he would be.  
  
132911 was the number staring up at him. At first Jamie thought it was a mistake, but if it wasn't and he didn't respond… without asking permission, he leapt out of his seat and barely remembered to call out 'I'll explain later' as he ran to his locker to get his uniform jacket and helmet.  
  
He was unsurprised to get a second page as he ran out to his motorcycle, this time with the address. It was a street not too far off, in the same neighborhood that Hank lived in.  
  
Jamie roared up five minutes later to see Hank, Tyler and Val, attempting to calm down hysteric parents and a small child on the backboard crying. "You rang?" he asked, jogging up to join them.   
  
*They're deaf,* Val signed, indicating the parents. *We don't understand and they won't write.*  
  
And a light bulb dawned. "Is the child okay?" he asked, wondering why they hadn't taken the kid to the hospital.  
  
*Yes, broken leg. We will go in a minute. Talk to the parents.* Jamie nodded shortly and turned to the distraught parents.  
  
*Sir? Ma'am?* he signed, getting their attention, *I'm Jamie, I'm an EMT. Can you talk to me please?*  
  
*How is our baby?* the woman signed, her signs were fragmented and disjointed, her pain and confusion obvious.  
  
*She broke her leg, but she's going to be fine, we are going to take her to the hospital to set the bone.* even as he worked to calm her parents down, the others were loading her into the ambulance and picking up their supplies. *What is her name?*  
  
*Sarah. Sarah Carter,* the man told the younger EMT, *I'm Mike Carter, this is Liz.*  
  
*Well, Mr. and Mrs. Carter, we're ready to go. Do you want to ride in the ambulance?*  
  
*Yes, of course,* Mrs. Carter signed, instantly, *Are you coming to interpret?*  
  
*I'm coming, but not as an interpreter. I'm deaf too. I'm an EMT.*  
  
Ignoring their shocked faces, he herded them into the back of the ambulance, firmly closing the doors for Val. He mounted his motorcycle to follow.   
  
***  
  
"I rock!" Jamie crowed after they left the hospital. The Carters daughter was going to be fine and they had a translator on staff that was better able to help than Jamie. "I rule!"  
  
Hank and Tyler both clapped Jamie on the back and began an intricate male-bonding handshake involving lots of spinning and spitting.  
  
"Boys," Val said to herself, shaking her head with a smile. Jamie deserved to crow a little bit, but not too much. *Jamie, paperwork.*   
  
"You had to go and ruin it for me, didn't you?" Jamie complained, "I expected that to be Brooke's line, not yours. She's the Queen of Paperwork in case you've forgotten."  
  
*I know, but still. Go back to school.*   
  
Jamie's face fell. "School. Right." He had forgotten that he had left without asking and he was not on active duty so there was no reason for him too. "Radio Alex and tell him to call the school in about 15 minutes or I'm going to be in some deep kaka."  
  
A/n: I forgot whom suggested Jamie go on a call to interpret but thank you (I have a nagging suspicion it was Mad Cow)!!!! I wuv you!!  
  
Also, it has come to my attention that people (or at least one person) want to make fanfics based on the Silent Lives series. I'm totally cool with that, however, I want to know who is writing them and have a copy sent to me to proof before it goes up on ff.net (if for no other reason than I want to read it first). I'm flattered that people want to do this ;)   
  
Drink more kool-aid.   



	18. I Call That a Bargain

Silent Heartbeats 18: I Call that a Bargain  
By Maureen  
  
I apoligize for any spelling mistakes, my microsoft word is on crack and I can't get it fixed. So this is from notepad.  
  
***  
  
Jamie had parked himself in front of the TV, history book in hand, to watch the Simpson's. No one else was around, the squad was off on a call and Brooke was using the computer in the other room to do paperwork. All in all, a fairly decent Thursday afternoon. Except for not being out with the squad, that still hurt. Jamie thought it would for a long time. He had only been on the squad for about six months, but those had been some of the best times of his life up until then and, sure, his life now wasn't awful...but he still wanted to be on the squad again. There was something special, speeding to an accident, helping to save peoples lives, the adrenaline pumping, knowing that total strangers were dependent on you. It was exhilarating.  
  
And he was watching the Simpson's, his only company his history book. How dull. "Hey Brooke," he called, as she walked by, arms loaded with papers.  
  
She nodded back, carefully placing the papers on the table. *What did you get Catie for her birthday?* she asked, her signs were still slow, but she was improving and accurate.   
  
*Oh damn! That's this weekend isn't it?*  
  
*Yeah. Her party is Saturday night, remember? You're her boyfriend, you are supposed to know these things.*  
  
*I thought it was next weekend. What should I get her?*  
  
*Not a clue. I was hoping you had some ideas for me.* Brooke shook her head, laughing at the confused and upset expression on her friends face, *I'm sure you will find something wonderful, Jamie. Don't worry.*   
  
***  
  
The following afternoon, Jamie was at the mall, one of his least favorite places to be, scouring the stores for the perfect 'my girlfriend is turning 18' birthday present. He instantly rejected anything from Gadzook's, despite Catie loving most of their clothes, he knew that she never bought anything because it made the person wearing them look cheap. Catie was a Goth, she was not a slut.  
  
Spencer's had plenty of novelty items, gifts that would be perfect if Brooke wasn't going to be there and if they were having sex. Both had agreed to take it slow. And Val would have his head if he corrupted Brooke any more than he already had. Plus, he wasn't really fond of strawberries - the only flavor the edible underwear came in.  
  
After what seemed to be endless, he found the perfect gift. Not too expensive, not too risqué and, best of all, something he could give in front of Brooke. It was perfect.  
  
While he was walking back to his bike, he ran into some classmates from school. He waved at them, stopping in the middle of the walkway.   
  
*How are you?* the girl asked, shifting her bags quickly.   
  
*I'm fine, you?* Jamie replied politely. He had quickly learned that you are always polite, at least at first, in a conversation because there were so few people who knew sign language. Deaf culture was different than hearing culture.  
  
*I'd be better,* her friend replied, *if she didn't drag me into every store in this place. Why are you here? I wouldn't think the mall was your favorite place.*  
  
*It's not,* Jamie admitted, *It's my girlfriend's birthday this weekend, I had to get her something.* he pulled the envelope from his jacket pocket to show them what he bought.  
  
*Hey, a bunch of us are going up to Washington in a couple weeks for the DPN reenactment. Interested?*  
  
*Yeah, maybe.* Jamie replied, not really sure, *I'd have to see what I'm doing then. I'll let you know later. I have to go now.*  
  
*Bye!* they said, waving.  
  
***  
  
Jamie waited outside of Kingsport High School for Catie to finish detention. One thing that had improved since he had transfered to the Bradford School was his detention record. Despite his initial misgivings about going to a private school, he was enjoying it. He was even begining to enjoy sign language. It was a bit easier than French.  
  
He leaned against his motorcyle, his blazer jacket whipping around behind him in the wind. He tapped his foot and glanced at his watch, ready for her to be done. He didn't notice Carlson walking up behind him.   
  
"Mr. Waite," Carlson said. Jamie didn't turn around. Sighing, Carlson realized his mistake yet again, and stepped around the bike to face Jamie. "Mr. Waite."  
  
"Carlson," Jamie replied neutrally. He had been banned from campus at the end of last school year, but his banishment had ended last June. It was early October, and he wasn't doing anything.  
  
"It's cold," Carlson said, pretending to shiver.   
  
"Yeah," Jamie agreed, not quite sure what the point was. It was always cold at night in October in Virginia. "I noticed."  
  
"How are you doing?"  
  
"Do we really need to go through this again?" Jamie asked, rhetorically. Carlson never forgot when Jamie or Catie had detention yet he couldn't seem to grasp that Jamie couldn't hear. "You should learn sign," he advised.  
  
Carlson pulled out a pen and paper, writing his message out.   
  
"I'm fine, I'm even staying out of detention somehow. Here," Jamie made the sign for 'how'. "This is 'how'." Carlson clumsily repeated it. Jamie showed him again, until he got it right. "Now, if you point at me, that means 'you'."   
  
Jamie quickly signed 'how you' to Carlson. Carlson looked at Jamie askance.   
  
"I asked how you were," Jamie said, exasperated. "Oh. You can't reply yet." He took his hand, palm up, and placed it in front of his chin, bringing it down to rest in his left hand. "'Good'". then he did the same thing palm down. "'Bad.' So, how are you?" he repeated, both in sign and verbally.  
  
Slowly, Carlson replied 'good'. Before things could get more embarassing, Catie showed up, her long black coat swirling around her legs.   
  
*You okay?* she asked, glancing towards Carlson.   
  
*Yeah, um...I think he wants something. He's being way too nice.*  
  
Catie turned her attention to the principal. "Um, can we help you with anything?" she asked.  
  
"Ah, well, that is," Carlson muttered, "I was wondering if Jamie had considered coming back to Kingsport High next semester."  
  
Catie quickly translated, not really sure she was hearing correctly. Jamie obviously didn't believe him either.  
  
"What?!" they asked.  
  
"Well, you see, a hard of hearing boy just enrolled in 10th grade and the district is supplying him with a translator. Since you now know sign, I thought- that is... "  
  
"But why do you want me back again?" There was no lost love between any of the bleacher junkies and Carlson.   
  
Carlson sighed. "Because, I've been following your progress at Bradford and I'm impressed with your behavior and improved grades. If you keep up the good work, you are more than welcome back now."  
  
"No thanks, Carlson," Jamie told him, thinking about the night before at the mall, "I like it there. I'm accepted, whereas I will always be a no-good bleacher junkie here. And Kenny with keep coming after me. Ready Catie?" he handed her his spare helmet, before pulling his on too.  
  
They pulled away leaving Carlson standing there, wondering when Jamie had stopped being a thorn in his side and started to make sense.  
  
***  
  
Val's house was no where near as fancy as Tyler's but she was Catie's best friend and her house was larger than Jamie's apartment, so the party was there. It was a very comfortable house. The party was going to be fairly small, even though they could have conceivably invited all of the bleacher junkies. Catie had inisted on this birthday being memorable though and wanted quality, not quantity. They let her since she was the birthday girl.  
  
Brooke squatted in front of the tv trying to figure out how to turn the closed captioning on. They had rented several Catie-esque movies to watch during the night. Jamie crept up behind his 'kid sister', grabbing at her shoulders, causing her to jump nearly a foot in the air. "Jamie!" she shrieked.  
  
"What're you doing?" he asked, grinning like a cheshire cat.   
  
*Closed captioning* she spelled out slowly in finger spelling. *How?*  
  
"Gimme," he ordered, quickly pressing some buttons on the remote. "There," he pronounced after a minute, "done."  
  
Tyler came into the living room then, waving at Jamie. They had all learned that waving was a fairly important part of deaf culture, a wave could mean 'hello' or 'goodbye' and it was used to get someone's attention.   
  
"Hey, man," Jamie said, hitting his fist against Tyler's. "How's it going?"  
  
*Good, good,* Tyler replied, *you?*  
  
"It's all good."   
  
Tyler didn't know much sign, but he used what he knew and wasn't afraid to ask Catie or Alex to translate or write it out. Besides, when they played basketball or frisbee at the station, which they had done frequently over the summer, they hadn't really needed words.   
  
Tyler absently picked up the movies on the coffee table. "Cecil B. Demented, The Neverending Story, The Adventures of Sebastion Cole, Labyrinth, and Goonies. Who picked out the movies Brooke?"   
  
"Jamie and Val. Guess which two he picked? But it's cool, Catie loves 80's movies so she'll be happy."  
  
"Where's Caite?" Jamie asked, she should have been here by now.  
  
Tyler tapped him on the shoulder as he headed towards the front door.   
  
"Oh."  
  
***  
  
"Catie!" Val exclaimed, opening the door. As the birthday girl, she was being fashionably late. "Happy birthday!"  
  
"Hey Val!" Catie replied, grinning from ear to ear. She knew about the party, but was overwhelmed that her friends would hold a party for her, usually her parents threw it. *Hey love.*  
  
"Presents!" Brooke cried, anxious to see what Catie received, she barely allowed Catie through the door before she was dragging the older girl to the living room.   
  
"Now?" Val asked, laughing. It was good to get together with everyone outside of the station.   
  
"Now!" Jamie said emphatically, agreeing with Brooke.   
  
They trooped to the living room, settling in around the living room table, Catie wedged on the sofa between Jamie and Val.   
  
"Me first!" Brooke announced, handing Catie her present. Catie unwrapped it as slow as she could instead of tearing into the colourful paper like she usually would. It was entertaining watching Brooke squirm with anticipation.   
  
Finally she opened the box, revealing a Harry Potter t-shirt that looked like it came from a real school in England. "Oh wow!" Catie cried. It was the shirt she had been ogling over with Val a few weeks before. "Thank you Brooke!"  
  
"Me next!" Jamie said, putting his envelope in her hands.   
  
*Glamour Shots?* Catie asked, confused. *Like those professional pictures?*  
  
*Yeah, I got you a complete sitting, makeup, hair, everything. You're gorgeous you know.*  
  
"Aww!" Catie cooed, hugging her boyfriend fiercely around his neck. *I love you.*  
  
Val gave her a Beatle's lunchbox and Tyler gave her the Dexter Freebish CD.   
  
***  
  
The night progressed rapidly, with much pizza being devoured and popcorn thrown at David Bowie in drag.   
  
*I don't understand it,* Brooke signed absently during the movie.  
  
*Don't understand what?* Jamie asked.   
  
*Why did David Bowie agree to dress in drag like that?*  
  
*He's a rock star, Brooke, he has always dressed differently. For him, this is almost tame. Just accept it and go on.*  
  
*Is he straight?*  
  
*Beats me, I think he is married now though.*  
  
***  
  
"Guys, this was the best birthday ever!" Catie cried, hugging Val and Brooke tightly around their necks. "Thank you."  
  
"Aww, sweetie, it was our pleasure," Val replied, knowing this would be the last birthday they had together. Senior year meant a lot of "final times". In less than a month they would begin applying to college.   
  
*Thank you, Jamie,* Catie said, hugging Jamie. She was very shy about PDA and even after dating for more than six months, she was still hesitant to do anything past hugging or a quick kiss on the cheek in public. *I will see you on Monday, okay?*  
  
*Happy birthday, Catie, I love you.* he signed, hugging her back. *I got to go though. Tyler is bugging me to go and he's my ride.*  
  
*Love you too.* "Bye Tyler!" Catie called, waving at the football player in the driveway. She was spending the night with Brooke and Val, well, as much night as was left at 2am.  
  
***  
  
A/N: ASL grammar and english grammar are quite different, but (now that I am learning ASL grammar) I will continue to write the ASL in english grammar.  
  
DPN: Deaf President Now protest at Gaulladet University, it took place in 1988  
  
Special thanks to Josh, Cal, Vonnie, and everyone else at Coffee Plantation that I missed (even though they don't know about this fic) for helping me learn about deaf culture and for working with me to learn sign language. 


	19. Save Me from Going Mental

Silent Heartbeats 19: Save Me from Going Mental  
By Maureen  
  
***  
  
"God, this is ridiculous!" Tyler exclaimed, throwing the stack of papers in his hand on the table. "I will never, ever, complain about doing paperwork again!"  
  
"I'm going to hold you to that," Brooke informed him, her arms loaded with papers as she headed to the storage room to file them.   
  
"Haven't you learned yet?" Val teased, "You can't say stuff like that around here! The walls have ears!"   
  
The dynamic duo as they were being called now that Hank was in college, were attempting to fill out college applications to submit by November 1. Both had claimed half of the table in the kitchen at the station (and divided it fairly with masking tape) and heaven help anyone who tried to use the table for something else.  
  
"Hey guys," Catie said, flouncing in as she usually did in a blur of black. Today she had her customary pig tails braided through with blue that matched the blue in her peasant blouse and trim on her black skirt.   
  
She glanced at the papers strewn across the table. "Ugh, you over achievers make me sick!"  
  
"Haven't you started filling these out yet? If you start now, you may finish by next millenium." Tyler informed her.   
  
"I'm going to state so why do early admissions? I already have 2 brothers at state, and it's not like I have a choice, unlike two EMTs I could mention." Catie pulled up a chair, careful not to touch or otherwise disturb the papers. She had no desire to watch them go mental when she was wallowing in self pity.  
  
"What about Ohio then? I thought they had sent you some info on minority scholarships?" Val asked, momentarily forgetting that Catie had wanted to keep that quiet.  
  
"Ohio State?" Tyler asked, intrigued. OSU was a good school, one he never would have expected to be interested in Catie.  
  
Catie sighed, knowing that her secret was out, "Yeah, Ohio State is interested in me. They're willing to give me two partial scholarships, one for being half hispanic and the other for academics. My parents would only have to pay the same as state here." Catie explained.  
  
"Catie, that's wonderful!" Tyler exclaimed, congradualating her. "Um...wait, did you say for 'academics'?"  
  
Catie snorted shaking her head, "Yeah. I'm not brainiac smart like you two, but I'm not failing by a long shot. I do homework in detention, or did you think I just stared at Carlson all the time?"  
  
"Does anyone truly know their friends?" Tyler asked rhetorically. Val just laughed, knowing that Catie was ranked 90 out of 400 students. This put her in the top 25% of the class, a very respectable place to be.  
  
Catie stuck her tongue out at the both of them, before turning somewhat serious. "I'm turning them down, my parents don't even know about OSU, okay? I'm not going."  
  
"Catie!" Val complained, "You can't do that! OSU is so much better than state!"  
  
"Well, I am." Catie was nothing if not stubborn.  
  
"Why don't you like OSU then?" Tyler asked. He wanted to go to up to Boston and was applying to all the universities in that area.   
  
"Well, Jamie will be here and he's probably going to state too," Catie explained, without realizing how sappy she sounded.  
  
"Um, Catie, does Jamie know about OSU?" Tyler questioned.  
  
"No."  
  
"Don't you think he should know? He may not go to state...and I'm sure he'd want you to have the best education you could get."  
  
"He's a ward of the state. He'll go to state on scholarship, he doesn't have any other options," Catie told him, getting annoyed at his questions.   
  
"Fill out the applications for OSU, Catie," Tyler instructed her, "Don't worry about Jamie. If he loves you as much as I think he does, he will be thrilled you're applying. He'd be more upset if you didn't."  
  
"Damn you!" Catie hissed, grabbing her bag and leaving them. Instead of heading farther back into the station to see Jamie, she left, her eyes stinging. How dare he make sense! How dare he say that!!  
  
***  
  
Two hours later, Jamie was watching the Simpsons on tv with Brooke. The squad was out on a call.  
  
*Hey,* Tyler signed, joining Jamie on the couch. *We got back a minute ago. Val is going to sleep.*  
  
"Hey,." Jamie looked at his watch, "Have you seen Catie today? She said she was going to come by, but I thought she'd be here by now."  
  
Tyler thought for a moment, his signs were slow, but he was progressing. *Catie was here earlier, but I thought she saw you.*  
  
Jamie shook his head, no, *I never saw her. Thanks.* Jamie got up and headed back to the store room to finish his work for the day. Alex was working late that evening so he had taken a break so they could leave together (aka so Alex would buy him dinner).   
  
Instead of working, he sat behind some boxes, thinking. Catie had come to the station to visit him, and saw Tyler, but not him. He knew that Catie wasn't cheating on him, at least not with anyone at the station. She and Tyler were friends and not each others 'type', and Catie and Mikah didn't get along because he had taken Jamie's place on the squad. So she wasn't cheating. What else could it have been?   
  
Jamie rejoined Tyler, grabbing the dry-erase board off the kitchen counter. *You saw Catie.* it wasn't a question.  
  
*Yes,* Tyler replied, confused.  
  
*What time today?* Jamie handed him the board in case he didn't know the signs.  
  
/After detention, about 4:00/ Tyler wrote quickly, handing the board back.  
  
"Did anyone else see her?"  
  
Tyler nodded, quickly finger-spelling, *Val.*  
  
*Why did she not see me?* Jamie was hurt. She had seen Tyler and Val but not him!  
  
Tyler sighed, not sure what to do. Tell Jamie about Catie possibly applying to OSU and violate her trust in him, or lie to Jamie and have him possibly think that the woman he's devoted to is possibly cheating on him, when Tyler knew for a fact that she wasn't.  
  
Catie would forgive him, eventually, for telling Jamie about OSU. Niether would forgive him for destroying their relationship, nor would Val or Brooke or Alex or...well, anyone he knew. Destroy all his friendships or tell a secret. That was the question.  
  
/I made her upset,/ Tyler wrote, /and she left./  
  
"What?" Jamie exclaimed, not expecting that answer.   
  
/She received scholarship offers from Ohio State University and she doesn't want to take them because she thinks you would be upset. She says she's going to go to Virginia State that way she can be with you in college too. She didn't want you to know about OSU. I said she should apply because you would be more upset if she didn't./  
  
Jamie nodded slowly, not sure what to make of that. Catie was going to possibly screw up her future to be with him? "Call her up Tyler, I want to talk to her."  
  
Tyler, looked at Jamie, confused. *Relay service?* he asked.  
  
"No, call her home number! Give me the phone when she gets on the line," Jamie instructed. He wasn't going to go through some operator for this. This was important, he needed to tell her.   
  
Tyler dialed the number, and waited for a moment. After a minute, he handed Jamie the phone.   
  
"Catie?" he asked. "This is Jamie. I had Tyler call you. Just listen okay? He told me about you getting scholarships from OSU. He only told me because I was worried, you said you were going to stop by and I never saw you. Anyways, I want you to apply if that's the school you want to go to. Don't go to state just for me, that's stupid! Besides, I've been looking at colleges a little. Thinking about majors. I think I want to go to Gallaudet, if I can get in. Okay? I may end up at state, but I would rather you go to Ohio and be happy than stay just for me. You wouldn't be happy there for very long, even if we were together. I'm going to hang up now, Catie. I love you. Think about it okay, love?" Jamie returned the phone to the cradle.  
  
"Did I say things okay?" Jamie asked, Tyler.   
  
*Yeah,* Tyler told him, clapping him on the arm. *Yeah.*  
  
***  
  
A/N: Jamie and Catie aren't breaking up, but every relationship has its snags and they hit one. It's okay. For those who don't know, I've capped the story at 25 chapters and have them all plotted out. I'm going to try to have this fic finished for New Years, but I make no promises. I'm one a roll writing right now, so anything is possible.   
  
Thanks, MC for being the only member of the Maureen Fan Club. Maybe I'll do like pearl jam and release a special fic for the holiday season to all the members of my fan club. heh, guess that would only be you huh? 


	20. The Saga Begins

Silent Heartbeats 20: The Saga Begins  
By Maureen  
  
Disclaimer: characters = Disney, song = Weird Al, story = me, profits = 0. Man, I have th short end of the stick! well, on with the fic  
  
***  
  
*Here Jamie,* Catie signed, handing him the shopping bag hanging off her arm. She had two bags with her, and he couldn't see inside them. All he knew was that they were going to a Halloween party at the station and she had picked the costumes.  
  
He opened his bag with mild trepidation, well, there was a medium sized pile of cloth, which meant no thongs. Hopefully.   
  
"I'd better not regret this," he told her, taking the clothing into the bathroom. She would be getting ready in his room, having told him that she will need more room and time to look just right.  
  
In the bathroom he pulled the cloths out and groaned. She didn't. She did. Damn her. If she weren't his girlfriend he'd be sorely tempted to refuse. Sighing he traded his jeans for the loose brown cloth and his t-shirt for the matching loose vest and Georgia clay colored sash.  
  
A long, long time ago  
In a galaxy far away  
Naboo was under an attack  
And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn  
Could talk the federation into  
Maybe cutting them a little slack  
But their response, it didn't thrill us  
They locked the doors and tried to kill us  
We escaped from that gas  
Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass  
We took a bongo from the scene  
And we went to Theed to see the Queen  
We all wound up on Tatooine  
That's where we found this boy...  
  
In the bed room Catie carefully applied the white base to her face and neck. As she was finishing, Jamie walked in, glaring at her. *You like?* shed asked, knowing fully well he didn't.  
  
*I am not going as Anakin Skywalker!* he signed furiously. Just because he had decided to grow his hair longer did not give her permission to do funky stuff to him!  
  
*You look cute though!* she replied, smiling. She picked up a small paintbrush and her red lipstick, painting on the telltale red rectangle on her lower lip showing she was going to be Queen Amidala.   
  
*This is a conspiracy!* Jamie complained, flopping onto his bed and turning on the TV. He steadfastly ignored Catie as she continued to apply her make up.  
  
You have no idea, love, Catie thought to herself, smiling slightly. Nearly an hour later she washed her hands and proclaimed she was finished. Rummaging in her bag, she pulled out a comb and a black hair tie. *Jamie, sit up* she ordered, getting to work on his hair. A minute later, he had a tiny ponytail behind his right ear. *Done!*  
  
*Are you ready then?* Jamie asked, looking at the time. It was nearly 7:00pm.   
  
*Yes,* Catie responded, fitting her headpiece on and making sure it was secure.   
  
Oh my my this here Anakin guy  
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry  
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye  
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"  
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"  
  
They took Catie's car to the station, meeting everyone else there. The station common room was decorated with orange and black balloons and streamers, fake cobwebs placed about the room. Everyone was in costume except for the on duty EMTs, who sported masks they could take off quickly in case of a call. *Anakin, Amidala! It's about time you got here!* Alex said, stepping out of his office. He was dressed as a young Obi-Wan Kenobi.   
  
*This is a joke,* Jamie said, his eyes widening in disbelief. It was a conspiracy!  
  
*No,* Alex replied, as Catie gripped her boyfriends shoulders turning him around, *This is.*   
  
Slowly Val, Hank, Tyler, and Brooke came in, signing *surprise!* All were dressed as Star Wars characters, Val as Princess Leia, Tyler as Han Solo and Hank was Lando Calrissian. Brooke, for her part was an E-wok.   
  
"Oh, my god!" Jamie exclaimed, sure that he had fallen into the twilight zone.  
  
Did you know this junkyard slave  
Isn't even old enough to shave  
And he can use the Force, they say  
Ahh, do you see him hitting on the queen  
Though he's just nine and she's fourteen  
Yah, he's probably gonna marry her someday  
Well, I knew he built C-3PO  
  
"Why?" Jamie asked, sure, it was Halloween, but he was expecting a few lame games like bobbing for apple cores (much scarier than bobbing for apples) or the Texas Chainsaw Massacre playing on the TV. He was not expecting to fall into another dimension.   
  
*Happy birthday,* Brooke signed, picking up a box wrapped in Halloween paper.  
  
"My birthday?" Jamie said, confused. It wasn't for another week!  
  
And I've heard how fast his pod can go  
And we were broke, it's true  
So we made a wager or two  
He was a prepubescent flyin' ace  
And the minute Jabba started off that race  
Well, I knew who would win first place  
Oh yes, it was our boy  
  
*Open it, Anakin,* Alex said, steering Jamie to the couch. Opening Brooke's present he found a Star Wars poster signed by all his friends, even Faustus, the only one not present, had signed.   
  
Before he opened the next one, Faustus ran in minus his omnipresent glasses and dressed as Luke Skywalker. *Sorry,* he signed. /I got lost/ his signing was minimal at best, but playing video games didn't require hearing.   
  
*Here,* Val said, handing him another box. Inside was a Star Wars video game for his game boy. Jamie laughed, seeing where this was heading. From Hank and Tyler he received star wars boxers to which he was forced to reply "You two will never see me in them!"  
  
Faustus gave him a Wookie Furby that he had made by reprogramming another furby and finally Catie gave him a set of light sabers in green and red. *Thanks,* he said to all, and giving Catie a kiss. He wasn't expecting anything for his birthday and despite its weirdness, a nice surprise.   
  
*You forgot me,* Alex signed, handing over another box. Inside was an empty bottle of 'Qui-Gon-Gin'. *I ordered if off the Internet, and before you get any ideas, it came empty.*  
  
Jamie smiled, and pretended to drink it all down and get instantly drunk. He stood up shakily clutching the bottle and staggered about the room, aware that everyone was laughing at him, yelling mock orders to C3PO and R2-D2 to get him food and more gin. Since his trusty androids were absent from the party, Brooke and Val came out with the refreshments. True to form, they had ordered a Star Wars cake and had Star Wars paper plates and napkins.   
  
After eating, and lots of joking around, Jamie cleared his throat, "This is the nuttiest and bizarre good thing to ever happen to me, I think, and I want to say thank you to everyone. This will certainly be a party to remember."  
  
We started singin' ...  
My my this here Anakin guy  
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry  
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye  
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"  
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"  
  
*Pictures!* Catie both signed and exclaimed, ruining the mushy moment. She pulled out a camera and flagged a passing station worker over. Instantly all the girls and Alex had pulled out cameras and were trying to pose everyone for the camera.   
  
After what seemed like an eternity, they stopped posing. Ankakin and Amidala; Lando and Han; Anakin, Leia, Amidala, and Luke; Anakin and Obi-Wan, the list of pictures taken was seemingly endless.   
  
Now we finally got to Coruscant  
The Jedi Council we knew would want  
To see how good the boy could be  
So we took him there and we told the tale  
How his midi-chlorians were off the scale  
And he might fulfill that prophecy  
Oh, the Council was impressed, of course  
Could he bring balance to the Force?  
They interview the kid  
Oh, training they forbid  
Because Yoda sensed in him much fear  
And Qui-Gon said "Now listen here"  
"Just stick it in your pointy ear"  
"I still will teach this boy"  
  
"Let's go trick or treating!" Brooke suggested since Alex was the only one on duty and he wouldn't want t go anyways. They quickly threw the plates away and wrapping paper away and grabbed the plastic bags Brooke had brought to go trick or treating, despite being too old.   
  
The ran out into the chilly night, thankful that their costumes were long sleeved and thick. "Trick or treat!" they cried, at the first house they came too.   
  
"Well, aren't you a little old?" the man said who opened the door.   
  
"It's for charity sir, for the kids at the hospital who can't go trick or treating tonight," Catie replied quickly, keeping a straight face.   
  
"Well...alright," the man replied, handing out candy to the large group of teens.   
  
"Thank you," everyone chorused, running down the driveway.   
  
He was singin' ...  
My my this here Anakin guy  
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry  
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye  
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"  
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"  
  
"So what happened?" Jamie asked as everyone doubled up with laughter around him. Quickly Catie explained and Jamie too laughed briefly.   
  
"Catie!" Val admonished lightly, "That was terrible!"  
  
"Anything for the candy Val!" Catie replied, her eyes twinkling.   
  
We caught a ride back to Naboo  
'Cause Queen Amidala wanted to  
I frankly would've liked to stay  
We all fought in that epic war  
And it wasn't long at all before  
Little Hotshot flew his plane and saved the day  
And in the end some Gunguns died  
Some ships blew up and some pilots fried  
A lot of folks were croakin'  
The battle droids were broken  
And the Jedi I admire most  
Met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast  
Well, I'm still here and he's a ghost  
I guess I'll train this boy  
  
"I want candy!" Jamie began to sing, loudly and while once he would have been on key was far from it now.  
  
"I want candy!" everyone sang, joining in, locking arms and doing the Wizard of Oz dance. It was a silly night and they were rapidly dematuring.   
  
The kids out trick or treating with their parents looked on and laughed while the parents frowned at how the older high schoolers were behaving.   
  
And I was singin' ...  
My my this here Anakin guy  
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry  
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye  
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"  
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"  
  
After they were too cold and achy to continue their hunt for candy they returned to the station. "We really should donate this," Hank said, looking at the massive pile on the floor of all their bags combined. Catie translated.  
  
"But it's candy!" Brooke cried, possessively. Catie nodded in agreement.  
  
"So not all of it, but it is a lot of candy,' Val said, comforting her younger sister. "We'll all pick out a couple pieces we want and then donate the rest."  
  
They agreed and soon all the candy bars had been fought over and claimed and Brooke had a small bag to take home with her. Catie took most of the gum, claiming it was better it rot her teeth than a kid in the hospital. As shaky as her logic was, nobody contested it. They still had a considerable pile of candy left over. Scooping it into the remaining bags, Hank went to get permission to take 'Speed Racer' the old and rarely used rig over to the hospital to give it to the kids. It was so slow now that they couldn't respond to a call if they had wanted to. Alex consented, stressing that if anything happened it was on their heads.   
  
We were singin' ...  
My my this here Anakin guy  
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry  
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye  
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"  
  
They piled in, the van not meant to carry seven people and were soon inching their way to the hospital. Okay, so it wasn't that slow, but it seemed to be. Once in pediatrics they got permission to pass the candy out to the unhappy kids, making them feel better. It was midnight by the time they finished playing with the kids and got back to the station. "Man," Jamie said in the passenger seat of Catie's car, "This has been the most awesome birthday yet."  
  
*Shut up, Anakin!* Catie signed, kissing him.   
  
  
A/N:There really is a website 'selling' stars wars liquor which includes 'qui-gon gin'. Also, this is a response to Ironberries challenge J there was a floating apple core mentioned! And why did I pick Star Wars? Simple, it has lots of characters and merchandise, the song fit AND it was funny!! 


	21. Giblet Gravy

Silent Heartbeats 21: Giblet Gravy  
By Maureen  
  
***  
  
*Ready?* Alex asked when his foster son, Jamie, came into the living room, bag in each hand.  
  
"Yeah," he replied, running his hand nervously through his shaggy black hair. "Are you sure I can't stay home?" Jamie had decided to grow his hair longer and was firmly stuck in the shaggy stage.  
  
The duo was heading to Alexs' sister's house to spend Thanksgiving. She lived with her husband and children an hour away in the next town over. His entire family was going to be there and Jamie wasn't sure it was his proper place to be with them. He wasn't used to being around 'family' and certainly not during the holidays.   
  
Jamie had never had a traditional anything, much less Thanksgiving. His Thanksgivings were (if he was lucky) TV dinners in the bedroom he shared with his older brother and Christmas was usually spent the same way. He had received a few presents from charity organizations that had somehow gotten his name, but that had become rarer the older he became, and by the time he was fifteen there was nothing. New Years was spent with friends wandering the streets, causing whatever mayhem they could without being arrested. Family was a concept that was completely alien to Jamie, but he had been learning for nearly a year now, that family wasn't always who you were related to by blood, but those that stuck by you, no matter what. And Alex, among others, had certainly done that.  
  
*You're going. Now stop whining, I want to get there before it gets too late,* Alex was firm, knowing the reasoning behind Jamie's hesitance. *We're having a good, old fashioned Thanksgiving whether you want to or not!*  
  
"But I don't know your family! I'm not even your real son!" Jamie replied sullenly from the passenger side of the car.  
  
Aha, Alex thought, the truth comes out. He turned to Jamie without starting the car. *James, you are my son, no matter what. I'll probably never have kids, and your biological father will never be a true father. Face it, like it or not, we're stuck with each other. I'm proud to be your dad, okay? You are family. You just had the luxury of avoiding the insanity of relatives for most of your life.*  
  
Jamie just stared at him in shock. He nodded mutely, not sure how to respond.   
  
Alex began the car and they pulled out of the apartment parking lot.  
  
***  
  
"Why're we staying for three days?" Jamie asked, half way to the house. He reached up to the light switch on the ceiling, turning on the little light.  
  
*Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, Friday we are going Christmas shopping and Saturday we're just hanging out. We'll come home Saturday night.* Alex replied, once they stopped at a street light.   
  
One problem with sign language was that it was impossible in the dark. Alex had already replaced the tiny light bulb on the ceiling once since Jamie had come to live with him, and that was the first time he had to in the six years he had owned the car! The other problem was that it was nearly impossible while driving.   
  
Jamie turned the light back off, lost once again in thought. He said I was his son, he thought, his son. Not once in his life had he ever been proud to be someone's son.   
  
***  
  
The house was in a nice neighborhood, about the same as the one Hank lived in. The houses were well kept, not nearly as big as Tyler's, but at the same time, larger than Val's. Jamie was slightly intimidated by Val's house though and felt completely out of place at Tyler's.   
  
Alex pulled up to the curb, behind another car. *I have two sisters,* he said, *Erika lives here with her family and Melissa is visiting with her family. Melissa is divorced, Erika's husband is Doug.*  
  
"Okay," Jamie said, knowing he had already forgotten. It wasn't important in the grand scheme of life.  
  
They rang the bell, and through the small windows on either side of the door, Jamie could see a herd of children running to the door, all vying for the privilege of opening the door. A woman waded through them, opening the door.   
  
She was perhaps a few years younger than Alex, with chestnut coloured hair. She wore a peach sweater over khaki pants and loafers. She hugged Alex quickly before trying to do the same to Jamie.   
  
Jamie stepped back quickly, suddenly afraid. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Alex say something to her, and she quickly backed away, murmuring.   
  
*Sorry about that,* Alex signed, *She gets a little too enthusiastic, but she's harmless.*  
  
*Like a snake,* Jamie replied without thinking. The first minute of 'a traditional thanksgiving' and he was already screwing up!  
  
Alex shot him a 'look' and headed inside before they let anymore cold air into the house. Jamie followed Alex and his sister into the living room where two other adults sat. He stood there awkwardly as the introductions were made. "Hi," he said, not really caring who they were.  
  
*The older kids are in Karl's room,* Alex informed him allowing him to disappear, *Upstairs, end of the hall.*  
  
***  
  
Jamie had dropped his bag and backpack by the front door, but he retrieved the backpack as he headed upstairs. He had brought a couple Anne Rice books with him, both borrowed from Catie, as well as his gameboy and a few games.   
  
Jamie didn't bother to knock on the bedroom door, he just walked right in. Sprawled around the room were three other teens between thirteen and seventeen. They looked at him curiously. "I'm Jamie," he said by way of introduction.  
  
The girl, who appeared to be the oldest, said something, before motioning him into the room. Jamie closed the door behind him, it was an unwritten rule, teens never left their sanctuaries open to be violated by adults.   
  
She pulled out a piece of paper from the desk she sat at and quickly scrawled a message across it. /I'm Jenna, this is Ashley and Karl. My mom said you were coming./  
  
The trio were obviously used to being together at family functions and the four sat, staring at each other.  
  
Jamie finally got fed up with staring at the others and pulled out his gameboy and favorite game, Paperboy II. Karl, the youngest, crept over, looking over Jamie's shoulder as he played. "You like video games?" Jamie asked finally.  
  
"I can't see you," Jamie said, knowing the boy was sitting just behind him. Daniel quickly scooted around to face him. "So, do you?"   
  
Karl nodded enthusiastically, jabbering on about something. Jamie sighed. People were stupid and thoughtless and careless. Even Alex's family. Before Jamie could interrupt, Jenna smacked Karl on the shoulder, saying something. Karl immediately looked ashamed, and reached for the paper.  
  
/I want a X-Box, I already have a PS2/ he wrote, his handwriting tiny and messy.   
  
"I want some new videos," Jamie told him, "Especially X-Men and the Star Wars Trilogy set. I already have Episode 1."   
  
The night progressed fairly rapidly after that, with the teens deciding to watch True Lies on TV.  
  
***  
  
In the living room, the adults were being boring and drinking coffee. "So what's it like having a foster kid?" Doug asked. He had four kids, Jenna and Karl from a previous marriage and Sasha and Evelyn with Erika. "Make sure he isn't running off with the good silver?"  
  
"He's not a criminal," Alex replied smoothly, simply ignoring why Jamie had become an EMT in the first place, "He's just a kid who's been kicked around by life so much, that it's all he knows."  
  
"How can parents hurt their kids?" Melissa asked, rhetorically. She had three children and couldn't conceive of harming any of them intentionally.  
  
"I don't know, Mel," Alex replied, sipping his coffee, "All I know is that Jamie is doing remarkably well. As long as his life maintains a general routine and he knows what to expect, you'd never be able to tell him apart from any other normal teenager," Alex gave a wry grin, "It's when I drag him to family Thanksgiving dinners that he gets upset."  
  
"He was skittish earlier," Erika added, referring to when she had tried to hug him.  
  
"He doesn't like to be touched, especially by people he doesn't know. He's jumpy, cautious. You would be too if you were him."  
  
"When are you going to go into private practice?" Melissa asked, "You've been at that station for nearly five years now!"  
  
"I don't know, I like the station, keeps me young."  
  
"You took that job kicking and screaming, ranting about how you were going to transfer out after a year," Doug reminded him.  
  
"Things change," Alex responded stubbornly ending the conversation.  
  
"Well, who do you think's going to win the game tomorrow?" Doug asked, switching topics.   
  
***  
  
The next morning, the house was a zoo, with Melissa and Erika getting in each others way trying to cook dinner and Alex and Doug already staked out on the couch for the football game. The little kids were running around the backyard and the older kids were still waking up.  
  
"Mom!" Karl complained, as he shuffled into the kitchen, "I want to watch a movie but Jamie's still asleep!"  
  
"Well, wait then," his mother replied, "The video will be there later."  
  
"Hey, Karl!" Alex called out, he was not giving his seat up for anybody, "Don't worry about him. Just watch your movie, it's nearly 11:00 anyways, he needs to get up."  
  
Karl ran back upstairs, pleased to get permission.   
  
"Alexander!" Erika admonished, "He shouldn't wake up guests!"  
  
"Eri, it's okay. Nothing short of Armageddon will wake him. Jamie can sleep through anything," Alex said, calming her down. Normally he wouldn't go against a parent when it concerned their child, but it was true. Jamie could sleep through everything but having water poured on him. It was very effective for getting him moving on school days.  
  
***  
  
Early afternoon, once everyone had woken up and was busy doing whatever they could to a). help b). hinder or c). stay away from warzone formerly known as a kitchen, Alex's mother showed up. She came in laden with dessert and a camera bag. Of course, no matter what was going on at that moment stopped so she could be hugged, kissed and generally welcomed. Jamie stood back, not sure what was expected of him.  
  
"You must be Jamie!" Grandmother Freeman exclaimed, holding her arms out towards Jamie. Everyone else had already greeted her.   
  
"Um...hello," Jamie said, respectfully, bending down to give her a hug. She was one of those grandmothers that was as soft as cookie dough and twice as hard as a oreo. If she wanted a hug, you gave it to her! "It's nice to meet you."  
  
*Same,* she signed, winking at him. *I've studied languages all my life, I took ASL more than twenty years ago. I'm a little slow, but I still remember!*  
  
*I thought no one here would know sign but Alex,* Jamie replied surprised.   
  
*He forgot to tell you? Who do you think encouraged him to take ASL in college for his language requirements? I'm fluent in Spanish, French, Latin and passable in ASL, child!* she left her bag by the purse before heading into the kitchen to dictate how everything should be done.  
  
Jamie headed back to the living room, stunned. *You never said your mom knew ASL!* he accused his foster father. *She nearly gave me a heart attack!*  
  
*Sorry,* Alex signed, not looking sorry at all. He grinned, turning back to the football game when Jamie left to go back to his book.  
  
Despite the minor chaos, dinner was a fairly mild affair. They ate at 4:00, making it a late lunch or early dinner. According to Jenna, it was a "Linner", but nobody paid her any attention beyond setting the table.   
  
Conversation all but stopped as food was passed around and the turkey carved. For nearly thirty minutes all that could be hear was utensils clinking against the plates. It was very peaceful and picture perfect. Finally people began to slow down and finish their meals and conversation began again.  
  
"Mmm, that was delicious," Jamie complimented. Before they had left, Alex had drilled his ward on the proper behavior during the weekend.   
  
A few hours later everyone was laying around in various states of digestion, trying diligently simply to move. Groaning, everyone was getting up and shuffling to their bedrooms. Jamie continued to lay on the living room floor with his eyes closed.  
  
A foot kicked him. Well, nudged is a better word, but to a overly stuffed teenager, any movement involving feet and a side of his body means 'kicked'. "Go away," he muttered, too full to even open his eyes.   
  
The foot kicked him again, this time harder.   
  
Jamie opened his eyes to see Grandmother Freeman staring down at him. *Go get changed! It's time for the picture!*  
  
"What picture?"  
  
*The family picture we take every year. Go get changed! You did bring nice pants and a shirt right?*  
  
So that's why Alex had been so particular about what he packed. "Yeah, I did." Jamie knew better than to argue with the family matriarch, but he wasn't family, he didn't understand why he was expected to be in the photo.  
  
Ten minutes later he had returned dressed in khaki slacks and a black long sleeved shirt. It was very 'bleacher junkie', but it was not ripped and there was nothing inappropriate on it. Everyone else was dressed similarly in khaki's and polo shirts or skirts.   
  
*Why me?* Jamie asked Alex, *I'm not really in your family. You said I was your son, but I'm not their grandson or cousin. I'm not their family.*  
  
*I already talked to them. You're my son. Period. This means you get bossed around by my mother and in the family picture. It means you have to buy Jenna a present tomorrow for secret Santa too.*  
  
*Why didn't you tell me all this earlier?*  
  
*Because I thought you'd be afraid. I thought if everything happened before you could think about it, it would be better. Now, stand next to me behind the couch, Doug has to focus the tripod.*  
  
Numbly Jamie followed Alex behind the couch. He really didn't look like he belonged in the family and he certainly didn't feel like he did, but here he was. Standing properly in nice clothes about to take a 'holiday photo'. Like he was in a normal family. A family.  
  
***  
  
Okay, sappy enough for the holidays? love Maureen  
  
A/N: for those of you living in a cave, the X-Box is a new game system for video games. 


	22. Jeopardy

Silent Heartbeats 22: Jeopardy  
By Maureen  
  
***  
  
Jamie Waite lounged on the sofa of the station working on his geometry homework. Tyler was helping him a little, but was mostly engrossed with his calculus.   
  
A hand waved just inside his line of vision. Jamie looked up, surprised to see Lisa, a girl from school. *Hey,* he signed, *What're you doing here?*  
  
*Looking for you. Are you busy?* she asked, noticing the textbooks and papers that were littered everywhere.  
  
*Just doing homework, nothing that can't wait. What's up? How'd you find me?* Jamie sat up and cleared a space on the couch for her to sit.  
  
*It wasn't hard, there are only two stations that use teens and the other is clear across town. And I wanted to know if you're coming to the rally next weekend.*  
  
*Rally?* he asked, not understanding.  
  
*Yeah, the Deaf President Now rally reenactment at Gaulladet. It's not this weekend, but next weekend. There's a whole group of us going from school, and I wanted to know if you were interested.*  
  
*It's in Washington DC?*  
  
*Yeah, you can take a look at the University too while you're there. Most of us are applying there, figure you will too.*  
  
*I don't graduate for a couple more years and I don't know if I will go to college. But I'll ask and let you know tomorrow, okay?*  
  
*Sure, I'll see you tomorrow!* she stood up and left, breezing past Caite.  
  
***  
  
Jamie set the table and made a nuisance of himself at dinner that night. He and Alex had begun a new routine where they alternated cooking four days a week. It was Alex's night to cook so Jamie was setting the table and getting ready for dinner.   
  
Alex was making a pork tenderloin (prebought from the store and warmed in the oven) with mashed potatoes and green beans. Neither were very advanced in what they could cook, but had become about even in skill over the past few months. Catie had also helped teach Jamie.  
  
Finally they sat down to dinner, fixing their plates so the food was perfect.   
  
*So, how's school?* Alex asked.   
  
*Not bad. I'm doing better this year in history, but geometry might kill me.*  
  
*Don't forget our deal, you can only make one C this year on your report card. Everything else must be an A or B,* Alex admonished.   
  
*Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know!* Jamie replied back, annoyed. He was always nagging about grades. *I am doing fine in everything but math, okay? Listen, there's a group from school going up to Washington DC to look at Gaulledet, and I was wondering if I could go.*  
  
*Details? When is it?*  
  
*Not this weekend, but next weekend. It isn't a school sponsored trip, but some of the teachers are going, so it would be chaperoned.*  
  
*How much?* Alex questioned, not really wanting to let Jamie go quite yet. While he would support almost anything his foster son wanted to do, he was only 16 and was still getting used to being deaf.   
  
*I don't know,* Jamie admitted, his gut telling him that he probably wouldn't be able to go.  
  
*Well, I'm not sure this is such a good idea. You are scheduled to work that entire weekend so you could have the weekend before finals off to study,* if Alex used a practical negation it wouldn't be as bad as a personal one.   
  
"But, I want to go!" Jamie replied verbally. He was speaking less and less around anyone who knew sign simply because it was becoming easier to sign an entire conversation than speak and sign. He was nearly fluent. He knew his reasoning was weak, but he was feeling cooped up in Kingsport.  
  
*No,* Alex was firm *But, maybe we'll go to DC over Christmas and look at Gaulledet then, you don't have to look at colleges yet, you know.*  
  
Jamie sighed, knowing he had lost. Alex was easier on him than he used to be, but he was still a stubborn old mule at times.  
  
***  
  
Catie sat in her sociology class nearly bored to tears. She had quickly learned that the teacher didn't care what a student thought if they weren't male, white, and Christian. She sighed, disagreeing with the teachers views on racism, but after six weeks of arguing with him he had threatened to lower her grade if she didn't stop. She needed the scholarships she was competing for if she wanted to go to Ohio State.  
  
Finally she couldn't stand it any more. "Mr. Brownson, how can you say that about minorities?" she didn't bother to raise her hand, "I think if we learned more about different groups then understanding could come from that knowledge and we could all get along better. No one is superior to anyone else!"  
  
"But the statistics are right in front of you, Miss Roth, numbers don't lie," Brownson replied smugly.  
  
"Numbers may not lie, Mr. Brownson, but liars can figure," she replied "You can manipulate data to say what you want it to. People who have a disability don't have to be treated differently. They can do anything a person without a disability can do, just in a different way sometimes."  
  
"Prove it then," he ordered, "Give me an example."  
  
"Music. Simply because someone is deaf doesn't mean they can't enjoy music. They can feel the vibrations and many deaf people have at least some hearing and they can dance and go to concerts and whatever. They understanding music differently than a hearing person, but they can still understand it."  
  
Brownson pursed his lips in a line. "Class dismissed!" he called when the bell rang. "Miss Roth, a minute."  
  
"Yes sir?" she asked, knowing he was going to tell her that she had just lowered her grade. If she had to she'd fight him all the way up the school board. Who allowed basketball coaches to teach a class involving thinking?  
  
"This Friday we're having a study day. I want you to give a presentation that supports that theory of yours, and I want proof. Your presentation can be done any way you want, power point, overhead transparencies, poster, anything. But, I want proof."  
  
"And if I don't?" she challenged.  
  
"If you don't, then we'll not be having any more discussions in class like we had today and you will not challenge my lectures."  
  
"I thought we were supposed to learn to think for ourselves in school," Catie retorted, gathering her bookbag. She'd give him a presentation all right! She stomped out of the class before she said something she regretted.   
  
***  
  
Later that night while Catie was doing research and Jamie was waiting for Alex to finish up at the station.  
  
Gothrebel: Can you believe this jackass?   
ProbEMT: unfortunately. this is a popular opinion.  
Gothrebel: well, I have to do this presentation on why I'm right, doing research now  
ProbEMT: aaaand?  
Gothrebel: lol - I was hoping you could come in and help prove me right :)  
ProbEMT: I dunno...I'd have to miss class and Alex has been riding me about my semester grades  
Gothrebel: he'd understand! and besides, your school couldn't complain, you'd be helping them  
ProbEMT: I'll see. maybe. I mean, I want to...but it would be weird...I'll let you know tomorrow.  
Gothrebel: yeah, okay :D love you  
ProbEMT: love you too, I gtg now, Alex is ready to leave. Bye  
Gothrebel: bye!   
  
***  
  
Catie and Jamie walked into Catie's sociology class Friday morning, not really sure what was going to happen. Bradford had allowed Jamie to miss his first three classes, so he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt with his leather jacket instead of his school uniform.   
  
Catie headed quickly to the teacher, explaining Jamie's presence. He nodded, looking the young man over. Brownson was certain that he'd seen the young man before, but couldn't remember where.  
  
Just before the bell rang, Carlson came in and sat down, interested in what the 'dynamic duo' had in store for the class. He left his pad of detention slips on the desk.  
  
Catie cleared her throat and stood next to Jamie in front of the class. "Last Wednesday I said that disabled people could do anything able-bodied people could do and I used the example of deaf people and music. Mr. Brownson asked me to prove it. I made up a fact sheet, which is being passed around, but I'd like to introduce Jamie, he's my real proof," Catie motioned for Jamie t o begin.   
  
Instead of talking, he began to sign, quickly and efficiently. Catie translated for him. *My name is Jamie and because I'm deaf, Catie is translating for me. If I look familiar to anyone it's because I used to go to school here. I became deaf not quite a year ago and sign has become my primary means of communication. When I first became deaf, I didn't know what to do. Music was a huge part of my life, I played the guitar, I liked to sing, I loved to go to concerts and listen to music. More than that, I couldn't hear what people said to me, I couldn't understand what was going on around me. I can still talk, but I have difficulty modulating my voice, so sometimes I yell and I don't mean to.   
  
A few months after I began to learn sign, my class took a field trip to the symphony. I didn't want to go. I couldn't understand why they were torturing kids with music we'd never be able to hear," Jamie paused, letting Catie catch up to what he was signing, "But I discovered that music was still there. I could feel the vibrations, I could see the movements of the orchestra, there were lights that corresponded to different sounds so I could see if the music was going faster or slower, graceful or choppy. Different coloured lights matched different sections of the orchestra so I could tell if one section was making a different type of sound than another. It was beautiful."  
  
I never thought the symphony could be so entertaining. A few weeks after that I was invited to the KHS spring formal. I was afraid to dance, and I didn't except for a couple slow dances. It wasn't much fun. But my school had a dance a few months ago, and all these deaf kids were dancing to the music the DJ played. I couldn't believe it. But then I realized, I could still feel the beat. Last weekend I went to my first concert since becoming deaf. I danced, I screamed, I headbanged and moshed along with everyone else, and no one knew I was deaf unless they saw me signing."  
  
Music can be a huge part of my life, no matter what I thought before I became deaf or what anyone else thinks now. I can't understand lyrics and I can't hear a regular stereo or radio, but I can feel music, I can hear the instruments. I've met deaf pianists and drummers. I will probably start playing my guitar once I have time to practice more, maybe I'll learn the drums. I'm only limited by what I think I can do and by what other people don't let me try." Jamie paused again, letting Catie catch up.  
  
"Any questions?" he asked out loud, turning to Catie, he told her "I'll respond verbally, okay?"  
  
Catie nodded, ready to translate the question and pointed to her teacher, dreading his question. "Is there anything you can't do because of your handicap?" he asked.  
  
"Not really. Some things are harder and since I can't read lips I need a translator for some things. The only thing I really have difficulty doing is making phone calls. I use a TTY, which is a text telephone, but there aren't many for public use so I can't call home from a mall or anything. And ordering a pizza is annoying because I use a relay system that connects my TTY to an operator who will call the pizza place and place my order for me. But I can still do it, just with some modifications. Sometimes it is easier to get a hearing person to make a phone call for me, but I can do it."   
  
Jamie didn't want to admit he was no longer an EMT, but Catie told him he had to. "Okay, there is one thing I can't really do anymore. I used to be an Emergency Medical Technician and I can't do that anymore because I can't hear a diagnosis or orders from the senior EMT. I am still certified and I can keep that certification current if I want to though. And I have been called in to translate for deaf people before. I also still work at the station doing inventory and upkeep."  
  
The rest of the class asked questions until the class was over. Carlson, to Jamie's surprise, hadn't asked any questions, and hadn't even said anything as he left. Jamie watched him leave, surprised.  
  
***  
  
That night Jamie laid awake in his bed, thinking about what he had said earlier that day. This is who he was now. He couldn't change it. His life had improved even. It was weird, his shrink had been telling him this for months now, but he hadn't really believed it until he had said it today. He felt lighter.  
  
Tiptoeing into Alex's room, he whispered, "Hey Alex!" smiling as his foster father woke with a start.  
  
*What?* he signed, certain something terrible had happened.  
  
"Thanks," Jamie told him, heading back to bed, leaving Alex bewildered.  
  
***  
  
A/N: I didn't look up when the DPN rally was held, I just remember seeing a picture of students in sweaters ;) so yeah...I made it in December.  
  
I had a Soc. teacher in HS who only liked opinions from white male Christians. Yeah...we got into many heated 'discussions' most of them pertaining to why he was a closed-minded bigot.  
  
I do know a deaf pianist. He's cool. Also, many deaf kids play with drums as a part of their music education so they can feel the beat and rhythm. 


	23. Silent Night

Silent Heartbeats 23: Silent Night  
By Maureen  
  
standard disclaimers apply. Isn't it about time I got some more chapters out!?  
  
***  
  
The Christmas tree was wedged in the corner of the living room between the entertainment unit and the sliding glass door that led to the patio. It hadn't yet been decorated and looked naked to Brooke.  
  
Jamie and Alex were hauling boxes of lights, ornaments, and tinsel out of the storage closet while Catie worked on her Christmas baking. Every year she made coffee cakes for her friends and family instead of buying them presents. It was delicious and much cheaper than gifts. However, she was forced to do it all at Jamie's apartment because her mother was busy in the kitchen.  
  
It was weird, they had already decorated the station for Christmas, but Jamie and Alex hadn't begun to decorate their apartment and Christmas was only a week away. At Jamie's insistance, Alex had invited everyone over to help them decorate, the only restriction was that no holiday music be played.   
  
Alex felt that it was strange having the kids he worked with over at his house decorating for Christmas. It had never seemed strange having Jamie live with him. Once they got over the initial awkwardness of having to adapt to living with another person they got along great.   
  
"You have a nice place here, Alex," Hank commented from where he and Tyler were untangling lights. Hank had been home from the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, for nearly a week and spent almost all of his afternoons and evenings at the station, just hanging out. He had also volunteered to man the recruiting booth at the high school while he was in town.  
  
Alex grunted a reply as he put the boxes of ornaments down carefully. Jamie put his box of tinsel down next to Alex's boxes. He looked at the tree for a minute before looking at Val and Brooke, "Where do we start?"  
  
*Haven't you decorated a Christmas tree before?* Brooke asked, being much more adept at sign than Val.  
  
Jamie didn't reply, flushing scarlet. No words were neccessary as four sets of eyes stared at him in disbelief. Catie and Alex both knew that he never had.  
  
"Right, well, lights always go first," Val said, taking charge. She signed *lights first* to Jamie, pointing at the lights Hank and Tyler were brandishing.   
  
Much goofiness and stupidity ensued with Brooke and Val trying to direct everyone with how the tree should be decorated and no one paying any attention to them.   
  
Finally the tree was finished. Or, more importantly, Alex had run out of tree decorations. While her cakes were baking Catie had taken pictures of the antics, capturing the tinsel in everyones hair.  
  
***  
  
Christmas Eve Jamie and Alex headed back over to his sisters house, bringing their presents with them. Everyone would open their presents Christmas morning.  
  
Jamie was much less nervous about facing Alex's family than he was at Thanksgiving, but he still wasn't really looking forward to it. They had some family tradition to buy a person a gift as a 'secret santa' drawing. Jamie had drawn his so-called 'cousin', Jenna and had gotten her the movie 'Ever After', but he wasn't sure. He had barely met her when he had to buy her a Christmas present.   
  
For Alex he had bought a set of new cufflinks with his initials engraved on them and he bought Catie a bath and body gift basket in her favorite smell, apple. With the basket he included a sticker he had found that read 'I look weird, but I'd kick your ass on jeopardy'. He had also used the money child protective services had given him to buy presents for Hank, Tyler, Val and Brooke, although he bought them more generic gifts with Catie's help. For Hank and Tyler he bought magnetic gyroscopes of the solar system in silver. They would spin in circles forever or until they ran out of inertia, whichever came first. He included two stickers with the presents, one for each. Hanks said 'Let's get one thing straight, I'm not' and Tyler's said 'variety is the spice of life', both were on rainbow backgrounds. For Val and Brooke he bought them smaller gift baskets like he had bought for Catie in wild orchid for Val and spring rain for Brooke.  
  
Alex pulled the car up in front of his sisters house, once looking forward to seeing everyone again.   
  
"Is your mom going to be here again?" Jamie asked, pulling his bag out of the backseat.  
  
*She should be here already.* Alex replied, heading up the front stoop. They would be staying for two nights, before Jamie and Alex had to go back to work.  
  
"Hey Alex!" Melissa cried, coming out of the house to greet the duo. "Hey Jamie," she said, turning to Jamie and waving.   
  
"Hello," Jamie replied, politely. Even if no one knew sign except for Alex and his mother, a wave was an improvement.  
  
Inside was almost an attack of sights, smells, and for Alex, sounds. Erika and Grandmother Freeman were both in the kitchen where Melissa joined them and the little kids were running around the living room, while Doug tried to keep rein on them so they would not hit the Christmas tree.  
  
After giving everyone the cursory hello, Jamie headed upstairs to where the other teens were. It was a bit awkward, but they were better to hang with than the little kids or the adults.  
  
***   
  
The next morning dawned too early for Jamie's tastes. Because there were so many people staying overnight in the house, Jamie was sleeping on the floor of Jenna's room with Karl next to him with Ashley and Jenna in Jenna's bed. It wasn't the worst place he'd ever slept, his bedroom at his father's house being that, but it wasn't very comfortable either.   
  
Alex nudged Jamie awake before waking the other teens up. "Alex, it's only 8:00am," Jamie growled, staring blearily at the clock, "Go away."  
  
*It's Christmas, presents.* Alex signed back, making sure everyone else was up and moving.  
  
With a start Jamie realized that some of those presents were for him. He rarely got anything for Christmas and really hadn't been expecting anything despite going Christmas shopping for his friends. This had actually been the first time he'd ever really gone Christmas shopping too, since his father had never thought his kids were worth presents.  
  
Glancing around, he saw that the others weren't getting dressed and that he was fine wearing his flannel pajama pants and a black t-shirt. He liked black t-shirts.  
  
***  
  
"Do we have to open them one at a time like in the movies?" Jamie asked Grandmother Freeman, as everyone got settled around the living room, glasses of orange juice in hand.  
  
*No, but we usually let the little kids tear through their gifts first that way we can relax a bit later.*  
  
Jamie sighed, both anxious and annoyed, Christmas was a joke to him and sleeping was not.  
  
***  
  
Two hours later, Jamie sat on the floor watching The Truman Show with his...well...he didn't know what to call them really. They had treated him well, bought him presents, didn't ask anything in return...they had treated him like family.   
  
Family. More and more Jamie was being to understand this once alien concept. It was kinda scary.   
  
They had given him more clothes than he had known what to do with. His...aunts and uncle had given him gift certificates to Old Navy, Hot Topic, Gadzooks and Barnes & Noble. From Alex's mother he had received two new gameboy games and his secret santa, Doug, had given him the collectors edition of Lord of the Rings. The best present had come from Alex though, a brand new skateboard. He admitted later that Catie had told him what to buy though.  
  
All in all, it had been a very rewarding holiday and not just in presents.  
  
***  
A/N: I have never decorated a christmas tree. my mom would say that b/c were jewish we had a hannukah bush and whenever I asked where ours was she'd reply that it was in the backyard growing. I always thought that was a stupid answer, but appearantly a lot of jewish parents tell their kids that there are hannukah bushes. I also found a picture of my mom as a kid with a christmas tree and when I asked my mom about it she said that one year Grannie had bought one for the kids. my grandmother claims that my mom and my uncles whined so much about not having one she finally gave in. that sounds much more believeable. 


	24. Goths and EMTs and Headshrinkers, oh my!

Silent Heartbeats 24: Goths and EMTS and Head Shrinkers, oh my!  
By Maureen  
  
if you're still reading this then you don't care about the language used. So there.  
  
***  
  
More and more Jamie had been realizing how wonderful his life had become. He was only going to therapy once a week now too, which was a distinct improvement. He hated therapy with a passion.   
But he loved Catie. Even simply sitting with Catie was special. That's what they were doing at the moment, relaxing under the bleachers at Kingsport High School, watching Val and fellow cheerleader clones torture themselves in the cold.  
  
Jamie never understood why people would want to hurt themselves for their school. For what they believed was certainly understandable, but for a school? You were just going to leave the school in the end and what was the point of that?   
  
That was why he and Catie, liked the bleachers. Hanging out underneath them was shady in the summer and much less windy than the average Virginia winter, plus they could still laugh at the jocks on the practice field without being seen. In the end, a win-win situation.  
  
Catie sighed, content to relax in her boyfriends arms. She enjoyed cuddling way too much. "Comfy?" Jamie asked. Catie nodded contentedly, snuggling into Jamie's chest. "Good, because it's time to get up."  
  
Jamie tried to dump her onto the ground, but discovered it was very difficult when they were already sitting on the ground. *Why? What time is it?* Catie signed, pouting a little that her pillow had moved.  
  
*3:30. I have to go to the head shrinker.* Jamie never said "psychologist" or "therapist", especially out loud. It was always "a doctors appointment" if he said it verbally. He was ashamed that he needed one, despite Alex's assurances that this was standard procedure. And no one at the station had made fun of him or anything...unlike that time the girl had a reaction to her asthma medication and had knocked him unconcious.  
  
*Damn. Well, I'll talk to you later, okay?*  
  
*Sure. Love you.*  
  
*Love you too! Now go before you're late!*  
  
Jamie smiled to himself and headed towards his motorcycle.  
  
***  
  
*So how did this make you feel?* Dr. Applehearst asked Jamie for what seemed to be the fifty-millionth time in the almost-year he had been seeing the teen.  
  
Jamie looked at him strangely from across the desk. He was slouched in his chair as usual, steadfastly refusing to lay on the provided couch. "It pissed me off of course! I mean, normal people get pissed when they do their homework and leave it at home!"   
  
*But did you take that anger out on anybody?*  
  
"You know I didn't! You get a weekly statement about what's going on and what I've done from Alex and my teachers! God...Forgetting my homework once is not the end of the world. And I haven't been in trouble in months!"  
  
Applehearst nodded, jotting notes onto his yellow legal sized notepad. He was a fairly traditional psychologist, but he worked in an unconventional setting. While his office was littered with books and notes and patient folders, he conducted the actual meetings in a separate room. Each wall was a different colour, including the floor and ceiling and although he had a desk, chairs and a couch in the room, Jamie got the sense that Applehearst wouldn't complain if he had decided to lay on the floor.   
  
That's what Jamie was going to do on his last therapy session. He was going to lay on the floor and make the 'head shrinker' sit on the floor with him. He was certain Applehearsts' bones would creak something awful. It was the little things like this that made Jamie miss having his hearing.  
  
Jamie's attention wandered around the room, checking everything out. In his peripheral vision he saw Applehearsts hand waving at him. "You fluttered?" Jamie asked innocently.  
  
*Yes. Thank you for your attention. I was about to ask how Catie's doing.*  
  
"Catie?" Jamie paused for a minute unsure how to answer. He knew this was a mind trick to get information, but he wasn't being asked about himself. Clever. "Catie's fine."  
  
*She's graduating this year, isn't she?*  
  
"Yeah, in June."  
  
*Does she know where she's going to school yet?*  
  
"She was accepted to Ohio State already, but she's not sure if she wants to go there. She hasn't accepted yet."  
  
*How does this make you feel?*  
  
"About what? Her leaving? Who the hell would want to stay here? Going so far away? If she's happy, why not? Or are you referring to her waffling decision?"  
  
*I meant 'how do you feel about her possibly leaving you?'*  
  
Jamie stared at the doctor. *Bastard,* he signed, before continuing aloud, "I don't want her to go of course! But...Alex and I were talking about it, and I think he's right. It's not fair to either of us if she stays here because of me. I want her to be happy."  
  
*You think you love her?*  
  
Jamie shrugged and didn't answer.  
  
*You know everything you say in here is confidential.*  
  
Jamie continued to stare at him. Finally he answered, "I think that's between Catie and myself. See ya next week."  
  
***  
  
It wasn't that he hated the head shrinker, Jamie reflected on his drive home, but that he had an annoying tendency to ask the worst questions at the worst times. He was certain that one of the qualifications to being a psychologist was a mild enjoyment of sadism.   
  
But the damn questions kept persisting. 'do you love Catie?' 'she might leave you to go to school.' Jamie just wanted to live in the now with her, and not worry about what may or may not happen in 6 months!  
  
'Do you love Catie?' the question nagged him. He wasn't sure anymore, not entirely. On one hand, of course he did, she was his girlfriend. But if she loved him in return why would she seriously consider leaving? And they had some great times together, but they had drifted apart a little of the recent weeks and even though they were still close, their lives were busy. Jamie sighed, pulling into his parking space at the apartment complex.  
  
Damn shrink.  
  
***  
  
*Hey Alex, has Catie said anything about where she wants to go to school?* Jamie asked at dinner around a mouthful od spaghetti.  
  
Alex looked at his son askance. *She's accepted OSU three weeks ago. She's already sent in her confirmation, Val said.*  
  
*Really?* Jamie replied, surprised. She hadn't said anything to him! *I'm not hungry anymore.*  
  
Jamie went straight to his room and logged onto the internet, hoping she'd be online. Thankfully she was.  
  
ProbEMT: hey Catie  
Gothrebel: hey Jamie! *kisses*  
ProbEMT: you didn't tell me you decided to go to OSU  
Gothrebel: ...oh  
ProbEMT: why not?  
Gothrebel: I didn't think you'd like it  
ProbEMT: I don't like you not telling me things!  
Gothrebel: I'm sorry. I just didn't want to hurt you  
ProbEMT: oh so now I'm some dumb deafie that needs to be protected?! Is that it?!  
Gothrebel: No! Jamie!  
**ProbEMT logged off**  
  
Jamie locked himself in his room for the rest of the night.   
  
But Alex had a key to the door. He wasn't stupid enough to let a teenager live in his apartment without having a key to the bedroom door. Opening the door Alex was surprised to see the darkness. The curtains were closed, the computer shut down, there was no light anywhere except where the hallway light came through the door.   
  
Jamie slouched in his desk chair, his feet propped on the bed. Cradled in his arms was his guitar which he strummed absently. His eyes were closed.  
  
Gently Alex touched Jamie's shoulder. Jamie's eyes flew open and he whirled around, facing Alex. "Get out!" he screamed, begining to stand up. "Out!"  
  
Alex closed the bedroom door and gingerly sat against it on the floor, there was a rainstorm coming, he could feel it. After his eyes adjusted to the light he could see Jamie's silohuette.   
  
After a few minutes Jamie turned his back to his foster father and began to play the guitar a little again. With a start, Alex realized he knew the song, "American Pie" by Don McLean. He began to sing it to himself, wincing whenever he or Jamie hit a wrong note. They would not be the next musical duo that was for sure!  
  
Finally Jamie stopped and turned around. "Why are you still here? I know it's not for my playing."  
  
*Good point,* Alex replied, wondering how well signing would work in the dark. *What's wrong?*  
  
"What's wrong? Why does everyone want to know what's wrong? You want to know Dr. Appletree or whatever his name is wants to know! I'm sick of people wanting to know my business!"  
  
*Jamie,* Alex gave him a 'look', *Don't give me that crap. You don't usually lock yourself in a darkened room and play your guitar. In fact, this is the first time you've touched it since you moved in here. Now what's wrong?*  
  
"Catie's leaving and she didn't tell me." Jamie pouted like a child, not sure what upset him more. "I don't want her to go. Everyone goes."  
  
Alex slowly stood up, making a mental note to take some aspirin as soon as he could. *Come here,* Alex said, pulling Jamie gently towards the bed. Jamie was almost sitting in Alex's lap. Alex just held his son letting the sobs that wracked his body subside.  
  
He handed Jamie a kleenex to blow his nose. *Feel any better?* It was always awkward for Alex every time Jamie broke down, but at least now it was for a tangible reason that Alex could maybe help fix.   
  
Jamie nodded. *I...it's just that everybody leaves. My mom left, my dad, Peter. They're all scum but they were my scum you know? And they left.*  
  
Alex sat there for a minute, not sure what to say. He never really thought that Catie leaving would affect Jamie so much, or that his family abandoning him at different times meant anything since they all had treated him like dirt. *But you've gained a new family and just because Catie's going away to school doesn't mean you can't still be friends. And maybe I'll even let you go visit her on a long weekend or something.*  
  
*But we won't be going out!*  
  
Alex sighed. This was more complex than he had realized. He knew that Jamie loved Catie and vice versa even if the two kids hadn't realized it yet, but at the same time they were still kids. Catie had only recently turned 18. *Hank and Tyler aren't going out anymore either. In fact, Tyler is thinking of taking Val to prom. You can always be friends no matter how much it may hurt at first. And who knows? You two might get back together in a few years.*  
  
Jamie nodded, snuffling. Alex handed him another tissue. *I guess you're right,* Jamie reluctantly agreed. *But I don't like it.*  
  
*I know, Punkie, I know. You're not supposed to like it. It's life.* Jamie and Alex had spent New Years with Alex's family once again and Jamie kept beating Karl at Donkey Kong for play station and at one point Karl had hollered 'stupid Punkie always beating me!', much to the amusement of everyone, including Jamie. In only a few short weeks it had become something of a pet name between Jamie, Alex and his family.  
  
Jamie stood up and stretched, helping Alex up with his bad back. They headed into the living room all emotional outbursts forgotten about in the bond of manhood.   
  
An hour later Alex got up from the movie they had decided to watch to get more popcorn and found Jamie sprawled on the floor, asleep.  
  
***  
A/N: only one more chapter left! Hopefully I will work on Pounding Heartbeats now and finish it (it will be about 8 chapters total so it shouldn't take too long) and the next story in this saga is called Silent Lives (I think - it could change). After all, there are still many things Jamie must overcome...can anyone guess what some of them are?  
  
My dad once bought me a sweatshirt that said "Ferengi and Klingons and Borg, oh my!" what's even sadder is that I wore it. Once. Only once. I still have it, it is very comfortable to lounge around my bedroom in during the winter. But I only do it when there's no one else around and I am feeling especially dorky. 


	25. The End

Silent Heartbeats 25: The End  
By Maureen  
  
Disclaimer: well...this is the end, my friends. the end. And I am now going to stop with The Doors references. honest. The characters are still owned by Disney even though the show is now on at 1:30am Saturday, Sunday and Monday which is the screwiest times ever. I'm still a poor college student so I don't have any money and I'm certainly not making any money off of this so don't sue me.  
  
***  
  
Jamie Waite rode into school on his motorcycle as he did everyday. He was freezing in the cold February morning and wanted nothing more than to get into the heated school building as fast as possible.  
  
Inside he was greeted by now familiar faces with the ones from his classes waving hello. Some he replied to, others he didn't depending on how much he liked them or not. One boy, a senior, just stared at him. Jeremy Miller or "Jermy" as Jamie liked to refer to him never said anything polite to Jamie. Or to anyone who hadn't been born deaf he found out.  
  
He was jealous of anyone who had had hearing long enough to learn to speak. Jamie didn't let Jermy bother him anymore, but he wanted nothing more than to punch his lights out if he ever got the chance.   
  
Opening his locker he quickly deposited his side bag with his uniform in it for when he went to work later and got the books he needed for his first few classes. School was no longer the burden he had once been forced to endure. True, he didn't see the point of everything they did, but he enjoyed science and english. He was also liking his web authoring class where he made webpages.   
  
*Hey, Jamie,* Chris, the guy who's locker was next to Jamie's signed, *How do you think you did on yesterdays history test?*  
  
Jamie made a face in response, *I finished it, which for me is good. But...I think maybe a B. I don't like history very much.*  
  
*Same here,* Chris replied but the lights flashed to go to first period before he could say anything more. *See you later!*  
  
*Later!*  
  
***  
  
Jamie's first class was web authoring and he both liked and hated that it was first period. He liked that his favorite class was first, but he hated that it meant that he got it over with so quickly. He also hated that Jermy was in it.  
  
Jermy came sauntering in well after the final bell, not caring that he was interrupting the class. He took his typical seat in the back row of computers, logging onto the internet.   
  
Jamie just shook his head as Jermy passes his computer and continued trying to work the bugs out of the questionaire page he was working on. He was having problems getting the CGI scripts to do what he wanted.  
  
The girl next to him, grabbed his shoulder unexpectedly, signing and pointing towards Jermy. He was gasping and choking, going into convulsions.   
  
Jamie's EMT training took over, "*Call 911!"* he both signed and yelled, grabbing a nerby flobby disk and wedging the plastic piece between Jermy's teeth so he wouldn't bite through his own tongue. He grabbed the girl next to him who was having hysterics and forced her to sit indian style on the floor with Jermy's head in his lap. *Try to keep his head on your lap, but don't force it. Move with him.*   
  
Jamie took his pulse, wishing he had his stethoscope with him. Shaking his head, he began to rummage through his wallet, hoping there would be a key to what was happening there. Behind his drivers license was a doctors card saying he was diabetic.   
  
Jamie moved to let Val, Tyler and Misha in as soon as they arrived. "His name is Jeremy Miller, he's diabetic. Pulse is erratic!" he told them, slipping into his role as the gofer of the team.  
  
He pulled everything out of the bags they needed without having to be signed it, knowing instinctively from months of working with Val and Tyler what would be needed and when. Finally they were able to secure Jermy on the gurney to take him to the hospital.   
  
"Should I come too?" Jamie asked, unsure.  
  
Val shook her head, closing the ambulance doors. *I'll see you later today. Brooke will want paper. Bye!* she headed around to the passenger side of the ambulance to go. Her signing was still short and choppy, but she got her point across.  
  
Jamie sighed, not wanting the Queen of Paperwork on his case. She was his friend, but still!  
  
***  
  
That afternoon Jamie was in high spirits about still having the 'chops' to be an EMT. "Hey Brooke!" he called, throwing his jacket and bookbag onto the couch. "You have paperwork for me!"  
He couldn't believe that he was actually excited about doing paperwork. That was the one part of the job that everyone loathed.  
  
*Here,* Brooke said, handing him a thick stack of paper. *Have fun weirdo!*  
  
"Hey Brooke!" Catie called, coming in behind where Jamie was sitting. "What's up?"  
  
"There was a call at Jamie's school this morning, he assisted. Now he's hyper and excited to do paperwork. See if you can get his enthusiam to spread to the others." Brooke informed her.   
  
Catie just shook her head, sitting down across from Jamie. *Hey loverboy!*  
  
*Oh, hey Catie,* Jamie replied. After their last fight they had made up, but Jamie was still a little wary. He loved her and he trusted her, but she had broken that trust and he couldn't forget that quickly. Forgive, yes, but not forget yet. *How're you?*  
  
*I'm good, you?*  
  
*Fine, fine. Had an EMT call this morning.*  
  
*Brooke told me, that's awesome! I was thinking we could go out tonight and celebrate? If you don't have too much homework, that is.*  
  
*I can't, I'm working late here tonight so I can spend all of Saturday with you.*  
  
*Oh,* she looked crestfallen, *Well how about we celebrate Saturday then?*  
  
*Sounds good, see you later!*  
  
*Bye!* Catie waved, heading out. She had wanted to see more of him, she felt complete him. It was so weird not having Jamie with her all the time even after a year of going to different schools. Was this what college would be like? A feeling of incompleteness all the time?  
  
***  
Two days later, Jamie sat in web authoring still trying to work through his CGI script when Jermy walked in. *Hey,* Jermy signed stopping at Jamie's desk.  
  
*Hey,* Jamie replied.  
  
*Um...some girl came and told me what you did.*  
  
*Who?*  
  
*A tall blonde who couldn't sign very well and a shorter girl with brown hair who could sign. I think they were sisters. Blonde was hot.*  
  
*Yeah, they're sisters. I work with them at the station. Val took you to the hospital.*  
  
*Yeah. Um...I just wanted to say 'thanks'. I'm new to this diabetic thing, I guess I didn't take it seriously enough. And is the blonde seeing anyone?*  
  
Jamie laughed, *No problem, but Val's got a crush on another guy. She's had it forever. Besides, there's a no interference rule for EMTS, can't date your patients, even after the fact.*  
  
Jermy nodded thoughtfully, *You know something Jamie? You're not so bad.* Jeremy headed down to his own computer.  
  
Jamie sat there for a minute with a little half grin. Then he got back to work on his web page.  
  
***  
  
A/N: nope, none. 


	26. Author's Acknowledgements

Silent Heartbeats: Author's Acknowledgements  
By Maureen  
  
no disclaimer for this chapter! it is MINE!!!!  
  
***  
  
This is my time! Jamie's had 25 (yes 25!) chapters to tell his story and I've only got short blurbs before and after his stuff! So now it is my turn!!! Bwahahahaha!!!!  
  
Anyways there are a few people I'd like to thank and whatnot, some may have been thanked earlier, but this is the definitive "thank you" list. This isn't in any order of importance or anything.  
  
My mom - she has never understood my need my write or why I write what I do (and I never let her read my stories) but she has always supported me no matter what I wanted to do.  
  
My dad - you ripped up a story once instead of proofing it. I hate you for that and I thank you for helping me take criticism. I will fix that story and it WILL get published. But I'm never letting you proof anything for me again.  
  
Josh - my boyfriend. He just learned about this fic ;) But without him I would never have begun to learn about Deaf culture, because while he was reconnecting, I was getting more fic material than I knew what to do with.   
  
Mad Cow - the ONLY member of the "we love Maureen" (or whatever the name is this week) fanclub. She has reviewed everything and is always asking when the next chapter is coming out or giving me ideas and playing the 'what if' game. She is the ultimate plot bunny. I'm not sure this fic would have been finished without you.  
  
Aricraze - for her boundless enthusiasm in everything I write and for nagging me when I don't write. And for her reviews. My fics feel incomplete without a review from her.  
  
Darkchilde - for encouraging me and helping me realize that although she can make me laugh, I can make her cry. And both are very difficult emotions to capture with words. Together we could write some beautiful things.  
  
Arcadia - for her snail-mail letters that always inspire me to write, even when they aren't about IaHB at all! for proofing everything and making me realize that nothing is "too mature" as long as there is no hardcore sex invovled!  
  
BE-A-TLE - even though life thinks it is fun to beat on you, you are an amazingly gifted writer and I wish you the best. I love brain storming with you and working through plot twists.  
  
Vonnie & Cal - for helping me learn sign and patiently teaching me about Deaf culture. There is more than I could incorporate into this fic.  
  
Erin aka SineNomine - for being anal retentive to the nth degree to detail. For making me research EVERYTHING and WHY it is like that. Sometimes you annoy me, but it is very satisfying to answer all of your questions to the degree you want.  
  
***  
  
Spoilers: The next fic is tentatively titled Silent Lives, unless I can think of a better title before I finish chapter one.  
  
Speaking of chapter one...I have about 3 different versions because I can't quite decide where I want to start the fic. eek!  
  
But here is what I do know: a major character will be leaving, 2 minor characters will be leaving, one minor character will play a major part, there will be a new major character introduced (she has been mentioned before, but only once in passing) and some old characters will be coming back! *breath* if that wasn't enough there will be more of Alex's family showing up to call Jamie "Punkie"!   
  
Also - college search, more on Jermy and Dr. Jennifer Riviera will be showing up at some point. I really don't know when yet ;) Anything you guys want to see? let me know at starsmore40@hotmail.com 


End file.
